I: First Impressions

Night to February 18th, 1998

When your life is a total mess, when nothing you do or say feels right, when nothing around you matters… What are you going to do to make things right again? When you feel so detached and out of it and just don’t care anymore, when you are almost beyond redemption… Can your scarred soul free itself from its prison and find salvation?

Joshua Slater stared at his computer screen for a few second, reading over what he’d written another time just in case there was something he wanted to change. But after deciding he liked it the way it was, he turned around on his chair to face his two best friends who were lying sprawled out on his king-sized bed, passing a bottle of rum between them.

“You know, I never noticed how nice your ceiling looks,” the red-head, Chad Foster, said thoughtfully as he was staring up at said ceiling.

Josh raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s way to drunk for their own good,” he commented, then snapped the rum-bottle from his friend’s hand and took a sip from it.

“Hey, give it back,” Chad complained, reaching his hand out for the bottle, but it got to strenuous for him so he let it fall down across the third boy, Spencer Rennie’s chest.

“I’m giving it back exactly when I feel like it,” Josh smirked, then turned on his chair again and grabbed his video-camera from a shelf. It was already on, having taped most of their evening already. He zoomed it in on Chad, who grinned and started making faces at it.

Spencer rolled his eyes at Chad’s grimaces, while Josh chuckled. “Hey, Spence, you’ve been very quiet all night,” Josh commented as he moved the camera over to his other best friend.

The golden-haired boy shrugged awkwardly, as he was lying down and shrugging his shoulders then became a bit difficult, and took the rum bottle Josh handed him. “Aren’t I always like this?” He questioned teasingly.

Josh gave him a look. “Not quite like this, no.”

“Well, I’ve just been thinking a bit,” Spencer said.

“Thinking about what?” Chad asked, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look down at the other boy.

Spencer glanced from Chad, to Josh, to the camera. “That I’m going to get myself a job,” he revealed to them.

“A job?” Josh stared at him. “What kind of job?”

“I don’t know,” Spencer said, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly again. “In a store, café or diner or something, I guess.”

“You won’t earn a lot of money that way,” Chad pointed out, snapping the rum-bottle out of Spencer’s hand.

The golden-haired one looked over at him. “It’s better then what you do for money,” he threw back.

“Is it, really?” Chad raised his eyebrows. “Just by sucking some guy off, which takes only like a few minutes, ‘cause I really am that good, I get more than you’ll earn working for an hour. And then just think what I earn when I actually let some guy f**k me.”

“I don’t even wanna think about that,” Spencer said, rolling his eyes. “And don’t you even say things like that! I’ll never sell myself like you do, you s**t!” He made a face while Chad just laughed lightly. “Because, unlike the two of you, I’m still a virgin and I want to stay that way until I meet a guy I can fall in love with.”

“How romantic,” Chad said mockingly, rolling his eyes. “Life isn’t like that, Spence. And you know that just as well as Josh and me.”

Spencer sighed. “Can’t you allow a guy to dream? For a little while at least?”

Chad laughed, nudging his friend’s side. “I guess I can allow you to dream until you turn eighteen,” he said. “Because then you’re off age, and real life really kicks in.”

“How can you know that?” Spencer pointed out. “You haven’t even turned eighteen yet. You’re not turning eighteen ‘til f*****g December.”

“My life already is crap,” Chad said. “I already have to provide for myself. My father doesn’t care. Though I’m sure that life somehow will find a way to screw me over even more when I do turn eighteen.”

“Gee, you’re such an optimist,” Spencer muttered.

Josh shook his head with a small smile and he ran one of his hands through his blond locks, ruffling his hair up while his other hand was busy holding the camera, making sure to get his two friends on tape. They did this a lot, the three of them, drinking together in his room and filming everything. It made for major entertainment the next day when they usually suffered each their terrible hang-over.

“You two are sleeping over, right?” Josh asked when the other two had stopped talking.

“Of course! I’m not going to be able to go home once we’ve finished that one,” Chad snickered, motioning to the rum-bottle in Spencer’s hand. “And frankly… My dad is probably busy with some paid hooker or something. I don’t wanna come home to that. I did once before, and it’s f*****g disgusting. Seeing my own father ram into some goddamn cheap, trashy w***e is just so sickening!”

“He’s just doing what you’re doing,” Spencer pointed out, handing the bottle over to Josh and wiping his mouth on his shirt-sleeve. “Except from that he’s the one paying, while you’re the one getting paid. Yeah, and the fact that he’s straight and doing it with women while you are 100 percent gay and doing it with desperate, sex-deprived old men.”

“Hey!” Chad exclaimed. “Not all of them are old! Many of them are young and damn hot, if I may say so myself!”

“That’s true,” Josh said, eyeing the rum-bottle in his hand wearily. It was moving. But that might just be his sight or his hand shaking, seeing as he was drunk and all. “I’ve seen some of those guys. The majority of them are super hot.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, stretching again. “I’m tired guys. It’s past three, and we have to get up for school early in the morning. And we’re all probably going to have some huge hangovers.”

“Let’s just finish drinking this one,” Josh said, waving the bottle in front of them, causing it to slosh over a bit. “Then we’ll go to bed.”

The two other’s agreed and they quickly finished the bottle. Once it was empty, they fell down in Josh’s huge bed, and fell asleep in a mass of sheets and limbs.
 

* / / * / / *

 

The three boys stood in the enormous kitchen the next morning, all having just taken aspirins to hopefully get them to feel a little better, when Josh’s mother walked in. She threw a disapproving glance at them, but didn’t say anything.

“Good morning, mrs. Graham,” Spencer greeted her friendly.

“Spencer,” she replied shortly and gave him a small nod. She didn’t even glance in the direction of the other two again as she poured herself some juice and then disappeared out into the living room.

Josh rolled his eyes as the door slammed closed. “B***h,” he mumbled under his breath.

Chad looked over at him. “Comfort yourself with the fact that she hates me more than she’ll ever hate you, for some reason totally unknown to me,” he said.

That was true. Josh and his mother had never gotten along, but Angelina Graham seemed to detest Chad more. If that was even possible. She didn’t seem to have anything against Spencer, on the other hand. Josh shook his head abruptly. He hated thinking about his mother. First of all he couldn’t stand her, she had never been there for him, and second of all, it hurt to think about her. Because he didn’t know why she had never been there. Why she seemed to hate him.

“So what are your plans for today?” He asked his two friends, changing the subject.

“I’m going to find a job, as I mentioned last night,” Spencer replied as he viewed the red apple, – that Josh had handed him from the refrigerator –, in his hand. He was sure he was going to throw up, but he needed to eat something, so he carefully took a bite and chewed it slowly.

“I was planning on going downtown to the bar,” Chad said with a wry grin. “I’m horny and in need for more money.”

“You have to be addicted to sex,” Josh commented with a small laugh. “You can never get enough, can you?”

“Nope,” Chad chuckled. “You know, sex is a form of exercising. I’ve never been any good at sports, but sex is something I really can perform. You think I’ll pass PE if I sleep with the coach?”

“Oh freaking God!” Spencer exclaimed. “I do not want to hear about you sex-addiction, who you’re planning to sleep with or your sex needs!”

“What? Your virgin ears can’t take it?” Chad leaned over and nudged him in the side.

“Shove it,” Spencer muttered, taking another bite of his apple.

“You’re so mean,” Chad said, mock pouting. “Saying such forceful things.”

“Oh, you poor baby,” Josh snickered, nudging Chad’s upper arm.

“If you’re meaning to be comforting, it isn’t that convincing,” Chad pouted.

“It wasn’t supposed to be convincing,” Josh shot back. “You’re such a drama queen sometimes.”

“I’m gay. I’m allowed too.”

“That’s so off the subject,” Josh snorted. “I’m gay too. And Spencer is as well. You don’t see the two of us making such a fuss.”

“Fuss?!” Chad exclaimed. “I’m not making any fuss. You two are the ones fussing because you don’t want to listen to me talking.”

“That’s because you’re talking a bunch of crap,” Josh said, suddenly grinning. “I mean, screwing the coach? Like you ever have a chance!”

“You don’t think I can seduce the coach?” Chad questioned, mock offended. “If I set my mind to it, I can get everyone in bed. Even you.” He gave Josh a wry grin. “And you too, dear.” He pointed at Spencer.

“In your wildest dreams,” the brunet huffed.

“Exactly,” Josh said, snickering. Then he reached his hand up and pushed the red-head. “Get away from me, you freak!” He said teasingly, making a face.

Chad just chuckled as he looked at his friend. “You know you love it. Stop denying it so much, sweetcakes.”

Josh rolled his eyes, but he was prevented from answering due Spencer speaking up; “We better hurry up,” the brunet said, looking up at the clock hanging above the door. “We’re late for school.”
 

* / / * / / *

 

The three friends were in all the same classes, and they had one free period in the middle of the school-day that they were now spending in the school cafeteria. Josh and Spencer were talking, but Chad wasn’t listening to them anymore. His focus was on something else entirely. For his green eyes had locked with a pair of grey ones belonging to Tim Rodgers’, who was on the school swim team and had an absolute amazing body. They sat on opposite ends of the cafeteria, but they didn’t have to say anything to each other; their eyes told the other exactly what they wanted and needed.

Tim Rodgers nodded slightly towards the door, and when Chad nodded back with a seductive grin, the other boy got up from his table and walked towards the exit door. He was hot, that guy, and his body was the only reason that Chad wanted to be with him a second time. And as soon as Tim Rodger’s back disappeared through the door, Chad got up on his feet as well.

“And where are you going?” Spencer spoke up next to him.

“Getting laid,” Chad smirked.

Josh raised one eyebrow. “You’re letting Tim Rodger’s do you again?” He asked. “Because I saw the looks you sent each other. And I also saw him leaving just now.”

“He was good,” Chad said, shrugging his shoulders. “There’s nothing bad in sleeping with someone a second time if they’re good at it.” And with that he turned and flounced out of the cafeteria.

“What a s**t,” Spencer said, shaking his head as he watched Chad’s back go through the door.

“It’s what he likes,” Josh said, chuckling. “He likes getting laid.”

“So do you,” Spencer pointed out. “But you don’t pick up someone in the bloody cafeteria.”

“No, I don’t,” Josh said, laughing. “But at least he’s feeling good about himself, huh?”

Spencer stared at him for a second, then shook his head again.
 

* / / * / / *

 

After school had ended that day Josh found himself sitting in the teacher’s lounge, staring rather interestingly at the back wall as he shut the teacher’s monitory voice out. As he’d stood up from his desk to leave after the last bell had rung, the teacher had told him to stay behind and come with him up to the lounge.

Josh knew perfectly well what the guy was nagging about. That he was failing almost all of his classes and that he was screwing his life up like this, by slacking and skipping school. He didn’t say it in quite such harsh words, but that was what he meant with it all.

And Josh knew perfectly well that his life already was totally screwed, and the only reason he was almost failing was because he was careful to keep his grade up so much that he would pass and be able to graduate. So he could get away from this town. He wasn’t dumb though, and if his life had been different, if he’d actually had the time and energy to do his homework, he’d be a really good student. And unfortunately, his teacher knew this. Which was why he was always nagging on Josh do to better, because he knew he could if Josh only tried and blah-blah-blah. Josh had heard it all before.

When that speech was over though, he always started playing wannabe shrink and asked Josh why he didn’t try and if he might have some personal problems. Josh never answered him. What could he answer, anyway? That his mother hated him and that his stepfather took great pleasure in using his body for his own enjoyment?

He would’ve been sent straight to a mental institution if he ever blurted out something like that. And the fact that his own mother had threatened to send him to one before, if he didn’t stop making troubles for her, didn’t exactly make it look all that promising for him.

“Hey, Slater, are you listening to me?!” The teacher’s annoyingly high voice ripped Josh out from his thoughts. He felt a little irritated because the man dared to break off his musings like that, but he counted slowly backwards from ten to zero inside his head to stop himself from snapping. He would only get a new lecture and possibly get in trouble if he did that, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Of course I am,” he ground out between clenched teeth. He didn’t have any idea what the man was talking about, though, but he wasn’t about to tell him that. One of the great joys of not listening when someone was talking to you, he thought sarcastically.

“Then I expect that you and one of your parents are coming here tomorrow after school for a parent-student-teacher conference.” The teacher looked at the blond with a frown. “You understand that? I will not hear any more excuses from you! This has been put off for far too long now, okay, Slater? If you don’t show tomorrow I’ll personally call your parents and get them to drag you down here. Understood?”

“Sure,” Josh spoke, shrugging lightly. “I’m going now.” He stood up from the chair he had been sitting on and started walking towards the exit door. Teachers were looking at him as he passed their respective desks, some of them he knew from the classes he had with them, some of them he hadn’t the faintest clue who was.

His thoughts kept him from paying attention to where he was walking, and as he opened the door he almost walked straight into another living, breathing human being. “Excuse me,” he said flatly as he slowly lifted his head, looking at the one he’d almost crashed with.

The boy, who was a student like Josh himself, looked up at him from under his long, black bangs, and their eyes met for a second. He had azure eyes, full of swirling emotions Josh couldn’t separate from each other. “It’s okay,” he muttered and then they were past each other.

The last thing Josh heard over his shoulder before he exited the room was another teacher saying in an annoyed tone; “That was on good time, Fielding. I was starting to think you might not show up today as well.”
 

* / / * / / *

 

As Chad came home from school he was met by a blonde, big-breasted bimbo in the doorway. She gave him a tight, fake smile as she slipped out, and he gave her a disgusted look in return.

Chad sighed as he slammed the door closed. He knew perfectly well what was meeting him now. And when he walked into the living room, he saw that he was right. His father was lying on the couch, dead-drunk, with empty beer- and vodka-bottles and both used and unused condoms scattered around him.

“Goddammit,” he cursed under his breath as he turned on his heels and strolled into his bedroom. He threw his bag to the floor and dropped down on his bed, running his hands over his face and staring up at the ceiling. He preferred coming home to this situation, he really did, even though he found it utterly detestable, because if his father had been awake he would only yell at him. Maybe he’d even throw him a few punches like he used to do when he was up and capable of it.

Chad sighed and sat up again. He needed a shower. Having sex in the school’s public restroom was exciting, but there weren’t exactly much space in a cubicle, so both his own and Tim Rodger’s bodily fluids had soaked into their clothes during their f*****g.

Then he was going to phone Josh and Spencer and hear what they were up to. Because he had satisfied his sexual desires for a while now, so he didn’t have to go downtown today. If Josh and Spencer were up to it, they could spend this nigh together, getting drunk.
 

* / / * / / *

 

The mansion was silent as Josh came home. But then it never used to swarm with life. It was only him, his mother and stepfather here anyway. And the maids from time to time when his mother needed them to do something.

Josh hurried to his bedroom, where he pushed the door open, kicked his shoes off and then turned around to close the door behind him. But as the door clicked shut, a couple of hands reached out from behind him and turned the lock. Josh shuddered. It felt like his blood was freezing over.

Those same arms soon wrapped around him and roamed greedily over his body. Josh wanted to cry, to scream, to beat that man’s goddamn skull out, but he bit his lip and stayed silent. It usually ended sooner if he didn’t resist him.

“It’s been so long since last time, Joshua,” his stepfather whispered against the younger boy’s ear as his hands started to unbutton his shirt. Long? Josh thought bitterly. It had only been three f*****g days since last time he’d been in here. “Be a good boy now, Joshua, and I’ll even reward you,” Andrew said in a voice hoarse by lust. “You will like that, won’t you?” Josh’s shirt was unbuttoned and now Andrew’s hands were stroking roughly over his stepson’s bare skin that was still slightly bruised from the last time.

Josh bit his lip hard, trying his damn best not to wince or make any sound. It f*****g hurt when he stroked his bruised body that hard! Couldn’t he for once be a bit gentle?!

Andrew’s hands went lower down and one hand grabbed the boy’s crotch. Josh couldn’t help but wince and gasp out in pain and surprise then. “You like this, don’t you?” Andrew purred against the naked skin in the niche of Josh’s neck.

No! I don’t like this at all! Josh screamed silently inside his head. Oh, how he wanted to utter it out loud, and maybe give his stepfather’s face contact with his fist at the same time. Josh didn’t hate sex, per se. Actually, he quite enjoyed it. With anyone else than this guy. He couldn’t stand being forced to do it with someone he loathed more than anything. Sex was pretty enjoyable if he was willing and it was done the right way, but Andrew was a goddamn sadist and loved to cause him pain. The more he screamed, cried, the more turned on that b*****d became. Josh absolutely hated Andrew’s hands on his body, his skin against his, Andrew’s c**k thrusting into him over and over, practically ripping him apart in the process. Nothing was gentle with this man. Nothing at all.

“You dirty boy.” Andrew started to slowly unbuckle the boy’s belt and unzip his pants. Josh just stood there, not doing a thing. If Andrew was going to rape him, he wasn’t going to help him make it easier. He was going to do all the job, Josh wasn’t lifting a f*****g finger. After all, Andrew was the one forcing him.
 

* / / * / / *

 

After Andrew had finished with him, Josh had taken a long, hot, steaming shower, and by the time he’d finished with that, his mother had come home. He knew he had to talk to her about the whole student-parent-teacher conference s**t, and he decided it was better to do it now than delaying it. First of all, he’d most likely just forget it then. Second, his mother tended to be in a better mood right after she came home.

“Mom,” he said hesitantly as he stood in the doorway to her study, where she was putting down some case-files on her desk.

She looked up at him. “Yes?” She snapped.

“You have to come with me to this parent-student-teacher conference tomorrow after school,” he said.

Her eyebrows restricted. “What have you done now?!”

“Who says I’ve done anything?!” Josh exclaimed.

“I don’t have to go to such meetings unless you have,” she replied in a cold tone. “So what is it this time, huh? You haven’t been to school? You’re not doing your school work? You’re failing your classes? You better not be failing, because as soon as you’ve graduated you’re out of here. I’m not taking care of you any longer than I have to.”

Josh clenched his teeth together, fighting back the tears. “I guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to hear what it is,” he snapped. “So you can hear directly from the teacher how useless I am.” And with that he turned and hurried away before he could hear her answer. He didn’t think he could take hearing her answer at that moment.

He barged into his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him and sliding down it to sit on the floor. A few treacherous tears trickled down his cheeks and he angrily wiped them away.

“F*****g b***h,” he muttered to himself, again wiping away new falling tears. Then he crawled over to his bedside table and opened the drawer, pulling out his beloved razor. He sat down on the floor again, with his back against his bed and rolled up his shirt-sleeve.

He stared at his scarred skin for a few moment and then brought the razor to it. But he didn’t manage to make any new cuts, because his cell phone went off in that moment, startling him.

“Hello?” He snapped into the receiver as he brought it to his ear.

“What are you up to?” Chad asked from the other end without greeting him back.

Josh stared down at the razor in his hand. “Nothing,” he told him.

“Then do you wanna go out drinking?”

Did Chad even have to ask that? Josh wondered with himself before he spoke out loud, “Hell yes.” When did he ever say no to go out drinking? Alcohol helped keep him sane, helped him forget some of the s**t.

“Awesome,” Chad said. “I have already talked to Spencer. He’s free as well. So you just bring some bottles from your stash under your bed and come downtown. We’re meeting at Obsession, so don’t forget your fake-ID either.”

“How can I ever forget that?” Josh questioned with a small laugh. He, Chad and Spencer had had fake ID’s for a little over two years now, giving them access to all the clubs and bars downtown, and they’d never been busted before. “I’ll meet you down there in half an hour, then,” he said and hung up.

He looked down at the razor again, still feeling the need to cut, but instead he reached up and put it back in his bedside table drawer. “Till next time,” he whispered and rested his forehead against the edge of the table for a few moments, before he reached under the bed and grabbed three bottles on random.

He always had a stash with alcohol there, and Chad and Spencer were the only ones knowing about it. Not even the maids that cleaned the whole mansion knew about it, because his mother had told them to leave his room alone. He had to clean it himself. And he was actually grateful for that. He had stuff here he didn’t want anyone else finding. Such as his alcohol stash.
 

* / / * / / *

 

“I’m going now, Harriet,” Damian Fielding said silently, lifting up his school bag and lifting the strap over his head and laying it to rest on his shoulder.

“Wait a minute,” his boss called from the back room. A moment later she emerged through the door, holding a bag in her hand. “Here, I made some food for you. You really need to eat, my boy, you almost look unhealthy.”

Damian managed a faint smile as he took the bag she offered him. “Thank you,” he said, and then turned to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gave her a faint smile and slipped out of the door. As he stepped out on the street he heard Harriet lock the door behind him. He looked up at the sign over the door, Harriet’s Diner, and then he slowly started trudging down the street.

He’d been working for Harriet for a few months now. He remembered the little talk he’d had with her the day he’d asked for a job. She’d just asked him a few questions about himself and then hired him on the spot. When he’d blinked at her confused, and asked why, she’d just simply said that he needed a job and she needed a worker, and that he seemed like an alright kid.

The next couple of weeks when he’d been under training, he’d also slightly gotten to know the other teen who was working there, Lesley Troy. They weren’t friends, not at all, but they tolerated each other. They even greeted each other in the hallways at school sometimes.

He’d come to understand that Lesley had a hard private life, just as he himself had, and that Harriet had seen that in both boys and therefore hired them. And of course because they seemed like good workers. She was a weird woman, but very nice. She’d given them a chance, and they hadn’t let her down.

Damian held the bag tight to his chest as he crossed the street and walked into the park. He went over to his usual bench that was placed in the far end of the park, under a big tree, where it was almost totally hidden in darkness.

The bag was now sitting on his thighs, and he viewed it suspiciously. Not that he didn’t trust Harriet and her food, because the woman was a really good cook and he loved her food, but he wasn’t sure if he should be eating it. If he first started eating, he couldn’t stop until it was all empty and then he had to throw it all up again.

As he continued to sit there, just staring at the bag in his lap, a breeze suddenly blew past him and he shivered. It was chilly, and he almost regretted not grabbing a jacket as he left for school that same morning.

He didn’t want to go home quite yet though. He didn’t want to see his uncle’s and aunt’s concerned faces. He didn’t want them to worry for him. They were too nice to him… He didn’t want them to be nice. Because he didn’t deserve it. He was always causing them problems, without really meaning to, always making them worry.

They were worried because he didn’t have any friends, because he kept to himself. They were worried because he always seemed to end up in fights with those stupid bullies.

He knew perfectly well that he also made them worry when he didn’t come home, but sometimes he just had to stay away. He just couldn’t stand to see their faces. Even though they had always treated him as their own child, he felt like an outsider. He was an outsider.

Damian turned his head slightly as he heard footsteps and three people talking coming in the general direction of where he was sitting. He couldn’t see them clearly at first, but when they walked right under a street lamp, the golden light shone down on them so he could observe them.

It was three boys his own age. One blond, one brunet and one red-head. They were familiar and he remembered having seen them around school. They always hung together, the three of them.

He didn’t want to listen in on their conversation or anything, but he also didn’t want to move from where he was sitting, so ended up hearing every word they said and seeing everything they did.
 

* / / * / / *

Josh tripped on the gravel he was walking on and fell to the side, down on the grass. He groaned in pain as he rolled over on his back and sat up. His head was spinning out of control.

“Someone’s awfully drunk,” Spencer commented, looking down at his blond friend.

“I’m not that drunk,” Josh defended himself, then put his hand up to the red-head. “Give me the bottle.”

Chad handed it to him and Josh took a big gulp from it. The red-head exchanged a look with Spencer. Josh had been acting different all night, not like his usual cheery self, and they knew something must’ve happened.

“Are you okay, Josh?” Spencer asked.

“Oh, I’m just bloody wonderful.” Josh snorted sarcastically and took another sip from the bottle. “My mother hates me and my stepfather likes to f**k me. Who could ask for a better life?”

The two standing teens exchanged looks again. They had expected this to be what happened. It was always this when Josh felt down. Both of them knew what Josh’s stepfather was doing to him, but Josh had begged them not to say anything to anyone years before, and they’d kept their promise. Besides, there weren’t really anyone to tell. No one would believe them anyway.

“You’re plastered, love,” Chad said, bending down and snagging the bottle from Josh’s hand. And when Josh reached his hand out to try and snag it back, Chad grabbed his hand and put it around his shoulders, helping his friend up on feet again.

Josh groaned as his head started spinning even more out of control and he yanked his hand away from Chad’s shoulders only second before he again found himself on the ground, this time on his knees, throwing up the little he’d eaten today in the bushes.

“Oh man,” Chad said, taking a sip from the bottle as he watched his friend’s trembling back. “That is disgusting.”

“Oh, shut up,” Josh snapped, spitting on the ground. He hated throwing up, especially when he wasn’t even home and could just lie down in his bed, wanting to die. And now he had a really disgusting taste in his mouth and he couldn’t even brush his teeth.

“Maybe you should go home, Josh,” Spencer suggested.

“Don’t wanna,” the blond muttered, wiping his mouth with his shirt-sleeve.

“We could spend the night at my place,” Chad spoke up. “Dad was lying dead-drunk on the couch when I left, so I highly doubt he’ll be waking up before tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, we could do that,” Josh said, spitting again. Damn, he really detested this taste. “Give me the bottle,” he demanded.

“Don’t you think you’ve drunk enough?” Chad said, raising his eyebrows.

“I just have to get rid of this disgusting taste. So give it to me.”

Chad handed him the bottle, albeit a bit reluctantly, and Josh brought it forcefully to his lips. His whole body froze in the next second though, as he met a pair of azure eyes a couple few meters away. He stared at the boy sitting on the bench, and Damian stared back at the blond with equal surprise.

They both realized pretty quickly that they’d seen each other before. Not just briefly in school, but that they’d seen each other earlier that day, in the teacher’s lounge…

It’s him, they thought at the same time. The one I walked into.

Josh lowered the bottle as he gazed into those mesmerizing blue eyes, and for a brief moment he’d forgotten everything else. That was until Chad yanked the bottle out of his hand. “Hey, give it back!” He exclaimed.

“Forget it,” Chad said. “You’ve had way too much to drink. Remember that we have school tomorrow.”

“Since when did you ever start thinking like that?” Josh questioned grumpily. Then he held his hand out to Spencer. “Help me up.”

Spencer took it and helped the blond up on his feet, steadying him as Josh staggered dangerously. “Are you even able to walk on yourself?” He asked, very much suspecting that his friend wasn’t.

“No.” Josh gave him a faint, sheepish smile.

“Exactly what I thought,” Spencer said dryly, sliding one of Josh’s hands over his shoulders. “And don’t throw up on me, please.”

“Wasn’t really planning on it, no,” was Josh’s just as dry reply.

“Lets go then,” Chad said, stepping up next to them, taking a small sip from the bottle. “I’m tired. We were up way to long last night.”

As they started walking, Josh cast one last look at the boy on the bench. He wondered what he was doing sitting here in the park alone at night, but he knew he probably never would get to know the answer to that. Besides, he actually liked looking at him. The boy was good-looking with his messy black hair, azure eyes lined with black eyeliner and snakebites.

Josh reached up with his free hand and felt over his own snakebites. They had the exact same, he and that boy. They both had rings. Both Chad and Spencer had lip piercings as well, but they had only on one side. They had actually taken them together half a year ago, at some tattoo and piercing parlour downtown.

Damian met the blond’s green eyes for a brief moment, but soon looked away. He didn’t particularly like making eye-contact with people, it made him edgy. He heard the three boys starting to walk away, and he looked after their backs.

Then, when they were out of sight, he opened the bag and started eating the food Harriet had prepared for him. She was a good cook, and he really enjoyed her food. But he knew that when the bag was empty, he’d be on his knees, just like the blond had been not more than ten minutes earlier, throwing it all up again in the bushes surrounding the park.

Reviews

[MadImagination]

Omg I read this years ago and I absolutely loved it! Only one problem....... Where's the rest of it!? When I read it the first time It was much longer. I must read the rest of it! Please let me know where I can read the rest!

Loved this so much. Excellent story.

[MadImagination]

Omg I read this story years ago and I absolutely loved it. And I still love it! But....one question. Where's the rest of it?? When I read it before it was much longer. I'd love to read the rest. Help me out here! Excellent story line. Please let me know where I can read the rest of it!! Must read it!

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Amund sent me this piece,
great scenario,
the explicitness of the other two boys is kind of in a grotesque way funny,
anyhoot, great write! ---mishel

[Micah]

Oh my god... I love this story SOOOOO much! I have to say, I can really relate to on of the boys but I dont think I'm gonna say who...

[Amund Schofield]

Jesus, Mother Mary, Joseph and the camel. These boys are so delicously fractured. You my dear have quite a way with the depression story. I love it, absoloutely love it. I am also sending this to a few friends of mine so they can read it.