Cold as ice

Cold as ice

A Story by Kittywhiskers

She cried herself to sleep again, like so many nights before.  She had thought about him while she fell asleep, and though she didn't dream about him, she woke with tears in her eyes thinking about him once more.  She missed the smell of his cologne. She missed the way he used to hold her and how they used to talk.  She missed being able to sense his mood, even when they weren't talking in person.  Now if, and when they talked, it was like talking to a piece of wood.  She knew it was her fault.  It was her fault that he was cold to her now.  She knew it was her who had ruined everything.  

© 2015 Kittywhiskers


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i liked it but the second sentence was awkward to read. i think it has to do with when you said again, again. it might be better if you change it up.maybe something like this...

"She cried herself to sleep again, like so many nights before. She had thought about him while she fell asleep, and though she didn't dream about him, she woke with tears in her eyes thinking about him ONCE MORE."

just so you aren't using the the same word too often. because it can end up sounding clunky.
other than that i really like what you wrote, it reflects things that i have gone through.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

i liked it but the second sentence was awkward to read. i think it has to do with when you said again, again. it might be better if you change it up.maybe something like this...

"She cried herself to sleep again, like so many nights before. She had thought about him while she fell asleep, and though she didn't dream about him, she woke with tears in her eyes thinking about him ONCE MORE."

just so you aren't using the the same word too often. because it can end up sounding clunky.
other than that i really like what you wrote, it reflects things that i have gone through.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on January 1, 2015
Last Updated on January 1, 2015