I'm in too Deep

Why does love always have to bite me in the a*s....

The word "Love" is a very odd word, which sends me astray in the world. I am shy, somewhat of a nerd, and very naive to this perplexing word in particular.

Roughly, this is the way love sounds to me: If a girl likes a boy, and just so happens to be walking beside him, she can remain silent, or she can reach down and hold his hand. If the boy likes this girl back, he will tighten his grip around her slender palm-- thus, she is instantly under his control-- and he is able to take her anywhere he wants.

 

Love won't always work that way in the real world.

 

If the boy doesn't have any feelings for the girl, or is thoroughly confused, he will impulsively pull his hand away and ask the girl what the hell she's doing.

Sadly for me, I have ignorantly treaded into the unforgiving land of "Love". In a figurative sense, I have already become that girl-- except the boy didn't jerk his hand away so much as he did stare down at our gripping hands and feel awkward the whole way down the slippery slope of Love.

Now, being a girl, I have to tell every single living creature under the sun that I have a "Boyfriend". (actually, I said we were just friends, but then more than friends since we couldn't go out.... don't ask why....) That's actually very bad, if you ask any adult who's wise enough to know "Love". Being that there are too many people I trust, there are too many I don't know not to trust. Furthermore, I was making it increasingly obvious that I liked him….

 

A few of my friends bug the holy crap out of the boy and our relationship becomes intensely awkward and just down right sad.... I tell them to stop, but, since I'd be laughing from embarrassment, they wouldn't take me seriously. He already feels awkward around me to the point where he wants to avoid me; why soil our friendship even more with the obnoxious voices poking and teasing words that highlight the feelings I have for him??

 

No fair. Why does the world suddenly turn on me the moment I expect things to be happier? Maybe it was better for me to keep my feelings for him to myself? I should have listened to those words of wisdom that I have heard countless times: “Don't go after the boys, let the boys come to you.”

 

I'm in too deep....