Niall`s surprise - a One Direction Imagine

:) enjoy

its Christmas eve, there you are standing in the kitchen mixing up the chocolate chip cookie dough. Niall is sitting at the table updating twitter like he does. "Niall, will you go to the coffee shop and get me a candy cane hot chocolate?" he looks at you with his beautiful blue eyes. "sure turtle! ill be right back with that" he kisses your cheek and steals a spoon full of cookie dough before he leaves. "typical." so you finish making the cookies, and you sit there on the couch and wait for Niall to come home, its been about 40 minutes now and your getting worried, so you decide to call his cell. it rings but he doesn't pick up. so you curl up on the couch and just think to yourself  "it's Niall! he probably went and got some food." you laugh to yourself.  and before you knew it you were asleep on the couch. you woke up, "how long was i sleeping for!?" you look at the clock and you see its 9:15! "Niall? are you home?" nobody answers. "figures, where is he?!" you feel tears well up in your eyes, your getting scared. you sit at the table and you check your phone. then you get a text from Niall saying "oh! your awake. well come out to the back deck silly! <3"  you run outside with no shoes on or anything! Niall is waiting for you in the gazebo. its beautifully lit up and the song 'i wont give up' by Jason mraz is playing in the background. Niall grabs your hand. "may i have this dance?"  you start dancing, you whisper to him " you scared me you know.." he looks right into your eyes and says, " i know hunny, i know" and kisses you. 

Reviews

[Jen Yarrington]

I can't resist a story about Niall Horan or the 1D boys! My daughters and I are huge fans! If you're open to suggestions, first of all, I would separate thoughts and actions by paragraphs. I know the "Imagine" stories are usually short, but you could flesh out each segment a little bit more. How was the main character feeling when she couldn't get in touch with Niall? What were her physical reactions to her fear? Did she feel sick to her stomach, panicked, short of breath? Was she worried that he had an accident or ran off with another girl? I wrote a Niall Horan fanfiction for my daughter's 15th birthday, so you must be about the same age. She already read it, but now I'm re-writing the whole story, adding more detail and trying to make it more realistic. I would love it if you would stop by to read Chapter 1. :)

[V. Smith]

good use of 2nd person. a bit cloying for my tastes, maybe cause I didn't get to know the characters very much.