"It's Not You, It's Me.."

"It's not you. It's me." Those are words of a cowardly breakup. But what happens when it's real?

 

Gina was madly in love. The man of her dreams was perfect in all ways. He was tall and masculine, with perfect teeth. Well, almost perfect teeth. There was an endearing chip in his front tooth, but Gina only thought that that made her boyfriend more…real. Else he would be a god and it would be nothing but a dream.

 

Yes. That was it. She was a plain mousy little woman with average looks, and she really could never understand how she ended up in a relationship with one of the widely sought after bachelors. Jerome proved to be the perfect combination of a gentleman and a bad boy, charming with his dashing grin and dancing playful eyes. And the best thing? They were so into each other, that they were inseparable.

 

So why was such a scenario was happening?

 

“Jerome. Let’s break up.” It wasn’t even a question. It was a statement. There was no room for arguments. The little lady did not look up at him, instead staring at her pale hands which were trembling slightly.

 

“Babe? What are you talking about? Is something wrong? Did I do anything to get you mad? I’m sorry if I did, love.” A look of astonishment overcame his face and he reached out to take her hands. He never got to, she pulled her hands away with a shake of her head.

 

She didn’t let him finish, standing up from their favourite café, the location where they had their first date and leaving. “It’s not you. It’s me.” And then she left his life.

 

Jerome could not understand what he had done wrong. He never cheated, he didn’t flirt with any ladies, he was as devoted as it goes. What was wrong? Stabbing maliciously at her chocolate cake that he had ordered, the man slipped into a slump, trying to reflect upon his deeds.

 

Did he forget her birthday? Their anniversary? Or something special?

 

But as he thought on, he realized that he could not bring up anything. “It’s not you, it’s me… How do you expect me to believe that when you just told me you love me yesterday?” By the time he left the café, the cake was a mess of brown, but completely uneaten.

 

It was an awkward breakup, for their single parents lived next to each other. Gina’s mother had moved in several years back and Rita, Jerome’s mother had gone over with a freshly baked apple pie to greet her new neighbour. The two women had then realized that they had several similarities and had sat down over a pot of Earl Grey to converse for the entire afternoon.

 

They had then realized that their children, both single always came over for the weekend and thus began a plot to get them together, like mothers do when their single kids had been single for far too long. It was the perfect scenario; the two were the perfect couple. They were made for each other, complemented each other.

 

But if that was bad, it was worse where the two stayed.  Jerome and Gina practically lived at each other’s doorsteps, a decision made after they got together, wanting to spend more time, but not to cohabit yet.

 

Gina always had this rule �" No man allowed to stay over. She had the silliest dream, the dream of being a virgin bride. And Jerome respected that decision. Despite his playful nature, he locked his lust aside and concentrated on the love. Not that the two didn’t play or tease. They simply never went all the way in their three years long relationship.

 

To be honest, Jerome was finding it rather hard to control himself. How was a man to control his sexual arousal for a woman who tempted him at every move? Her lightly scented body foam, that fruity shampoo, those sensual curves. Was it why Gina had decided to leave him? Berating his lust, Jerome trudged home with his fists clenched shut. That was when he saw a man disappearing into Gina’s house, arms around his ex-girlfriend.

 

In a rage, he stomped into his own house, slamming the door shut. The walls shook and paintings fell, but nothing seemed to release his anger. He contemplated charging over, demanding an explanation as to why Gina had made a cuckold out of him, he contemplated quitting his job and travelling overseas, he contemplated leaving the country forever.

 

He watched Gina’s door for the entire night, waiting to see if the man left at all.

 

He didn’t.

 

Why? That was the question that endlessly ran through his mind for the entire weekend, the man having locked himself at home.

 

When he emerged from his house on Monday, the man had dark eye bags and sunken skin, effects of not sleeping and eating for the past two days.

 

That was how much he loved her. The ring that he had bought now sat stowed away in the back of his drawer by the bedside, a reminder of how he had attempted to gather courage to propose.

 

He will never get to do it now.

 

His colleague, Santana had showed him the deepest concern, fussing over his pale complexion when he first arrived and preparing him a mug of hot cocoa. She then next proceeded to do what Gina had always done for him, massaging his temples. At first, Jerome relaxed into the touch, but a split second later, he pulled away, realizing that the hands that touched him were not the hands of his love.

 

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.” He grunted, pushing her away lightly and turning his chair back to the table, concentrating on the laptop screen. However, his staring did not seem to put any of the words into his mind and he snapped a pencil with a frustrated growl. In the end, he retired home early, his excuse being a terrible headache, which was partly true anyway.

 

That may conceivably be one of the worse mistakes he made. As he climbed up the streets, he spotted Gina with the same man again. This time, the man had her in an embrace, carrying her bridal style. She laid her head upon his chest, dozing fitfully and that peaceful look Jerome always enjoyed staring at was right there. So close, yet so far.

 

If you see me walking down the streets, staring at the sky, dragging my two feet.. You just passed me by, it still makes me cry but you can make me whole again. If you see me with another man, laughing and joking, doing what I can, I won’t put you down, ‘cause I want you around… You can make me whole again..

 

Rita sat upon the couch of his sitting room, looking as stern as she was when he was discovered playing truant from school. “Jerome. You didn’t come b-what happened to you?!” What that started out as a berate soon became a cry of concern as the mother rushed to his side at the pale face of his, wrapping a comforting arm around the man. Carefully, she leads him to the washroom, running the cool water across his bleeding knuckles and cautiously plucked out the splinters.

 

“She broke up with me, Mother. She has another man.”

 

“…Oh Jerome… Why are you so foolish to hurt yourself..”

 

“Mother! Did you not hear what I said?! She has another man! All this time I thought that she wanted to remain chaste for our wedding night, she has a man staying in her house!”

 

This time, Rita kept silent, rubbing circles into his back. It was no wonder Jerome reacted like such, since Gina was the first ever woman that her son had loved and trusted so much. The one woman he believed wouldn’t ever hurt him.

 

Why had Gina done that? Did her mother know about it?

 

Biting his lips hard enough to bleed, he rummages through the drawer, grabbing the velvet box and hurling it to the ground. “I was going to propose. I was going to propose!”

 

When Rita left the house that night, she took the box with her, determined to get answers. Try as she may, luck wasn’t on her side. No matter how hard or long she knocked at Gina’s door, no one opened. Not giving up, she heads straight for her friend’s house. Gina’s mother might have answers to what she sought.

 

And answers she had, just not answers she wanted. Packing up her bags, she spent the next few days at Jerome’s house, the words that Sasha, Gina’s mother, said resounding in her head over and over again. Rita sighed softly as she prepared dinner for Jerome, wondering why such a thing had to happen to a lovely couple. Nevertheless, she had her son to worry about and it wasn’t easy with a stubborn mule like him.

 

“Gina?”

 

“Yes, Mother?”

 

“Rita came by…. And she asked about Alan..”

 

“…What did you tell her, Mother?”

 

“The truth.. I called you to tell you that I told her the truth.”

 

“…Mother…” She sighed softly as she cradled the phone, said man holding her tight. “Thanks…”

 

A month passed and Jerome was finally looking slightly better. Taking the chance that he was on the road to recovery, Rita pulled him aside one day and discussed something with him over fruits. “Say Jerome, don’t you have this colleague? The sweet girl? The one who made you soup?”

 

“You mean Santana? Why?”

 

“Well.. I think she has a crush on you.”

 

“W-what? Mother…”

 

“Don’t mother me! You’ve spent long enough pining. It’s time to move on. Santana’s a sweet girl, why don’t you just give her a try?”

 

“Mother. I’m not ready for this.”

 

“Then when will you be ready? If you don’t step out of this moping, you never will!”

 

He shook his head and excused himself from the house, taking a walk down the streets as he tried to clear his mind. Yes, he had started eating and sleeping in a more normal routine, but that did not mean that his heart stopped feeling that twang of pain whenever he looked towards Gina’s house, nor did it stop hurting when he thought of her.

 

There was no doubting it. He still loved her.

 

Tonight he glanced over to her house, the lights still off. Knowing that she had yet to return home with that man, he sat at a hidden curb, watching for any signs of her. Sure enough, the couple came walking up the streets within half hour’s time, Alan’s arms wrapped around Gina’s slender waist as usual.

 

Gina’s attire was very much different from her past, the dresses shed away for the current outfits. That night, she had on a beanie; something she had always hated because she claimed that it wreaked her hair. And as Jerome watched Gina rest her head upon the other man’s shoulder, his heart broke once more. Crushed, he returned home, giving his mother a nod.

 

He will try.

 

“How’s Alan treating you?”

 

“Perfectly fine, Mother. You worry too much. Alan’s been a perfect gentleman.”

 

“Of course! He’s your cousin! If he doesn’t treat you with care, I shall wallop him!”

 

The first of their many dates was at a quaint little French restaurant, a Saturday night so that Santana could prepare herself for the date. Her dark locks cascaded down her back and her sapphire gleamed and shone with excitement. Her tanned cheeks were lightly blushed as she giggled to a joke he made, lashes fluttering whenever he leaned close.

 

“Mother. What are you doing?” She frowns, pulling up the blankets as she tried to hide from the camera that her mother directed at her.

 

“Recording your fight with cancer, of course. When you’re done with it, you can watch yourself and think about how strong you were.”

 

“…I’m not strong, Mother.. And you don’t know if I’ll make it through..”

 

“Nonsense! No cancer is going to take my daughter away!”

 

Two months after the first date, he chuckles as the lady on his arm giggled away, hugging the plush toy tight to her chest. “Thank you, Jerome.” Tiptoeing, Santana plants a shy kiss upon his lips, snuggling into his body warmth straight after. The two then continued on their round in the theme park, playing games and having fun. And of course, that heated night and tousle in bed.

 

“How are you, Gina?”

 

“Not better..”

 

“Is Alan not keeping you well?”

 

“No, Mother. Alan’s great. He’s been taking great care of me, way more care than a cousin should have to. You have to thank him, Mother. He’s doing this out of the kindness of his heart, he gets nothing from this.”

 

“I know, Gina.. I know… But it breaks my heart to see you like this… Don’t you…Don’t you miss Jerome?”

 

“…I miss him like hell, Mother. He’s my light, my life, my everything..”

 

“Why don’t you just te-“

 

“No, Mother! He must not know. I want him to remember me as the woman he loved. Not this…this corpse.”

 

“He can take care of you, Gina… Why are you so stubborn?”

 

“Alan is taking care of me.”

 

“Alan is just your cousin. He cannot offer you the love and comfort you need. Love and comfort that Jerome can give you!”

 

“I’m tired, Mother.. I have to rest..”

 

“Gina!”

 

Six months after his break up, Jerome finally brought his new girlfriend to his mother’s house, as an official introduction, smiling from cheek to cheek despite being exhausted. The girl was sweetly dressed, the portrayal of a virtuous lady. Rita on the other hand was adorned entirely in black, getting ready to leave the house.

 

“Mother? Where are you going?”

 

“A funeral, my dear..”

 

“Whose?”

 

“A friend’s daughter..”

 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

 

“…No.. There’s no need. Get some rest, Jerome… You look tired.. You can spend time with Santana.. Show her the gardens..”

 

“..Alright then..”

 

The deceased girl wore a wig in her coffin, a velvet box rested beside her cheek. Dressed in the kind of dresses she loved she much, she held in her hands, a photo frame of a happy couple; the wood carved with the words, “Jerome and Gina, forever”

 

Her last words were… “I’ll always love you, Jerome.. Jerome and Gina, forever…"

Reviews

[Jasmine Thousand]

I like it... but it's so sad! :'(
~Jasmine Thousand~