intro i suppose

 

Music is life for most but for me it’s all I have. I live as a young girl with no care for anything other than music. I sing my heart out for no others to hear and I suppose this is my story. I am Amber, a sixteen year old junior in high school. My grades are above average but I am no genius. I’m a weird girl who can’t keep a relationship past two months, well it hasn’t happened yet anyway. I plan on going to college and owning my own restaurant. I can cook pretty well I just lack the motivation to. My family calls me lazy but I disagree. I’m more of a thinker not a do-er. I don’t fit in with my family only my little brother Jay. We are a lot alike. When we were little we were like twins even though I’m a year older. We dress the same style and listen to the same music give or take a few bands. My older brother is deaf and I’m learning how to sign to him so we can communicate. My dad works all the time so I hardly have a relationship with him. My mom and I are pretty close but complete opposites. I have a cat I named angel just because he is the opposite of one. It’s also a reminder of how I used to be, innocent, without a care, loved by all. Then I turned thirteen. My parents became a little more distant. I don’t know whether it was because I was becoming a woman or because I was a teenager. Either way my relationship with them was never the same. My little brother and I grew closer and it was like it was us against the world, most of the time it was. No one accepted us and I suppose that’s all I really wanted. But with the way I am now I hardly doubt anyone will. My random colored hair and I am not pretty or beautiful like other girls. I am different and never will me what people define as normal. I will always be different and I’m somewhat proud of it. I wonder if my parents will ever accept me, probably not. I know one day someone will accept me for me, hopefully anyway. I can’t see the future. It would be interesting if I could. I would be able to see if he lives or not. I could see whether I’ll be his or not. I would see who is my special someone if I even have one. I wonder what I’ll be like when I’m older, still an outcast or finally fitting in? Have a family or be alone? Be happy or remain miserable? My life’s questions could be answered with one little power, but as I know all to well dreams don’t come true. When I was little I never wished on my birthday candles because I already knew it wouldn’t come true so why waste my breath.  My dreams or wished never came true anyway. As a lid I suppose I was naive now I realize what a fool I’ve been. I hope to never go there again, back to those bright days of complete chaos and happiness that was imaginary. I face the world I different person and it’s all thanks to my music that I opened my eyes to all the lies and deceit around me. I found out the truth and because of that music is my life. I couldn’t live without it and still can’t live without it. Without my music I am alone and with my music I am with somebody that truly understands me and accepts me. I guess you could say music is the patch or stitch for the hole that is in my soul. Music has saved me from many things and it will always be in my heart.