Daylight Daydreams

It's a sort of trance 

like water flowing from a bottle 

into an empty glass

spirit so big; 

but your mind so weak

I get you

I get you

just keep coming 

in and out 

in and out 

of those same old doors 

trapped in your little shell

pretty little shell

that's ok

ill see your face on the other side 

don’t try to wrap your brain around mine 

keep choking on those 

materials 

he buys for you

keep looking up 

at those 

courage clouds 

so far out of your reach

I think I saw your dreams           over there 

washed up on that beach. 

Reviews

[Johnny]

bravo kirsty!! please read my poem titled Beatrice?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh this is striking in its imagery and force..as it strikes the new love who will eventually go through the same disappointment as the speaker...

well expressed,

j.

[Kirsty Woodward]

Thanks for commenting, Jacob.

[Hailey Juliet]

I love this poem! Seriously amazing:) I really liked the repetition:

I get you
I get you

in and out
in and out

Almost hypnotic and trance-like, this poem had a very calming effect for me. It subdued me and allowed me to relax and let my imagination flow.

The effect of this line was amazing:

so far out of your reach

I actually did not notice it the first read through as my eye was drawn to the left and did not notice it, so far out of reach, on the right side of the page. The effect was perfect. Same with the ending lines as they almost represented somebody drifting off, and wandering away finding dreams on a beach and calling back to the reader. Such a beautiful effect.

This has become a new favorite of mine, certainly one i will want to re-read again sometime! Thanks for posting this:)

[Kirsty Woodward]

Truly appreciated, Hailey. Thank you.

[LastMonth]

This is painful.
And personal.
There's a very serious, if somewhat quiet and gentle accusation going on here.
I don't see anger, or hate. I really just see frustration stemming from caring for someone who does not seem to care for themselves.

Perhaps I've taken this too literally but it seems to me as though the writer, or character is having a hard time coping with a self destructive friend or family member.

Overall, good, thought invoking and impactful.