The Train Home

There’s a time 

Just once in a while 

Intoxicated,

Listening to you

Your lips are moving 

But I don’t hear what you’re saying 

For my heart is racing 

And I’m not sure I can let go. 

It’s been a while 

Since I’ve thought of you

Yes, 

We’ve both moved on

And I no longer love you

Especially, 

Not like I used to. 

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Well, a good, concise and to-the-point poem. You have said a lot in few words. Your ex's lips are set in motion, but your ears cannot tell you what he is saying. Then, the second stanza, where you describe how you have moved on, and how he has moved on. All of it deserves commendation.
well-written. Keep writing.

[alanwgraham]

I really like this. It communicates these very strong emotions directly and well. The word intoxicated perfectly describes that feeling of being in love.
Well done.
Alan

[Davidgeo]

Sounds like he was boring anyway.

[shepard]

well done. Fantastic use of the ampersand to tie the lines together between the stanzas.

The entire first stanza is elegant and perfect... I'm intoxicated,caught off guard, turned on, and terrified in the span of a few seconds...

love it... great writing

Thanks for sharing!

[Kirsty Woodward]

Thank you. Glad you liked.

[Desert Rose]

love the contradiction between the first part & the second one,
it seems like both the beginning & the ending of a relationship are somewhat the same..

beautiful Kirsty!! well done!

[Kirsty Woodward]

I'm glad you noticed this. Thanks Neo!

[Desert Rose]

anytime :)