Tired of the wind

“I’ve always wanted more than anything to lie in the grass
facing up at the blue sky and white clouds and perfect sun
it’s always been so perfect in my head and I know it would be
if I could only avoid the f*****g ants or the f*****g wet
or the gnats in my face or the stupid f*****g mud
if only my skin could not be irritated by prickly blades
but that’s what the grass is

maybe a chair would be nicer than sitting bare on the blades
because then I wouldn’t be so bothered
but that isn’t the authenticity I want
I can’t get the sincerity of the grass if I’m not on the grass
what would they think of me if they knew I didn’t do it all right

the f*****g wind blows my paper around anyway
I’m tired of the wind”