Lost Light

A little something I wrote to pass the time.

One emotion dies

Another emotion lives

The circumstance changes

The forgotten come back to life

The once friends fade away into dark

The heart beats harder, trying to remember

The mind cries for those who once were known

 

Where is the light that always shown brightly?

Why has the once, real smile, been forgotten?

What happened to the friend that never gave up?

Why are his eyes filled with a blank nothingness?

Where is the one who went out of his way for those he cared for?

Who is this new person that bares the same face as him?

He who was once bright, is now dark and lost

 

One emotion dies

Another emotion lives

The chances spread out

The remembered, fade away

The forgotten lay in waiting for release

The heart beats faster, harder, anticipation spreads

Silent tears fall down to the ground

 

Where is the once loving girl that never cried?

What happened to the brightly shining emotions in her eyes?

Why does she not carry the bright smile anymore?

Where are the loving hands that would cheer people up?

What happened to the embracing light that helped the weak?

Who is this imposter in her clothes, wearing her face?

She does not wear the warm smile, or shine brightly anymore

 

One emotion dies

Another emotion lives

One person is forgotten

Another lives in their place

The bright emotion that lights

Is now dark, and corruptive

Author's Note

Okay, tell me what you REALLY think of it, and not some fake review either.

Reviews

[cfix]

I can feel this emotions through out this write. I really like the last stanza the most, I guess because it sticks out the most and I feel more pain in it. This is a very well written piece.

[Euphoric Sin]

This poem... you can really feel the pain in it. The last lines I found were extremely powerful, they really brought forth something that does happen.

There were a few grammical and spelling errors here, but it was nothing that really took away from the poem. Generally, the form of the stanzas was quite attractive, and kept my eyes busy while I read. I think the questions dividing up the other stanzas really added to this.

You made your characters that were mentioned seem very hollow, as though their very souls had been torn out and taken away. This kind of drove home the pain in the rest of the poem, to draw it together into a full piece.

Good work, interesting poem. Keep it up.

[Kyrie Eleison]

Um, Thanks for the reviews, and xX-tito24-Xx, thanks for pointing that out to me. I probably won't update for a few days, trying to sort some things out, and all that.

[Mick Parsons]

It reads like a chant... the chorus stanza, question stanza, chorus stanza. There is progression and the poem moves a long smoothly... I guess the thing I'm curious about is context. That's the thing about poetry... it has to create it's own context in order to make sense. But I like the honesty in it, and I appreciate the questioning. People are uncomfortable with questions in poetry because the assumption is, if you're writing it then you have an answer.... the truth is, though, that sometimes there are no answers.

[Servant Ties]

I really did like it, it was deep and passionate and I loved how you described everything so perfectly. Reading the first half of the poem and I was instantly hooked, I could help myself, for some reason I just had to read all of the poem, and Im not really into poetry that much, but this is the one that I like the best. *bows* thank you for posting it

[xX-tito24-Xx]

Ok, well for starters, I LOVE this poem, mainly because I can relate to it, friends have come and one, very few stick with you through the bad times, and it shows the typical teenager's life, where you could wake up with a totally different set of views than you had yesterday.

Also, it's not too long, and you manage to keep me very interested in the poem throughout.

The repetition of

"One emotion dies

Another emotion lives"

both helps you keep the theme of the poem in mind while you are writing it, and helps the reader keep the theme of the poem in mind, as I find that a lot of poems start off in one place and end up somewhere totally different, though this one managed to stick to the theme and the same basic underlying message,

It's an articulate poem, though also accessible to those people whose vocabularies aren't exactly top notch, there's one spelling mistake that I noticed ("shown" instead of "shone" in the first line of the second stanza) though overall, it's a great poem, both from a structural point of view and a contextual one.

Congrats :)

[shinybluestars03]

Awesome poem
it left me in awww
from beginning to last
so much emotions are running
through me right now
Thanks for sharing and
keep on creating

Best wishes

[Windy]

Honestly, if this is something you wrote just to pass the time, I can't wait to see what else you have comming. Though this poem is full of saddness and questions it has a LOT of feeling. It's well written and flows well I thought. good job. ;)

[Azizi- - !!]

Oh WOW. Is all I have to say.
This poem says alot, I can relate alot to it.

I'd love to see more from you.