What Now?

Introduction to new character/adjustment to facility.

This time, when I wake up, it’s in even worse condition than before, which is saying something. My throat burns something fierce, like strep throat decided to pay a visit. And my hands feel bruised and utterly wrecked from my punching spree. Every little twitch in my fingers makes the joints tug and feel ripped. I took a deep, shuddering breath, as I recalled everything that happened, trying to piece together any logic between the calm and the sudden complete snap. What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? It didn’t feel like it. It just felt… instinctual.


I’ve never had a reaction like that before. Not once. I’m not the type to just… lose it. Sure, I have a temper, and I tend to have a potty mouth that would make any grandma blush, but I’m not… violent. Not like that. I knew that hitting it wouldn’t do anything. I knew that. So… why did I bust up my own body even more just to get a few licks in?

Because it wasn’t about harming it. It was about getting away.

I answered my own question as I laid there. I guess it made sense. I panicked when I realized I was about to lose my freedom. And seeing the doors made it… real. But it still didn’t entirely click for me. I had a plan. I knew I’d be put in a room. My escape plan accounted for it. But I just… got scared. Really scared. Like I was that sixteen year old again, simply watching as my dad held the bat. Nothing I could do. Scared. Terrified.

And yet, that was weird too. I didn’t get scared. I mean, sure I panicked a few times when almost getting snagged by a nearby Patroller or Enforcer, but I always breathed through it and focused regardless. I controlled it. This time, it controlled me, and I… wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

When the Uprising happened, I knew that a lot of things spiraled out of my grip. My home, my town, my education, my parents, my freedom as I knew it. But even among all the chaos, my emotions had never been on that list. The minute I left my home behind, I had to learn to leave the spiraling along with it. It was necessary if I wanted to survive. And I did. So… why was it all flooding back now? Why had I lost control? Was getting caught the trigger?

Well, regardless, something like that couldn’t happen again. I wouldn’t allow it. It was unacceptable for me to lose it like that when I had a plan. I knew what I was getting myself into. And now I might have to be here even longer because of my little hysterical moment.

Gods, just great.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, though the motion made my chest ache and my arms even more sore for some reason.

I lifted up my right hand gingerly, expecting to see the appendage black and blue. But instead I was met with the sight of… bandages? Starchy, white, thin layers of wrap curled around my hand and wrist. I lifted the other, and sure enough, it was dressed the same.

Huh. That’s definitely new…

A slight throb in my leg reminded me that it probably wasn’t doing much better. And yet, oddly it hurt less now. Was it wrapped too? I sat up in a jarring motion, trying to make it quick since I couldn’t use my arms to support me long. The pulse of pain as I used them to propel me up was quickly forgotten as I saw my foot neatly wrapped in the same material. And there seemed to be some sort of salve on all three limbs if the tacky, wet, sensation was anything to go by. The alternative theory was blood, but this felt too thick, too greasy.

I shuddered a little, trying to ignore the gross feeling building in my chest.

Piss, vomit, s**t, blood, snot, spit, all these I could handle just fine. Something greasy touching my skin? Nope.

I still remember how often my mom and I used to fight about my hair because of it. She’d insist on me using an excessive amount of conditioner and curling cream on the unruly waves, but I always fought her on it, because I hated the feeling of applying it.

“Come on, Lissy!”, she’d say, her tone that perfect blend of no nonsense and affection. “Your hair is such a vibrant red! You shouldn’t dull it by treating this beautiful hair so poorly!”

I’d always find some way to argue, just as stubborn as a little girl as I was now. And then she’d huff and put her hands on her hips, giving me a half-hearted glare that’d I’d do my best to return. “I swear, such a stubborn little thing you are. A fiery girl to match her fiery hair!”

I’d agree, feeling proud of myself. But in the end, she’d always find a way to win.

I smiled at the memory. It was actually pretty rare that I thought about something good about my childhood. My youth wasn’t anything bad, that wasn’t the problem. I got lucky in the family department. No, the reason was more… nostalgic, and sad. Thinking of things like that only made the fact that they were gone hurt more. And it reminded me that I hadn’t just lost the world as I knew it, I had lost the very people who had been my world.

Jeez, I’m a mess. Emotionally, and physically. At least I’m alone right now, that’s a plus. Wait, actually, am I alone? Who wrapped my wounds?

I felt ridiculous for not checking out my surroundings yet. What was up with me? That was typically the first thing I did. Survival 101, know where you are at all times.

Though, I’d definitely have to get a little creative with my inspection since standing… well, it was definitely out of the question right now. I pushed down the spike of fear at that thought. Running was all I am. It affected every part of me, of my life. Forget getting out, let alone surviving in the wild again, without it. No. Now wasn’t the time to go there. I’ve had foot injuries before. Came with the territory of running track and doing marathons in high school. Usually, the injury just took time and rest, and I’d apply that same principal now. Though ice for the swelling would’ve been nice from whoever my mysterious helper was.

Letting out a huff of annoyance as I swung my legs over the bed to sit in a more stable position, I was pleasantly surprised to find no steel under the plush bed I was on now. The thing was huge. Definitely a king size. Well, at least I’d be resting comfortably as a prisoner. Being on this thing felt like sinking into a marshmallow in contrast to the trees I typically took naps in.

Though, the bed was really the biggest part of the room. The rest was very… Open. Yeah, that was a good word for it.

The same white tiles and walls from the hallways painted this room in its pearly, blinding, hue. I squinted against the onslaught to my senses. That was definitely going to take some getting used to. I frowned, as I noticed the room mimicked the hallway a little too well. No windows.

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the fact that I’d go absolutely stir crazy in less than a week with no sunlight. And, well, probably actually crazy after awhile. Wasn’t sunlight super necessary for people? I’d heard something about people in Alaska almost going crazy every year when there wasn’t enough sun. And I wasn’t exactly wanting to test if that was true or not for myself.

I shook my head of that worry. A problem to deal with at another time.

My frown deepened as I did a second scan, making sure I was seeing it correctly. A bed, two black chairs. That was it. Seriously? I mean, sure, it was still an improvement from the cell I was in before, but what was the point of moving me when this was the only difference? I was basically in a glorified hotel room, except without the five dollar waters and little coffee station I never used. There wasn’t even a bathroom-

I cut off that thought as I noticed a door in the corner, to the left of the bed. I’d overlooked it because it blended in with the wall, the same pristine white. Unlike the giant, ominous, steel door on the other side of that wall I was trying to ignore.

Logic said there was absolutely no chance of it being an exit, and based on the fact that this was my new home, I had a feeling it was just the bathroom.

But… I’d be an idiot if I didn’t go check, right? Injuries be damned, my curiosity won this one.

It took an embarrassing amount of time for me to stand, and even longer for me to hobble to the door. I’d be taking that blow to my pride to the grave. I found myself once again grateful that I was alone. At least, I appeared to be. Not that there were many places to hide, unless someone was under the bed.

I paused, and though I felt utterly foolish for it, peeked back at the bed. It was clear. Gods, I needed to get a grip.

I sighed and did my best to open the door. I was relieved to find it was a lever handle, instead of a twisty knob. It still hurt, but all I had to do was put a little pressure on it, instead of trying to get my hands to grip anything.

A familiar click greeted me as I pushed the door open with my arm. Yep. Bathroom. A tiny, unbearably bright, bathroom, nonetheless. Small shower with glass doors in the back corner to the left, small porcelain throne to the right, with the sink to my right, next to the door. That was it. Well, that and the typical mirror above the sink. I shuffled in and turned my attention to the mirror. Did it pull open? Was there a little medicine cabinet behind it? Oh I’d kill for some ibuprofen right about now. I’d even settle for Tylenol.

Nope. The mirror didn’t budge. I muttered a curse, but the sour mood was quickly forgotten as I actually looked in the mirror. I looked… awful.

I’m not a very vain person. Never really have been. Kind of goes with the nature of being incredibly athletic. Practicality and textures always mattered more to me than looks in the hair and fashion department, and makeup felt greasy, so I never learned how to use it in high-school.

But… Damn, I looked horrible. Like I was supposed to be on the other side of the mirror, and only show up when someone said my name three times.

My hair was bundled up in knots- which made sense since I hadn’t brushed it in a few days, lost my brush during a run- and I had leaves and twigs sticking out in pretty much every direction. I’m pretty sure if I threw in some more dirt and made the twigs a bit bigger, I’d look just like a tree in autumn.

And that was just the hair. That wasn’t even addressing the black eye and cuts painting my tanned skin, or the fat lip that made my normally pink lips look red and purple. My bottom lip was normally half the size it was right now. At least my nose wasn’t broken, again. A forth time wasn’t anything I was enthusiastic to add to my collection. My nose was already crooked enough at the bridge from my previous assaults.

I sucked in air through my teeth as I tilted my head up, inspecting my neck and clothes. I had bruises along my neck, and my guess was they were from either when I fell, or my assault of the Enforcer.

Gods, I’m a mess…

My green top couldn’t even be considered a shirt anymore. It was ripped in all the wrong places, showing my bra way more than I would’ve liked.

“Damn, that sucks. I actually liked this shirt, too. It was good for a run…“

I trailed off, ignoring the glaring fact that I wouldn’t exactly need anything for running for who knows how long.

I think I should make good use of that shower, it’s been awhile since I’ve bathed, anyway. I smell so bad I’m offending myself, which feels like a new low. But first, I need to make sure I have clothes to replace this.

There was cabinet space under the sink, the only splash of color with the red wood accenting the porcelain bowl above. I hoped I’d get lucky for once, and find something I need.

Yep. A three in one shampoo, conditioner, body wash I’d have to make due with, and a pair of neatly folded clothes. They were black pajamas that looked two times my size. But it would work.

Let’s hope I can use the shower without falling. Last thing I need is a head injury to add to all the others. Or breaking my one good leg. Though, knowing my luck, I’ll probably find a way to make every one my limbs match by the end of the day. Or… night. Or whatever it is right now.

I sighed and turned on the shower to heat up- and I was praying it would have hot water to do so- and stripped off the green cloth that used to be a shirt, and the black leggings that weren’t in much better shape. They looked like Swiss cheese with all those holes.

It took me a good ten minutes to manage even that, and considering I wasn’t a very patient person, a lot of cursing accented my actions.

By the time I was fully undressed, the room was covered in steam, one pleasant thing about this place, at least. They had heat. And as I gingerly stepped inside the shower, I felt all of my muscles instantly relax under the hot water’s gentle pressure. It felt like sitting in the sunshine after a long day, and even though I’d probably slept more in the last few days more than I had in years, I found myself feeling more and more exhausted the longer I stood under the spray.

I took my sweet time washing myself, partially because I was trying not to lose my balance, and partially because I was wanting to be as thorough as possible. It took washing my hair four times before gray stopped washing down the drain, and I scrubbed my body until my skin was red and raw.

It felt like time didn’t exist in here, and I was more than happy to just stay here and let time freeze over. But eventually, the heat started to wane and my body started to ache more, so I reluctantly wrapped it up.

I felt much better. It was amazing how being clean and smelling good could do wonders for the mood. But maybe that was just because everything else was so s****y right now, that something as small as bathing made things a bit better. A low bar, and all that.

I yawned and wrapped myself in the fluffy white towel hanging on the towel rack to my left, before grabbing the clothes and shuffling my way to the door. I was beat, and sitting on the bed while I got dressed seemed like a way better option than fighting with it while standing right now.

But then I opened the door, and woke up real quick. Why? Because green eyes met mine the second I stepped out. A mix of panic, surprise, and anger flooded me all at once. Who was this guy? Why was he in my room!? Why was he sitting on my bed!? Why was he looking at me like I was- towel. In towel. Naked. Guy in room. Gods, kill me now.

One thing I hated about my features was how obvious it was when I was angry or embarrassed, because my face went beet red every time. I felt the familiar telltale signs of blood rushing to my face, and it was enough to snap me into action.

“S-Stop looking at me you f*****g a*****e!”

And with that I stepped back into the bathroom and slammed the door hard enough to rattle it.

Okay, so maybe I hadn’t handled that as well as I could’ve. But could anyone blame me? I was naked in my room and there was a random guy on my bed! I already wasn’t a people person in a general sense, so how was I expected to handle this any better?

I locked the door and started dressing as quickly as I could, which looked a lot like stumbling around on one foot as I fought to get the black pajama pants on. It was even worse knowing he probably heard me thumping around in here. I had just managed to clip my bra back on- no way in hell was I going bra less in front of some guy I didn’t know, it didn’t matter if I didn’t exactly have enough in that department to tell- when I heard a muffled voice on the other side.

“Lights out is in ten minutes. Be ready by then.”

That was it? No apology for looking at me when I was in nothing more than a towel? No introduction or explanation as to why he was in my room? Yeah, I wasn’t feeling so bad for blurting out that he was a f*****g a*****e now.

I huffed in annoyance as I finally got my shirt on, straightening things out to make sure everything was covered and my wet hair was out of the shirt. Then, I stormed back out, my anger doing well to help me hide the fact that doing anything quickly hurt like hell.

“Um, excuse me, that’s it? You aren’t going to tell me why the hell you’re in here? On my bed?”

He was bent over on the side of the bed, taking off a pair of black boots. His eyes flicked up to look at me, a cool, calm, indifference, in his gaze. Like he hadn’t just seen me half naked, or cared that he was invading my space.

“Well, considering that this is my room, and my bed, no. I don’t think an explanation is really necessary.”

I opened my mouth to retort, some colorful words begging to make their way into my sentences. But then, I stopped, my mouth clamping shut as I noticed something I had missed in our brief interaction before.

He was wearing the same clothes as me. Or, rather, an eerily similar version. A black, form-fitting shirt, black sweat pants that seemed rumpled and worn after the day. And all that was fine, on its own. Probably some sort of uniform in this place. No, what got my attention was that he was incredibly fit. A strong, steady, build that made his clothes fit comfortably. Whereas, what I was wearing was at least two times too big for my skinny frame. And yet, from the looks of it, they’d fit him just fine…

Oh gods. I was wearing his pajamas.

He’d already lost interest in the conversation, apparently, because his attention was turned back to the boots he was unlacing. His expression as cool as a cucumber.

Holy s**t, he’s right isn’t he? And he knows he’s right. Ugh. Obnoxious prick…

Was the anger I felt about the situation entirely justified? Probably not. Was it there? Absolutely.

“Well, why the hell would they put us in the same room, then?”

I had absolutely no business sounding so hauty right now, I admit it. But d****t, the fact that I was so ruffled right now, and he was anything but, was making me feel off-balance. He merely shrugged, taking off the shoes he just unlaced.

“There’s typically two people per room. Though they’re usually the same sex.”

“Well than why didn’t you already have a roommate, before now? And why pair us?”

A soft clunk sounded when he tossed the shoes off to the side. Then he straightened, and I got a proper look at his face.

Aloof. I’d heard that word before. I’d seen it describe characters in stories, listened as people said it about their pets when they weren’t listening to them, and other such small examples. But never had I truly seen such a word have such a perfect representation until now.

One look at his face showed me that I was clearly the only one who cared about this arrangement.

“Does it matter? Clearly, I have a roommate now. And it’s not unheard of for a guy and girl to get paired up here. It usually happens when the place starts to get too full. When they build another facility, the bulk will be thinned out again. It happens every so often.”

My eyes narrowed at his answer. He didn’t exactly answer my question about why he was alone. And it was clear he wasn’t new like me, not with the way he spoke about this place as if he’d seen it all before. I better not have ended up in a room with a pervert or something. That was the last thing I needed.

“How long have you been here?”

He sighed, a hint of annoyance in his gaze. I caught the subtle twitch in his jaw before he spoke again. He was gritting his teeth. So I could bother him. Noted.

“Look, I get that you’re new here and you’re going through the “bombard people with questions” phase, but it’s about to be lights out, and I’d rather not get in trouble because a newbie decided to have a chat.”

Not the right thing to say to someone who’s nerves were shot and had a temper known for blowing at something as small as a stubbed toe.

“Are you serious? What, you gotta get to bed before the machines get mad? Gotta follow the bed time? Don’t give me that s**t.”

Oof. I could feel my mother’s disappointment with that one. I was being really bitchy. Well, she shouldn’t have married someone in the military who’d pass his potty mouth on to their kid. Or his temper.

“That how you greet all your new roommates? Not very good at making friends, are you.”

“Oh shut up, d********g.”

“Funny, was about to say the same to you. Night.”

I blinked as he laid down on the bed without another word and pulled up the blanket, his arm draped over his eyes in a clear gesture of “I’m going to sleep, don’t bother me.”

I took a deep breath, definitely not about to just leave it there, but I was rudely interrupted by a rhythmic knock on the door before it slid open slowly, revealing an Enforcer. I felt myself pale when it immediately looked at me expectantly, like I’d been caught doing something wrong.

“18501405, 1974332997, lights out has started as scheduled. If you do not comply with this, action will be taken to ensure-“

“She was just coming to bed. She got up to grab something, that’s all. We both comply with your rules.”

I was stunned. He didn’t even look up, didn’t seem surprised or interested in the slightest by the fact that the door was open, and that an Enforcer was currently standing there. And yet, he seemed to know exactly what to say to get it to disengage. It looked between me and him, as if evaluating the situation. Then, it left without a word. My first instinct was to rush to the empty doorway, but I knew I wouldn’t be fast enough right now. Sure enough, it started closing a second later.

“Hey, do they do that every night for lights out? Open the door?”

He took a deep breath, as if he had just been waiting for me to say that.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“What-”

“Trust me. Just don’t.”

His tone was firm, final. Like he expected the conversation to end then and there. An awkward silence ensued. Before I broke it again.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed. The kind of sigh a disappointed parent gives when the kid says something dumb.

“Yes, they do that every night. They also have four Enforcers posted on every single door, every night, too. No breaks. No switch outs. They’re machines, don’t need sleep or piss breaks.”

I frowned at that. That would definitely put a damper on my plans. Though, said plans would have to wait anyway until I could run again. I looked down at my hands. I had taken the bandages off when I got in the shower, and… well, it definitely wasn’t a pretty sight underneath.

I jolted from the thought as I realized that this a*****e must’ve been the one to wrap them to begin with. Which meant he saw me sleeping, and messed with me when I was.

“Hey, were you the one who wrapped my-”

“We have medical wings. Machines designed to take care of that sort of thing. They probably wrapped your wounds up sometime today. Wasn’t me.”

I frowned again, torn between bristling at the fact that he kept interrupting me, and appreciative that he wasn’t the one to patch me. After being alone and on guard for so long, I didn’t like the idea of someone seeing me sleep, even if to do something like patch a wound. It strangely felt better to know it was some sort of machine that did it. Which I guess makes sense, before everything went to s**t, machines had been pretty prevalent in hospitals. They did almost all the overnight surgeries that doctors used to have to switch out for. They were called Medics.

Medical Emergency Diagnostics and Intensive Care Systems

Ironic, how they had saved so many with their precision and inability to tire. And how even that had been twisted.

My anger over the situation had cooled some. While I was definitely still wary about being stuck in the same room with a random guy, and he was clearly an a*s, I also understood that this wasn’t exactly his fault, either. We were just both kind of stuck together. Which also meant, I admit, I could be a little less of a b***h to him in turn.

“…Thanks. For answering my questions. Well, most of them.”

It felt awkward, but then again, thanking people always did for me. It was too… vulnerable. Though apparently the weirdness was one sided. He just gave a slight nod in acknowledgment.

“No problem.”

Silence ensued, while I was becoming more and more aware that I had nowhere to sleep. I sure as hell wasn’t about to cozy up with a stranger who may or may not be a creep, undecided so far. I guess I could try the floor, though the tile would definitely hurt, and I had nothing to cushion me. Just as I was debating how comfortable the chair would be, I heard a plop, and looked at the bed to find him on the floor with the pillows and large blanket with him.

“What are you-“

“You can have the bed until your injuries heal. After that, I’m taking it back. I’m keeping the bedding, too, so you’ll have to make due.”

This was getting eerie. I didn’t like that he seemed to be reading my mind every few minutes. And I liked even less that he was pitying me. Though, my body was grateful for the reprieve sleeping on something plush would give it.

“I can sleep just fine on the floor, you know. I don’t need your charity.”

“Okay.”

That was all he said. No arguing, no fuss. Just that one word as he fluffed up his pillow and laid down. This whole thing was so weird. And the way he spoke with such confidence, such indifference, like he knew he’d win, he knew he was right. Well, it was infuriating.

But, admittedly, at the moment, I was too tired to care enough about my pride to do something. So, I settled on the bed and ignored the way my body seemed to sigh in relief. I was so used to running on anger and tension, that not having that for a moment felt… strange. There was literally nothing left for me to do right now but rest, and yet, I found myself looking for anything to be worried about. Anything to show that it wasn’t safe to sleep, and I needed to be alert.

It took hours before my body finally succumbed to the need for rest, and I drifted off in a fitful sleep. One filled with nightmares of moments I didn’t want to think about.

Author's Note

How does this come across? The intention is for Velise to be very unfamiliar and wary of interaction. She's avoided it for so long that her interactions with others should feel choppy and off. However, I still want it to flow well and be interesting to read. Also, how comprehensible is her small explanation as to why she panicked?