The Damn-Well-Should've-Beens

tabgled stream of consciousness.

…Something in the way he speaks

That makes me trip and

Fall on the page.

My words fall out of my hands

And scatter in a twisted mess

On the once immaculate paper,

And I sit amongst the would’ve-beens,

The could’ve-beens,

The damn-well-should’ve-beens,

And curse him for being so smooth.

 

I can feel his eyes

On the clothes I’ve never worn.

Holding my hand

In his empty hand.

Resting his head

On the static.

 

I imagine he’s imagining

I’m much better at standing my ground…

In truth,

I fall

Quite a lot.

And it’s clumsy

I should look where I’m going,

In future.

 

Reviews

[Edward Clay]

each one of these stanzas could work alone as seperate poems, as they approach a different theme to each other, although remaining tied in with each one at the same time. if that makes any sense at all! the first line of stanza two is the stand out point - and ties in quite nicely with the final remark as a result. just the two juxtaposng ideas of the man looking at the clothes he wont see, and then you ot looking where youre going, is such an intricate idea, its hard to explain. the man looking to the future, and you looking to the past. imnot sure if this is what you intended, but it works fantastically. i like it when i see that within a piece of writing. along with the repetition of falling which ties in again. i shant ramble on, but this has given me quite a lot of different ideas and perspectives!

and it was a stream of consciousness! i always find these are the best.