The Windchime

The windchime jingled softly

in the cool breeze.

A smile touched my face lightly,

as something in me squeezed.

The soft tinkling warmed my heart,

as a sadness crept over me.

My little world of which you were a part

was torn apart despite my plea.

Little girls we were,

with cute dolls we played.

For teddy bears and rabbits with soft fur,

before bedtime we prayed.

Growing up with you,

I learnt so much. 

Fashion and style, old and new,

you were a picture of elegance to me, as such.

Little secrets we'd share

and blush away for our first crush. 

For me you were always there

to guide me out and give me a push. 

But time quietly slithered

into the depths of my little nest.

And I watched as my world withered, 

hurt, broken, not withstanding the harsh test.

Life has now become a maze,

in the bowels of which we lost our way. 

But the memories we had, are hard to erase, 

for the sake of which, to find you again, I pray.

The windchime jingled softly

in the cool breeze. 

A smile touched my face lightly,

as something in me squeezed. 

Author's Note

I have tried to portray in this poem the distance time has created between me and my sister as we grew up and got busy with our lives and careers..

Reviews

[Essence London]

It works: the image of a windchime juxtaposed with a longing tone. Also closing the poem with the beginning stanza gives it repetition of sound, similar to the subject.

Perhaps telling your readers beforehand what the poem is about explicitly is too much too soon. I found myself expecting certain things. Please do explain to us the origin of the poem; it helps us get to know you better. Try revealing this information after the poem though, in the Note to Reviewers section.

I look forward to reading more from you.

[Zoya Sahai]

Thank you Essence. I'll keep this in mind.. I actually wanted to portray how time has distanced me from my sister and how we are busy in our lives now.
Thank you very much for pointing out the flaw.

[sukrit.leo]

It feels mellow. Like, in places, your words don't seem to tally with your line of thought.

[KurKota]

I liked the feeling of memories and fondness for a past shared experience this conveyed. I think the structure and the discipline of word usage is very good. A very pleasant reading. Thank you for sharing this.

[Zoya Sahai]

Thank you very much. :)

[KurKota]

You are very welcome.

[Nithin Purple]

Awesome:())))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Neha Godambe]

Awwwww.... Its lovely. Heart touching :)

[Zoya Sahai]

Thank you Neha. :)