Chapter Five
Alchemy sounded
good at the time
During the months, weeks and days
subsequent to my arrival at what was the closest thing to a home resting in my
memory, I became close to the Apprentice. He came to confide in me trivialities
he deemed unworthy to concern the great mind of the Alchemist with. Our
relationship refrained from adhering to cliché. We did not indulge in father
son pretence. Neither he nor I held superiority over the other. He was young
but possessed wisdom that far surpassed his age.
His intelligence matched my own but his
knowledge spread over different fields of academia and vocation. It felt good
finally having another I could consider a friend and trust. I would without a
doubt have trusted the Alchemist with my very soul but his faceless demure did
render him sadly impossible to relate to. His was the kindest of souls I had
ever come across baring a stark contrast to my own wretched excuse for one. Although
maybe his glowed not virgin purity but with redemption and he was passing on to
me a forgiveness from the world he had once received himself. Could one really
repent for such crimes? Could the heavens truly remorse for someone guilty of
these heinous acts of mortal misconduct?
I would have to seek an audience with the
Gods or consultation with the next best thing for answers to these questions
but there was no hurry. My impending disappointment from answers I knew could
wait for now. Besides, at this moment I was met with a conundrum. The
Apprentice had become the Journeyman and as such it was his time to part ways
with the Alchemist and had asked that I accompany him for even but a short
while on his travels.
It saddened me the thought of parting with
the Alchemist, whom I admired greatly and had taught me much about myself.
Never before our meeting had I questioned my conflicting scientific and
religious beliefs. I flirted with the intimidating idea of reshaping them both
to create the same harmony between them attained by the Alchemist. My
apprehension however did not merely lie in the possibility of losing my teacher
but in becoming caught up in the Journeyman’s affairs as he had a personal
vendetta to settle.
In the end, reassessing the situation, I
concluded this may be my path to reconciling with my humanity, restoring an
inner karmic balance through helping another. My next step in becoming something
fit to even worship my Goddess. Without a goodbye, for it was not the
Alchemists way, the Journeyman and I began our travels together.
We marched boldly during the bright hours
of the day and made our small mark on the map with a quaint camp-site by night.
My conversations with the Journeyman became easier to conduct now that he was
not drenched in silence, although it was still a common occurrence for us to be
communicating through signs or written literature, most occasions we felt
speech was stressed and that the pervading stillness in sound was relaxing and
gave us the opportunity to listen. On one fateful evening I had decided to
confess my crimes.
As I hadn’t spoken of such things in such a
long period of time it felt alien. I was not, unlike my former self, accustomed
to the gruesome images that flashed before my eyes upon recital of such memories.
Tears filled my eyes and my voice was shaking. An immortal touch of grief
washed over me once more and what happened next I was unready for.
I stood tall, high above my new subject,
and stared down at the ghastly figure. There was a look of confusion behind his
controlled face, I could feel his fear. My lips were drying and the taste of
blood was becoming ever more tempting. The masked emotions of my true nature
were beginning to crack.
There was no way on earth that, if my
actions had surprised me, that I did not surprise the faint image of the man
beneath me. At that moment, with the chaos in my mind, I unsheathed the blade
that the Alchemist had so trustfully gifted me and brought it high above my
head. I made it clear to my quarry, that my insecurities had engulfed me and
that the boy I stood above was to spoil my trophies on arrival to the town.
With enough said I mercilessly brought my arm down heavily, the blade gripped
tightly in my fist, and struck the Apprentice.
The force of the blow ushered me a few
paces backwards, to a point where I could see the carnage I had caused once
more. I stood puzzled as I am faced with a man holding my dagger, I had missed
my mark. The energy and effort applied had worn me out and initial confusion
had drained my bloodlust dry. My insanity was surely going to be the death of
me, and I could not bring myself to hold my body up, I fell to my makeshift
bedding and once again life seemed to fade away
leaving me in the realm of my shattered mind.