First draft of first chapter of book i am writing

This is the first draft of the first chapter of a book I am trying to write. Please tell me what you think. Thank you

 

 

Preface

Have you ever cared about somebody, and then had them stripped away? Knowing that you love them, but never being able to hear their voice again, feel their touch, taste their lips. Have you ever lost the love of your life, and lost them without knowing if they knew you loved them? I have. There are things in this world that are just not right. Good people dying and bad people thriving. Mongrels taking profit off of the lives of the innocent, sitting in their mansions, in the warmth, while the people that deserve comfort are left rotting and freezing, fighting to stay alive. This war has cost me, and it needs to end, but what can I do? I am a civilian. I have no training, no experience. I couldn't kill a person to save myself, could I?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

“John! John? John, wake up.” Her voice rang like a song bird, it was morning, and she was waking me up for breakfast. I loved waking up to her beautiful face. She was about five feet tall, blonde, and had the most beautiful green eyes that I would get lost in every time I looked in them. Her beauty grew as my eyes adjusted to the light from the sun shining through the blinds of our bedroom. She kissed me softly, reminding me of just how much I loved her. It happened every time we kissed. It was undeniable that she was the love of my life, and I would do anything for her.

She left the bedroom, singing as she went, and I couldn't help but smile. She had a voice like an angel, and she was always so happy. I swear nothing could get her down. I got out of bed, walked across the cold floor, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. I could smell the french toast she was making, and the bacon that was sizzling on the stove. I walked up behind her and set my hands on her waist, kissing her gently on the neck. She laughed the sweetest of laughs, and turned to kiss me on the lips. Her lips were soft, as I picked her up and set her on the counter. I stood there kissing her, and she sat there kissing me. Everything was perfect.

Our Saint Bernard, Riley, barked at us. We broke the kiss and laughed, tossing a piece of bacon to him. I finished cooking breakfast while she sang, sitting on the counter beside me. We sat and ate breakfast, hand in hand, and talked about the day ahead of us. We planned to go to the movies after she got home from work, she was the head veterinarian at the local animal hospital. She loved animals, just like me. Her pager went off, and she had to go early. A little girl, Sally, had brought in her cat. Her father had ran over the cats leg, breaking it. I walked her to her car, and kissed her good bye. She backed out of our driveway. I waved as she drove away, and watched as her green Volvo turned the corner, out of site.

“Morning, John.” My neighbor, James, waved over his picket fence, as he walked towards the fence. “Good morning, James,” I said, as I, also, headed towards his fence.

“Did you hear about the President declaring war?”

I had heard rumors of the possibility that war could be taking place in America. I never thought it would happen, but it turns out, that it was actually happening. “I thought it was just a rumor?”

“No, it was made official yesterday.”

“Well, let's hope it stays in the cities.” We lived in the country, where the riots, murders, and rapes didn't affect us. Jenn and I never worried, we lived in the country. The nearest city was over the mountains.

“Yeah, I bet you are happy you moved here no-” James stopped short, and turned looking down the road, in the direction that Jenn went to get to the animal hospital. There was a faint sound coming from around the corner, a low hum, getting louder. Something was headed our way. Then I saw it, a tank, commandeered by the rebels that are, now, in a war with the United States. There were rebels walking alongside the tank, and there were more trucks, filled with rebels and artillery, behind the tank. It was an army. What were they doing in this small town? It was then that the first shot was fired. I flinched when the loud bang of the gun rang through the now silent town. A woman screamed somewhere behind me, probably Mrs. Jennings. She was always worrying about something, and when bad stuff did happen, she would be the first to freak out, but she had a good heart. I was so surprised by the rebels actually being in this small town that I forgot about James. I turned to him and began, “James, get inside, pack and get ready to run.”

He didn't respond. “James? James, snap out of it. Jam-” I stopped short. It was then that I had noticed his eyes. They were glazing over, when he coughed up some blood, I didn't take my eyes off of his. He fell to the ground, and I jumped over the fence as fast as I could. I could see the blood coming from his chest. The blood poured from the bullet hole. I ripped off my shirt and tried to stop the bleeding, putting the shirt over the wound and applying pressure. I looked at his face, and realized, he was smiling. I couldn't comprehend why he was smiling, then the consciousness in his eyes faded. He was gone. Another gun went off, and the wood of the picket fence in front of me splintered as the bullet tore through the timber. I shot up, diving over the fence and landing face first in my own lawn. I heard one of the rebels shout to another, “I bet you he's a screamer.”

I ran through the front door, slamming it shut and locking it. I heard the rebel release a chant, like that of a person mocking a terrorist. I ran upstairs to the bedroom and headed straight for the closet. I knew that my old gun was in the safe that Jenn demanded we have installed and bolted to the ground. She was smart. I fumbled with the dial, messing up the combination twice before finally opening it. I grabbed the gun, but when I felt the cool handle, I realized what I was considering. Self defense is still murder, isn't it? Is it right for me to kill this man attacking me? If I shoot him will others notice or will they think the shot was his, and the victim was me? I heard him kick in the front door, and his footsteps as he walked into the living room, pushing over the antique lamp that Jenn bought. He fired one round into the glass table, and then I heard Riley barking. We had put him in the small closet where we kept the laundry machine. Riley loved attention and knew that there was someone in the house, he probably wanted to play with the rebel, stupid dog. As stupid as he was, I loved him. Jenn picked him out and she loved him just as much as I did, if not more. I was not going to let that savage harm him. I decided that I had to act, but how? He had a gun, and I would not use mine again. I looked around trying to think of something practical to use to knock out the man with the intent to kill me and my dog. I grabbed an old trophy from back when I played hockey. I was the goalie. I set a few records, but tore my ACL ending my career. I lifted it off of the shelf feeling the weight of it. It was a good 8 pounds. Should be enough to knock him out. I gripped the trophy in my right hand and began to sneak my way towards the stairs. The laundry room was just beneath the balcony of the second floor. If I could get the man to stand still, in front of the door, I could drop the trophy right on his head. Then, I heard the floor board just outside of the kitchen creak. He was headed for the laundry room, so I stepped back behind the closest wall. There was a single floor board that creaked every time it was stepped on right in front of the laundry room, that would be my signal. I listened to his footsteps, worrying more and more about Riley as he got closer. Riley was growling now, he knew that this was a bad man. I heard the creaking floor board and rushed to the balcony and dropped the trophy. I watched it fall. It hit him in the shoulder. I heard his collar bone snap and the 9 millimeter pistol fall to the ground. His screams would surely alert the rest of the rebels. I had to act quickly. Something compelled me to just jump over the balcony railing on to the man. He screamed louder as my weight shifted towards his broken collar bone. I put my hand over his mouth to quiet him. He was trying to bite me, and he was strong, but I was stronger. I tried to reason with him and convince him to just leave me alone. He cursed at me, demanding I let him up. I couldn't risk it anymore. I grabbed the trophy that was barely within arms length. I struck him in his left temple, not hard enough to kill him, but just hard enough to ensure that he would remain unconscious for a relatively long time. I rolled onto my back catching my breath, I had never done something like that. Riley barked a happy bark from the laundry room. He knew that I was there. I opened the door and Riley tackled me licking my face. I laughed and got him under control. He began to sniff at my shirt and whimper. I was confused until I realized I was covered in James's blood. I couldn't believe he was gone. I didn't like him all that much, but he was a good man and deserved much better than what he got. I patted Riley on the head telling him to calm down. Then, I turned my attention to the rebel lying on my floor. The others might notice he's missing, I could only hope that they wouldn't notice. I went into the garage, thankful that we decided to buy the house with the attached garage. I grabbed the rope that Jenn's father had used to go mountain climbing and headed back into the house. I stepped out of the kitchen, the floor board creaking, Riley growled and was ready to attack. “It's just me, boy.” He instantaneously relaxed as I spoke. I patted his head and began to restrain the rebel. I tied up the rebel, using square knots, that I learned as a kid in boy scouts. I dragged him into the laundry room, then slid the adjacent bookshelf in front of the door. The bookshelf contained all of Jenn's books from when she was in veterinarian school, he wouldn't be able to knock it over, not in his condition.

Having dealt with him, I headed to the bathroom to clean off my blood stained skin. I brought Riley with me. I told him to watch the door as I took the longest shower of my life. I thought about where to go, what to do, but mostly I worried. I worried about Jenn. Hoping that she was okay. Not sure what I would do if she was hurt. I then decided that I was going to find her. I would go through Hell and back for her, and I will not be able to live without knowing if she was okay. Once the blood had rinsed away from my skin I got out of the shower, it had only been 15 minutes, and watched the bloody water flow down the drain. I knew that more blood was going to be shed, and that it would not just flow down a drain.

 

Author's Note

Please give me some feedback. Suggestions, opinions, should i write more?

Reviews

[Denise]

YOU should never stop writing and as far as the story I am truly interested in the potential outcome

[redd Brick Keshner]

It's not done until it's done.
Can't wait to read the concluding segments of this story.