Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

A Chapter by Alex Vidmar

They came for me,

Out of the dark.

No chance, no warning.

I was asleep in the park.

 

The park was supposedly safe,

All its gates and fences.

But the one that got in.

Happened while under false pretenses.


I can't believe this, how the f**k???

I had just run out of ammo, just my luck!

How could this happen?

I think as I lay there, vision fading...


She kneels over my prone form,

I knew her, we lived in the same dorm.

She tore my heart out, figuratively.

And now she is doing it, literally.


God, what did I do to deserve this?

This is a horrible way to die,

I see that she is missing an eye.

I'm so sorry...


She tears out my intestines, and munches my liver.

I can't hold on any longer,

I let go.

And my lifeless body quivers.



© 2012 Alex Vidmar


Author's Note

Alex Vidmar
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Who cool! It must be horrible to be eaten by someone you used to know. I like how you had a safe point that was broken into becuase no place is safe. I like the flow of it. Good write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the way these perspectives are written as well. its simple and I can picture everything that is happening. I can see the man in the park sleeping, startled at the sudden danger and scrambleing to save himself.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the way you write these. I really do. It's brilliant.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wonderful job here. I like how they knew each other before it all started. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"She tore my heart out, figuratively.
And now she is doing it, literally"
Love these lines :) The surprise and irony of the guy makes it better to read

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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what a charming lady your ol' gal is :D and that sucks the one place you thought was safe and then poof! there appears your girlfriend ready to tear your eyes out! when you least expect it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 14, 2012
Last Updated on April 8, 2012


Author

Alex Vidmar
Alex Vidmar

Wakefield, RI



About
I'm twenty-two years old and a musician at heart, but I took up writing five years ago. I'm hoping to get published somewhere, so I'm trying out this site. Please be honest in your reviews. Be cr.. more..

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