Through These Eyes

I see things...
Spirits, hatred, love, anger.
People, animals, safety, and danger.
I see these things.

I've seen,
Death, Life, Sadness, pain.
Fire, earth, wind, and rain.
These things I've seen.

I want to see...
The face of a newborn, the smile of a lover,
Happiness throughout the world,  And a world without hunger.
These I want to see.

I will never see...
A world without pain, nor the year 3000.
The smile of one long gone, nor the face of my great-great-great-granddaughter's husband.
These, I shall never see.

Author's Note

Just wrote this in 5 minutes. What'd'ya think?

Reviews

[Riley Bray]

For five minutes, this is exceptionally done. I've really never thought about not seeing the year 3000 or my descendants fiancees, but you're absolutely correct. The only thing I have to say critique-wise is just that it doesn't seem finished, almost as if there's something important you're missing. Good job though!

[Brianna Van Zandt]

This is great for a five minute piece.

[Alex Vidmar]

Thank you Kit-Kat :)

[Fragilebrokendreams]

As a 5 minute piece, its well done. I certainly love the perspective of how the speaker explains the things they have seen and things they have yet to see or will never see. I love it.

[Jon Settle]

For a 5 minute piece of writing this is really good. I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote this but you did a really amazing job of it. :)

[Pax]

in five minutes you did nice job.

[TawnyBlueStar]

I love this. It's great :) I can hardly ever write anything in 5 mins and this has turned out really really well :D

[Alex Vidmar]

Thank you! :D

[MandaBear]

Very good for 5 minutes! sometimes great things come out in so little time.

[mariah]

wow, thats good for five minutes. great work! :P

[I Am Svetlana]

The thing I liked most about this was from how you went from past (see) to present (seen) to future (want to see and will never see). You capture each thought and emotion very well and it's nice to know your dreams of what you wish to see and what you realize you will probably never see. Very nice write! Keep up the good work.

[Brianna Van Zandt]

Just saying, it would be past (seen) to present (see) to future (want to see and will never see). You mixed up past and present tenses.

[I Am Svetlana]

Oh, my bad :/

[Brianna Van Zandt]

It's okay. :) Honest mistakes. No one is perfect.

[I Am Svetlana]

That means a lot...thank you :)

[Brianna Van Zandt]

Of course. :) Besides. Perfection is overrated. To be perfect to any one person, you'd have to be imperfect to another. So, do what I do! Don't be "perfect" like everyone else wants. Just be....you. :)

[Brianna Van Zandt]

Because being you is as close to perfect as anyone should ever want you to be.

[I Am Svetlana]

Yet, I don't understand why people judge others. If you're being you, people should be satisfied enough, though people have too high of standards nowadays, so I've stopped focusing on living up to them.

[Destinyxi]

Very nicely written, a good read!

[K-mo]

this is very good, insightful, and simly amazing