Dead Jokes

Chapter 3

The thought came as quickly as the action did. Not having much time to plan an escape route he quickly dashed in the opposite direction, he was cut off in that direction also. He was now in an unfortunate position. He knew it would call for drastic measures. He dropped his bag and shed his hooded sweater.. He now just had his skateboard that attached to a micro thin magnetic strip that he had implanted into the back of every torso related piece of clothing he had. This was done in a matter of milliseconds. Before he realized, an advisor was upon him. The advisor swung his taser rod just grazing the back of Nickolais shirt. But nickolai was too fast for him. With blazing speed nickolai dashed into a nearby alleyway knocking over numerous trash cans as an attempt to lessen the speed of the pursuing advisors.

“ I gotta loose these jokes”…” hmm i know the perfect place”. His destination was set. He was headed into the place know as “ the playground”. The play ground was an area where the city piled the disabled planes and war vehicles from the war of 2040. He knew of that place because his father fought in the war and mentioned it to him many times.” People always wonder why I call it the playground’…his heart is racing as he charges full speed at the” playground”. “I call it the playground because it’s where I used to play and do parkour/freerunning training when I was a kid” he had done it again. Even in a life or death situation his mind had gone of on a tangent. He snaps back to his objective.

He reaches the rusty fence and dash vaults over it as he had done many times before. The advisors were still right on his tail. They however took a detour, they had to use the main gate about 40 meters from their original position, and unfortunately it was not enough to slow them down. “I fear that I may have to fight these jokes”….”but how?” he wondered... He jumps over an old car bringing his knees up high to avoid his legs from being caught in the door panel. He lands swiftly with a roll and jumps to his feet again. He glances up to see a crane and a pile of cars.

“I wonder how hard it is to work one of these?” he turns it on and instantly understands the mechanisms. “Ha not to hard I guess.” He starts to operate the crane when he realizes a very serious issue the crane was welded to the ground and is facing the wrong direct “s**t”. Is the only thing he could manage to say. He grabbed the window panel of the crane operating cockpit and jumped out the window. He landed and just as fast as he landed he was running again only this time. The advisors were back on his tail. “hahahaha I got something for these jokes”. “Time to take a trip to flat iron station. Flat iron station was a part of the playground that specialized in flattening vehicles for recycling nicknamed pancake station for obvious reasons. “ 400 ton plates slamming down at about 300 mile per hour, not a bad way to kill someone.” The group of advisors were now firing electric spheres at him. This was an issue.

He now realized he had an even bigger problem. He had no weapon. But he did have one thing, a sharp mind. He was coming up on pancake station. He knew he was close because he could hear than clanking and crashing of the mechanisms. He looked back “ 5 jokes, gotta do this correctly, or else my a*s is in for a beating”. He speeds up and launches himself at the arched support beam on the “flat irons” he scales the construct like a monkey in a tree. “These flat irons crash down every 4 and a half minutes it’s been 3 minutes since the last crash down, which means I don’t have much time to lure them in”. he stares at the approaching jokes, he turns on the ultra bright flood light on his watch. “ there he is, the little m**********r!” Nickolai smiles as he switches on the remaining flatirons while sliding down the other side of the support beam. He opens his mouth to speak “ let’s dance you f*****g jokes”.

The advisors start shooting and charging toward Nickolai but he is sprinting and zigzagging around piles of old cars and rubble. They were all aimlessly following him, until he overheard one yell “split up, we can get his a*s that way, remember he has no weapon!” nickkolai is running full speed and and slides under a car using a narrow opening that was there. He crawls out from the other side. And leans up against the car. He can hear the running slow down. “ wait I hear something” he can hear coming from a static fill mask. He frantically thinks of an escape plan “ s**t this knee is staring to hurt again, but I oly have 46 seconds until that flat iron comes down, or I have to survive another 4 and a half wioth these jokes”

He searches the ground for a potential weapon, how lucky he was, he found a rusty sharp metal spike “ not much but it will do” “40 seconds” he thinks right before he leaps from behind the car and stabs the tall advisor in right the arm repeatedly. The shorter one grabs his arm but is thwarted with a brutal kicked to the stomach. “Why you little!...” before he could finish the sentence Nickolai had already plunged the blade into the short advisors open facemask. As blood curdling scream is heard, possibly loud enough to attract the semi-wanted attention, the short advisor falls to the ground. “36 seconds” the tall advisor kicks Nickolai to the ground and stomps into his rib cage. A gasp followed by a gush of blood is all that is seen. Nickolai is a bit disoriented but finds the energy to leg sweep him. As the advisor falls he can hear the footsteps of his comrades “28 seconds” he pulls the spike from the short advisors face and plunges it into the chest of the tall one. He now has one last objective. The Flat iron.

“s**t that little f****r killed mike and Johnny!!” get him. Nickolai stumbles as fast as possible running toward the flat ions.” 15 seconds” he is barely at jogging speed. The advisors are gaining on him quickly...” 10 seconds” he coughs up more blood” . He steps onto the metal platform and the advisors are almost within attack range. “4 seconds” as he reaches the edge of the plat form he can hear the angry breathing of and advisor. And his arm about to grab the back of his shirt.” Zero”… as fast as the distinct , metal “ CLINK” was heard the weight had slammed. The impact tossed Nickolai about 15 feet, his body was like a ragdoll, Limbs flailing uncontrollably everywhere during flight. * THUD* was the sound his body made upon impact with the ground. His thoughts wandered as he slipped in and out of unconsciousness “I really need to find a new hobby, *cough, cough*…..he used his last effort to glare at the splattered mess that was once three advisors. He managed to mutter a few words before he slipped into unconsciousness.

“Heh, the only good joke, is a dead one”

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