A Midnight Valediction

A tale of two lovers, One unfaithful and the other; Forgiving.

A single night I had spent,
More memorable than the rest,
I trussed my covers and sat upright,
And gazed upon my lover's face;
A sleeping beauty, an artist's passion,

The simple smile that decked her lips,
Ever so beautiful, ever so tempting,
A single hand, I snaked through her hair,
I arose, and walked towards her side,
And gazed down once more, at that deceptive face.

Seeming so faithful,but uneventfully not so much,
I still could not, bring myself to hate one such as her,
With so many memories, happy, sad, and many more;
Much loss, love; memories and an ever beautiful lover,
But never again, one a twisted fiend as she.

But still, never hate her, I could;
Her reasons; still unexplained, but my time I overstayed,
A lone night, I promised myself, but still couldn't let go,
The lingering feelings I had; for that smiling face,
It was time, midnight, the time of farewell,
But one thought still lingered,

Why?

Author's Note

Reviews are much appreciated. I'm new to poetry.

Reviews

[BThomvanWart]

This was very...calculating. If that's the right word. Your work had a mapped out feel, like you knew where you wanted it to go or perhaps, you knew where it would go but didn't intentionally know where it would begin. I like that characteristic of your work. It never feels manufactured and sterilized. It's fluid and living, which can be difficult to master. You're definitely a natural at this, so keep up the nice work!

[barleygirl]

What I like about your poetry is that it feels like a story in a little package. I like that there's a clear trajectory to the story, easy to follow, that's what makes your poetry approachable by even those who aren't good at interpreting symbolic & nuanced poetry. In this poem, you've expressed many thing we all experience in love, but you manage to tell a story that sounds unique. Most especially, you've conveyed the intense ambivalence that people always feel when love & hate are intertwined in situations like this. Good job!

[Ajthewriter]

Pretty nice man, I like it. I suggest you beef it up just a little more metaphor wise.

[TheWynnedow]

I really enjoyed this. The beginning of the poem seemingly was another love poem, but as it went on, it became much darker as they fight the urge to hate the person that they once loved--possibly still do love--and instead choose to leave. It's great, really amazing job!

[KingDavid]

Thank yoh for the review. ^_^

[Ryan Riley]

Good write! For someone who has just begun with poetry, I feel you have a good handle on it. You have your own style which is great. I see that you are very discriptive and can tell a good story. Great job

[KingDavid]

Haha. Thanks for the review. I was often I was an empathetic person. I just put that to use. :)

[Rachael Lea]

You did a great job on this. It is almost whimsical. I understand the feeling behind this poem because I am the same way with people. Too forgiving, too feeling, too understanding, that I can relate to the male of this poem. I am sorry if it is you and you had to endure those torn hurt feelings.

[KingDavid]

Haha. Dont worry too much. It isn't me. I was just stepping into someone else's shoes. Thank you for the review~ (^_^)~

[Rachael Lea]

Well that is good to know. I often step into others shoes as well when writing poetry. So long as it is from the heart and it is something the writer is capable of it works out beautifully. You are a natural.

[jesserose99]

This is clearly a loving soul who can forgive, because though unfaithful I feel no bitterness in these words. A pure heart...broken. Beautiful poem. Really enjoyed this though sad!

[KingDavid]

Thank you for the review ~(^_^)~