Midnight

"Do you remember the first time we fell from the cliff..." Pocahontas whispered. Stroking Kocoum's lips which were motionless. The princess paid no mind. She was with her Warrior. They were together and they always would be...

. Two children, a five year old girl and a nine year old boy as different as can be. The boy was rough and liked to fight while girl liked to run and to discover new things. One day, the boy and the girl bumped into one another and they glared at each other. The boy, not knowing who he was talking to demanded an apology. The girl, uncaring, and tired of the boys constant bullying, shoved him. She would show him his place.
And thus their war began.
They would fight and argue every chance they had. Until one day the girl was by the cliff, crying. She had just lost her mother to illness. The boy ran to taunt her and he did, until she pushed him off. He grabbed onto her leathers for leverage: pulling her over the edge as well.
They landed in the river with the boys arms around the girl. She was so angry with him. And he with her, that she fell into his arms crying about her mother.... And he told her that he would be stuck protecting her, that she would not be alone....

"Princess. It is time to take him home." A warrior murmured with a gentle hand on her shoulder. Pocahontas didn't look up, she knew who he was by the tender sound of his voice. Haruko, a tall slim man who had eyes for her best friend. He was Kocoum's best friend, and most loyal soldier. A gentle soul with a strong heart. Like Kocoum, the thought brought the young princess from her tender memory of Kocoum promising to protect her.
"But he is home." The black eyed girl mumbled, stroking Kocoum's strong jawline. Tears filled her lifeless eyes, "His home is with me...he promised." She whispered. Her heart constricted in fear of her warrior being taken away. The tears slipped down her cheeks making the standing warrior flinch. Making his own heart break for the loss of his comrade. He watched her, she was so still, so quiet. Only staring at the fallen warrior as though willing him back to life. Her small body shook with her silent sobs, as she stroked his cheek and lips.
"I cannot let him go." Pocahontas whispered, voice choked in her desperation, her lean body rigid with her anxiety, as though ready to fight. Until she sagged in defeat and swayed with a sigh. This gave Haruko hope, as he gently touched her shoulder again.
"It is for best princess." Haruko implored in a hushed whisper, that made the lost girl before him shake her head. And he tensed, ready to pull the girl aside and restrain her; until she nodded and the warrior released the breath he was holding from fear of the girls wrath, fear of the situation getting out of hand. Pocahontas is a flame which is dimmed by nothing. Fire when irked destroys...
Haruko was brought from his musings, by the sight of the broken girl. What could it be like to watch the one you love die? To be completely lost, broken? What is this like for this young girl who has loved Kocoum for all of her life? He wondered as he looked at the night sky hoping to find answers, praying for his princess...
Pocahontas sat on her haunches silently crying as they laid Kocoum on the leather bed, she gently laid his head and kissed his lips; sighing again as she looked at him one more time. The memories danced around her...
Memories of stolen kisses, and holding hands, running through the woods, and jumping from the cliff. Climbing trees and hide and seek.
Childish dreams meant to come true. A whispered love that was taken too soon. Pocahontas thought as the tears slipped from her eyes again. The throbbing pain only seamed to grow. It only seamed to be able to consume her... Pocahontas placed her hands on her chest and she sighed when she felt a pair of small arms around her shoulders.
"He promised." The princess whispered slowly as If coming from a stupor. "It will be okay..." Kima, her best friend sighed into her shoulder blades. Pocahontas felt herself fall into Kimas embrace as the men walked away with Kocoum.
"I cannot think. I cannot even breathe. It hurts so much..." Pocahontas murmured still lost in the swirling memories around her....

Author's Note

I fixed it I hope please let me know if it needs more work...

Reviews

[Archos]

Here are some ideas to start with (in case you plan to work with the story further):
- I think motionless would be better than unmoving (in the beginning).
- angry with (I believe that's what we use when talking about people, 'at' is used for situations)
- a description of the warrior would help (at least a detail, this way he feels like a character which exists for one particular purpose, try to make him more alive)
- the first part feels rather unfinished (it has potential to be far more powerful)
- there are some errors

Overall, I liked it, especially the second part. I like how the characters behave, and introducing Kima through the touch of her 'small hands' was really nice. Thanks for sharing!

[annalysiar]

Thank you for the review Archos😃😃😃
its always a pleasure to receive your advice and a perspective. I will work on this and fix it. Indo hope I make it better. It honestly felt like something was missing....😥
I'm really glad you enjoyed it and that you took time to read it. Truth: I'm better at poem than stories. But only one way to get better.😃
thanks again😆😆😃😃

[annalysiar]

Hey I fixed it

[Archos]

Nice. I love Haruko's description. Do you make up the names, if I may ask?

[annalysiar]

Yes...i do these ones at least. I wad going for a native feel so I may change it once I look it up