Confused

In this crowded place

I feel very empty

Alone and confused

Drowning in the ocean of crowd

 

Not knowing where to go

I stand here confused

Figuring out my way

Choosing which current to take

 

No one to run to

No one to ask

Not knowing what to believe

And no one to trust

 

But that’s fine

For I knew someday

I will find my way home

Where I truly belong 

Reviews

[Irenic]

a very beautiful in which you especially describe the mind's working of introverts in crowd.
Thanks for sharing:)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are correct my friend.
"But that’s fine
For I knew someday
I will find my way home
Where I truly belong "
I do believe. All of us find our proper place. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[GalaxyGhost]

Being that introverted kid in high school and kinda still am, but I had made more friends, I know what it's like to be alone. I still am on my journey to find what home is to me, but I hope there will be a day. Just taking it one day at a time.

[Wølfy]

Sounds like me as well. I was super shy in high school...still am. I have only managed to make two friends, not counting online friends.

[BlakHeart]

Thank you. And being an introvert is not easy but we have to live with it

[JayG]

Stanza 1: Someone unknown, of unknown gender, age, and culture is in an undefined, but crowded place of unknown size, confused for unknown reasons.

S2 This unknown person stands for an unknown time, not sure of what to do. They are choosing where to go based on no known motive or need. And we're not informed as to why they feel they need to be there, how they got there, or anything that would provide context to make the words meaningful.

S3: They're alone. But since S1 said, "Alone and confused," Why tell them the same thing again, in four lines?

S4: in the first stanza we were in the moment—present tense. That continued through S2, and S3. But now, with no transition, no explanation, or justification, we're in past tense, in a new unknown place, at an undefined time later, talking about how this unknown person somehow knew they would get to...where?

The short version: You're talking to the reader about things for which you haven't given context. You know what's going on and the meaning of it. So for you to has emotional context and meaning. The reader has only what the words suggest to THEM, because your own intent and knowledge doesn't make it past the keyboard.

Your words should entertain, not explain. That means they must have emotional content for-the-reader, based on the reader's background and personality. OR, you provide it for them as part of the poem.

Head for the local library. Find one of those giant omnibus poetry books that take three people to carry. Then open the cover and start to read, till you find the poetry that sets your heart afire. Find what resinates, what makes you smile and weep.

Look online at the work of Billy Collins, Ogden Nash, and even Robert W. Service. Look at the work of people so amazingly talented that they made a living from their poetry. Aside from the fact that it's great fun, you'll get a feel for the kind of poet you want to be—and maybe pick up a few tricks while you're at it.

[JainieJane]

I like the calm pace the way this reads, even when its a bit frightening being lost and alone.

[Ted Kniffen]

A good piece, B. We are all alone, that is the dilemma of being human, because we are also social creatures.
There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. This poem is a good illustration of loneliness. Good write.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

I would call that a light dark piece which speaks of hope in the end. The opening lines present a fine contrast and they remind me of an old song- (Translated from Hindi) When everybody is there I feel that nobody is mine. A sense of loneliness pervades your poem, but the last stanza speaks of hope and makes this poem even better. The language is simple and beautiful- I like your style of writing. Good work. Keep writing.