Mirrors and Smoke

Mirrors and smoke
I guess you can say woke up in fog
Or you can say I didn’t go to sleep at all
I dreamed of mirrors that reflected joy
But the smoke took away the feeling then appeared a boy
Or is it just Mirror and smoke
On the dresser of the empty room stood a picture frame without a photo
Just mirrors and smoke
I stood there in my cold bed no pillows or sheets
Just chills and the room that leaks
Leaks no love, no pain just silence the worse remedy
Then the thoughts came
The darkness hit the fog; the mirror takes your identity
The nights seems like eternity
No outlet of lightness
Righteousness becomes nothing
Then you r heart good that feeling
No beat just leaps of breathes
No loves for steps
Then work lungs work
Your mind see things like your on dope
Your palms are sweaty
Your hands slip from the rope
Whoooo just mirrors and smoke

Reviews

[Jim Clarke]

Although I cannot say I fully understand this poem, I like the way you connected humanity and magic.

[.]

There were some really interesting lines in this poem. You might want to think about starting this poem at the third line. I think the image here is an interesting one and make the reader think to make the association. This means that the line will stick in their memory. If you keep that notion in mind, I think this could be a stronger poem. Like the line "The darkness hit the fog; the mirror takes your identity." "takes your identity" isn't something that sticks in my mind because it's a common phrase in our society with all the identity theft and such, so when I read it, I just kind of go over it without internalizing what is said. If you said it something like takes your fingerprints or skin, or something along those lines, the reader is now more invested in your image and making the connection that you are trying to write. It's a way of engaging the reader more, and having your poem stick out in their minds. It's just something to think about, just an opinion so take it for what it's worth. I hope this helps at least a little. I thought this was a good poem.

[Michael X]

smoke and mirrors, the illusion of being, I love the idea of such false magic creating feelings that fade as smoke and reflections that project like foggy mirrors, only the desire of such to be felt and fleeting,
and the reader can feel the overwhelming desire in all subtlety that sweeps over the event in the making and that being partial to a dream, a want a wish to come true so to speak, I'm sure many people can
relate to the meaning in one way or another, this is skillyfully rendered, thanks for sharing your talent!

[An owl on the moon]

Loved the deep movement and flow of this piece... Captivating, covered in brilliant mist, and emotionally gripping... Amazing!

[ICE]

This flowed very well. I just loved it....

[Kelley]

This was a very cool poem! I loved your use of words and they flowed
like darkness coming into the world.

Great write thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[Dionysus Cain]

Yeah i liked it to , nice use of the same content. Mirrors and smoke... I enjoy the plot of this poem and it's energy .

[Wunderlich]

I love the flow and the repetition of the line "mirrors and smoke". Excellent job :D

[Tracie Skarbo]

I liked the theme of this one...mirrors and smoke.

Nicely done.

Tigra

[Lyzzy Redd]

Really good poem!!! I especially like "The darkness hit the fog; the mirror takes your identiy".