Another thing about life

Kindly read this first http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Kilani/525872/

 

“Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel,” imagine the contradiction of living both, thinking about life, knowing what is its true essence and value and feeling every single thing about it, living both comedy and tragedy, the ultimate drama, ache of both mind and heart, and loss of soul.

 

“never take it seriously, you’ll never leave it alive,” I’ve always lived with that saying, being smart somehow, watching over my heart since I’m sensitive and emotional, I’ve always tried to have an emotional intelligence, separate personal from professional, dealing with facts more than rumors and making excuse for others’ actions by putting myself in there shoes, and I lived well until this very day, I managed to deal with disappointment, grief, poverty, injustice and all kinds of dismay this life could bring, even death, I never feared death, never felt sorry for anyone’s death nor departure, because I simply saw it coming, every time.

 

I have face the worst of emotions this life could present, and I’m not exactly what you can call a happy person, still I smile, still I carry on, I still have hope, although I know life will end by death, and every path I take will someday end, every person I know will someday leave, and all the effort I made in life would go in vain, even if simple, just as making a smile a day on someone’s face, all is bound to oblivion.

 

Yes I’m being personal, wise and emotional, and this is the first to go this far, combining all that in one piece of writing, but such thoughts hit you when you say farewells, I never was good at goodbyes, because I know they are to come, and I know I would yearn, feel sad or even mad about someone’s departure, but this is life, and we are all but hitchhikers, strangers whom paths cross, ride along for a while, some might enjoy that ride and some might not, but the journey keeps going.

 

Knowing such facts should make me pissed off, depressed or even suicidal, well, I was, and believe me it’s not a good experience; attempting suicide that is, I’ve seen people try it, and it wasn't pleasant at all, knowing that a person you shared time with has ended his or her time by their own hands just because life was unfair to them, just because they were sad, a scene of a blooded friend has shocked me yet opened my mind to many thoughts, I imagined myself in her place that day, I imagined my funeral, and what would people I knew say, what memories would they have, probably nothing, just a sad pale face of some uncomfortable presence, this is what they’d remember, perhaps they’d remember how I used to be pissed off, always nagging and complaining about things I couldn’t get or do, just because my depression forbid me from doing it, just because I gave up to fear, just because I couldn’t stare life in the eye… imagine if that person was you !!

 

Am I a happy person now, well, I’m still not, but I became a person who would enjoy a moment of happiness as long as it lasts, I get depressed, I get weak and I get pissed off just like anyone else, but at the middle of distress moments I think to myself; “is that how you want to be remembered? Is that what you want to remember when you’re 60, a life of sadness and anger, a life of guilt and shame, and who then would you blame but yourself, would you want to live with regret, behind your cigarette all by yourself, all alone, just because you couldn’t smile the other day, just because you’ve hurt someone you could’ve spared from pain, just because you couldn’t carry on and be strong… is that how you want your life to end.”

 

A wise friend once told me “never do something that will hunt you in future” and I already know that what goes around comes around, and I know I could hurt everyone easily and still have company, but instead I make people smile, not because they deserve it, not because it’s the only thing I can do and not because I have to, but I do that because one day my name will run across their minds and they’ll remember what I did, and one day it would all come around, some of my friends might read this, they probably don’t know that I could’ve hurt them when I had a chance, and I had many chances to do that, but if I did, what good would that do?

 

So life is unfair I assure you that, it starts with birth and it ends with death, but in between they are moments where you can actually feel alive, even through pain, because no one can live happily for ever, even that becomes dull you’d start looking for dismay just to maintain some balance, I believe that It's only when your on top you have the desire to fall , not to harm yourself but only to see who would ease your fall , it's only when someone seeks your love you run away , not that your afraid , but only because it's forced to be yours' you rebel against it.

Yet again is it blasphemous to feel good??

It’s blasphemous not to.

 

You might want to smile, think, over think or even feel sad once you reach this part, and that’s not a bad thing, because somehow you are feeling good, and no I didn’t do any kind of magic or mind games, I’m just stating facts, “theories” if you don’t believe in facts or rules, you may like it or hate it, and that is yours to decide, I didn’t lead you to what ever status you are in, I didn’t omit or stress words that made you feel the way you do now, your subconscious just did.

 

You have dug the deepest of your mind and heart just to come up with these conclusions, I only cleansed the doors of your perception and you don’t owe me a thing, perhaps a smile… that would do.

 

So now I come to the part that fits the title, “another thing about life” well I don’t know much about life, but I know a lot about MY LIFE, and I know that if Seek dismay, dismay you'll find, seek joy dismay you'll find again, as you sought pure joy and pure dismay ... spread joy, joy you'll gain, spread dismay, dismay is yours again, as you keep some of them for yourself and get more in return.

And now that you know these things about life, what is it going to be ??

 

Author's Note

Reviews are welcomed, as always

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

"So life is unfair I assure you that, it starts with birth and it ends with death, but in between they are moments where you can actually feel alive, even through pain, because no one can live happily for ever, even that becomes dull you’d start looking for dismay just to maintain some balance, "
Good logic in the words. Balance is the key. Can't make all people happy. Life is to know pleasure and happiness. Try to live in peace with the people around us. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote

[Butterfly]

dude your awesome. I love your s**t. we should chit-chat.

[M.Kilani]

dude thank you... yeah I don't mind chit-chats but sadly my time is short... 14 hours of work a day, but thanks again!

[Butterfly]

this s**t is funny

[olla]

good inspirational words for contemplation.. well done..