White Blind Light

un-edited stream of consciousness

A new page not of poetry 

A new page of destiny 

And a new start 

For mind more than heart 

All fears and desires now awake

Awake and await for a mistake 

As the numb skin dies on shore 

Bleeds the mind and asks for more

Were they rainbow eyes 

Were they wild horses' 

Or were they none 

A crow in the sun 

Should I even say

Or wait until May

Horses, heavens and rainbows

Black, pain and maze 

Son of Sun is gone 

Cries upon my shoulder 

Try, die and cry 

Try again as you get older 

Winter would you end

No more rain descend

World would you stop

I breathe as I drop 

All there promises were wrong

All to the very last song 

Words, freedom and birds

They all soar free, but not me

And she 

Is there a room for me 

Or am I to face another shelf 

Await a fall from a cliff 

what about me 

Another season died 

Another night I sighed 

would this ever end 

and I've never asked why 

Why should I try 

Why do promises fall in order 

Why did he die 

why can't sun be colder 

I remember the smell 

The words they used to tell 

And my screams across the meadow

Where's moon at my window 

Why did I become what I have always fought

Aren't we but a thought

And a lie 

Why now Why me ... why 

Why do dawns escape the scene behind forests of concrete 

Why do rivers change their ways to the lands of the rich ones 

And why do they kill our sons

In chaotic matter of her presence I find all right answers for wrong questions 

I find gods and devils in her mind I find a world and an order

I find music and butterflies demons and angels fighting me 

I find myself mesmerized I can't even tell, a soldier

The arbitrary paradox  haunts me 

it urges the deepest of my mind to question everything 

Why she turns her head to hear the words I utter 

Why am I undead and why is my door knocked by another 

What hides behind her sigh, what life awfully did 

intonation, exaggeration, interrogation 

education, inspiration, observation 

reded fingers and stains of tar

anticipation, vindication and intoxication 

I was poisoned by my thoughts 

dreaded by despair 

I yearn wilderness for no reason 

I yearn her there 

under skies where she was unknown 

under ragged stars and blooded moon

starring horizon in the eye 

thinking; tomorrow I'll stay a child

I yearn now homelessness and empty street

Her echo at the voice of my weakened feet

when she was a dream I chase in headlights

A rush of blood that evokes my fights

But now I see her right before my eyes

Perhaps another ghost

I no longer can tell truth from lies

how can I be that lost 

I write for a stranger 

that I feel I well known 

again my heart I endanger 

again I'm awake another dawn

as I lay with a heartache 

physical that is, do not mistake 

I think of all possibilities if I ran away 

If I died What would she say 

I am an outcast of the world of filth 

I try not to be on my own 

but I fail every day, I wish for death 

I fall like a stone 

two months since I last got paid 

what good now can I do 

and pride is about to fade 

love me why would you 

I promise nothing but a smile 

And a portion of agony 

that I can give for a while 

for that is what's left of me 

at the stream of my consciousness I find it hard 

Hard to go on, hard to move on and hard to weep 

as the music plays and fades away 

as I lay down to sleep 

I find nothing but more chaos because of your absence 

more questions and more verses for me to write 

as I stare down my fingers 

I thank god for the white blind light 

Author's Note

Reviews are welcomed

Reviews

[Namaa Hammond]

This is so amazing and the best part about it is i literally felt the emotions and chills up and down my spines and the sensation of the burning wrist (if u know what i'm talking about) by reading this! It's like every ounce of your emotions were spilled on this piece and woven in and drawn out and perfectly imprinted! And i can really connect and relate to this of course =) keep up the pure epic and clearly stated work

[Janna Nicole]

"A new page not of poetry
A new page of destiny
And a new start
For mind more than heart"

Excellent stanza. I love it.
Feed the mind in order to nurture the heart.

[TL Boehm]

Were they rainbow eyes
Were they wild horses'
Or were they none
A crow in the sun

I love the place that these staccato images take me. There is so much more to this poem but for the moment - my heart came to rest on the above - well penned.

[M.Kilani]

Thank you very much, I'm really glad you like these lines.
Thanks again,
Mohammad.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. So much pain and decisions in the poem. I like the flow of thoughts and the search for something to hold on to and believe in. I did like the positive ending to the poem. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Diablo-Doom]

piece of art no other word can i say !

[The Winter Grey]

. . .

How can something be personal and transcendant? How can something so lengthy only continue to draw me in further, despite an ADD-like obsession to move on? Because you, sir, have written an amazingly lyrical, painfully relatable piece of art.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I enjoyed this read very much, sometimes I see glimpses of the 'old you' in the 'new you', you have certainly changed as a poet since I've been reading you.