A poem that could be yours

 

Anonymous I’ll keep you

Hidden will be your face

Yet what I feel is true

And it’s a matter of grace

 

Hidden your identity shall be

As you are my secret, kept untold

Still those words long to be free

“With you I want to grow old”

 

You are my ocean, under the burning sun

I keep your name deep in my heart

A mile or miles we might be apart

Yet I feel we are as one

I make lies to tell what's true
So find the truth in my lies
Yours I'll be if you only knew
If you understand my disguise

Reviews

[Ubiquitous]

I love the rhythm, and the theme. Heck, I love the entire thing. It's great!

[Silent Knight]

Beautiful. I really like this one.

[Coyote Poetry]

A wise man keep quiet when he has something good. The poem is amazing.
"You are my ocean, under the burning sun "
I like the strong lines and the kind story in your words. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Bard Constantine]

Nice job with this... it speaks of the yearning for understanding, but with the contrasting fear of exposure... seeing what one wants but unable to reach out and take it...

[Michael X]

this poem speaks metaphor very clearly, and with defining feature,
and the way you opened the firstsentence to coincide with the first
word in the second sentence it a nice, catchy feature.
rest rests of the poem breathes, its purely well thought out.

[Nyida Strong]

I didn't see the earlier version, but I do like the flow of this piece. You can feel sorrow and a hind of hope, odd combination, but well done. Very much enjoyed this piece!

N. Strong

[Dark Angel]

This is better... Not so forced anymore ^_^

[Dark Angel]

I don't mean to be the mean critic but the last third of this poem seems a little forced. The rhyme is awesome and the meaning behind rings true but it seems as if you felt this way before but when you were writing it, you lost the feeling and that you were only guessing what feelings should be next. It just seems like a poem you started at one point, then put down, and picked it back up a few weeks later.

[Moonflower]

I loved the first couple stanza's, I really felt them, but overall this is a wonderful piece from you, sorrowful and lovely