Twenty-eighth Letter: Too many options may kill a man

Mark find himself in a cross road where he has got to choose the best of the best options he faces, except for one.

Dear Brandy, 

I have been holding myself from writing this letter for a long time, but I guess the time has finally come; to start with I congratulate you on finishing med-school, I feel happy for you but my letter can't express it enough, your come back after a month of absence made me feel happy as well, although I feel things have changed somehow, I know you're now starting a new phase of your life, I hope it's a better one and I hope you'd feel better about it.

I have received your invitation to your graduation ceremony I will do everything I can to attend it, I will attend it, just to share the few hours of joy with you.

Few has changed since last time I saw you, I would love to tell you in person but I know how busy you are lately and you already know how busy I am, and I'm glad I was busy, I kept myself busy during the time you disappeared but that didn't mean I have not thought of you, every morning, every night and every minutes I was awake you came across my mind, even when I'm having a drink, even the finest of drinks; the finest of whiskey, bourbon and wine could not make me forget the finest of women, but I know you needed to be left alone, and to be honest I thought we'd never talk again, and that made me sad and angry during that month, I wrote 26 letters for you and I threw them away the second I opened my mailbox and read your letter with the invitation with it, my mail box was full of letters; job offers, invitations and a copy of Amy's book, Chronicles of Nyx, she didn't finish it but she sure made a great story, she'll be leaving along with Helen in less than a month, Helen has became successful as well, and it seems to me that what I write in my letters comes true somehow, one day I will write what I want perhaps it would become true just like what I expected in the previous letters; Amy made an apology to me in her book, I never thought that she would, especially after what we've been through, especially after she knew how much you mean to me, she apologized for not being devoted to me as before, it has touched me, especially when she said that I was the only one who helped her through her struggle through addiction, it made me feel humane again, and she explained that she moved away for isolation. All I can do is to wish her well, she is a true friend, and I miss her already.

Among the letters there were many job offers as I told you one of them was in my home town, and there was a letter from my parents saying that my father is going to leave the country and head northeast, to another country this time, and that my mother will go along, he's been very violent since his retirement, even worse after his return to the country, A hard working man he is, he has always been, I'm proud to be his son, but I'm afraid to become him, as much as I wish to be free, I am afraid to be that free, I know I would feel homeless, and useless. For some reason it scares me, the fact that he's going to work north scares me, he was lucky enough to return home before the Syrian civil war, the civil war which spelled into our land, or at least it effect did, who would imagine such a thing would happen in such a peaceful country, but again, this time he's going to Kurdistan, they say it's peaceful there, but I've seen so much violence in the past two years, and I know that no place is safe. I'm thinking of returning home, to take care of my sisters and brother, take that job offer, and perhaps gain some peace, my brother is old enough to take care of the house but I prefer to be around. Leo has made me a better offer though, he knows how much pressure I'm under, having two jobs and no one around to comfort, he knew how much it effects the person to work in news business all day, so he suggested that we shut down the newspaper, and that I quit working for the news agency, but I feel some kind of petty in his offer, especially that I was his partner, and now I became an employee, the second in command, true, but if I am to work for someone it's better be worth it, therefore I'm considering all offers I'm having, even the agency made ma a good offer, they said I could get another promotion. It feels good to be wanted by many, it means that I am that good, but then again, too many options may kill a man, unlike everything else you are the only thing that is not optional.

Brandy my dear, during the past month I figured out how much I am attached to you,everyone knows it, everyone can see it in my eyes, I admit that I loved you, and yo already know that I do, I told you that three years ago, but the distance made it easy for me to ignore that feeling, since the beginning I was working to improve myself, so that when the time is right I'd be ready, ready to promise you of what you deserve,  I'm not saying that the time is perfectly right, but I know I'm close, so close I can taste it in the air, all pieces are falling in the right order, all this pressure I've been under is soon to pay, it had made me stronger, smarter and more mature. 

Dear Brandy, I hope this letter finds you, and I hope it finds you well, few weeks ago this would have been a farewell letter, it would have included many goodbyes, you, Amy, Helen and my parents, the four of them will return, but it was you that I feared to depart. 

The time is 3:25 right now, that gives me the time to smoke another cigarette before I pray, tonight I will pray the same prayer I've been reciting for a month, may God gather us again, may God show me away out of this maze I'm in, make the right choices and give me peace of mind and heart, and may God give me the strength to fulfill what I've promised you, 

until we meet again my dearest, be safe, be sane and be well.

Yours truly, 

 Mark 

Author's Note

Reviews are welcomed.

Reviews

[B. Maaitah]

:/

[TL Boehm]

there is that sense that Mark is truly pouring himself into this letter to Brandy as he describes his situation - as he ends it with a prayer.
Well penned.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful letter. I like letters. Always a personal feel to them. I like the feel of love and kindness in the words. I believe it is a talent to be able to read letters with meaning and purpose. Thank you for sharing the outstanding letter.
Coyote