Insomnia part X

Another scene about a man who suffers insomnia

He holds his lighter and cigarette "One last cigarette," he whispers "there's always time for one last cigarette, for months this flame was lit all night long, but not tonight, maybe the night can wash the darkness away."

In the dark night a flame emerges through black toxic carbon, as the sliver wheel turns to burn white thin paper, "inhale and a sigh" dawn breaks unveiling the unknown, painting a coat of hope over fear, to cast a light over a smirk, "tick tock tick tock, you'll find no answer in the wheel you crook" 

"How many have walked away, how many came and how many have stayed, gather by flame, departed in smoke, if only the lighter can speak and talk."

"How many more cigarettes? All those sparks, all those flint, all those nicotine stains and all this lighter's fume, couldn't wash a way a thought, and a memory of a perfume."

With the last cigarette of the night comes one last thought, as he sips the last of his cold black bitter coffee; his wife as he once was told, he smiles and remembers flame reflecting in those eyes; "can fire cleanse what man has blackened?" he replies with silence, inhales more smoke, sips more coffee and sighs.

"They were red weren't they?" he turned around to face that last voice, he smells something in the air, "Red, dark red, red and deep, just like the wine in your hand, and they turned into crimson with a reflection of a flame," he holds his lighter and smells its fuel, "coxcomb-red hair and eyes were viper black"

"A sigh emerges from gates of hell, the forbidden yet desired gates, a sigh after inhaling smoke to turn off the flame in anger, depression and dismay... then silence." said another one of them voices

"it burns," he holds the lighter and ticks its wheel " just like this flame it burns, although it's cold"

"Too much nicotine for one last thought, as the night grows older as it only gets colder, along with lack of warmth, thoughts go back and forth, all behind another cigarette."

A feminine voice whispers "Why do humans always do the wrong thing, why don't they listen when someone tells them what's right," he looks for the source of that voice "are they being rebellious? Perhaps they don't see the aftermath. Still I am a lighter, I may not understand, but I don't need to, I will always do what I'm meant to do... light them cigarettes and illuminate in darkness. Nothing can can dim my flame, nothing can bend my steel.

"The voices in the place is what heart means, the reflection in coffee is but what mind projects, what smoke shades and what the flame shapes," the one in a neat suit said " you need to wake up."

"But I'm never asleep," he said "and I'm never awake."

"Nothing really matters at the end, no one will care if the lighter is working, it won't make a difference until its flame dies, only then someone might care, either fill it with fuel or leave it for time to cover it in dust."

"Tick tock tick tock you didn't look into your clock" 

3:43 was the time, all voices were gone, his cigarette was done.

It's easy to escape reality into a world of our creation," he typed down; "no one is truly awake, almost everyone is daydreaming, but what's really hard is to escape dreamland into reality in a way that makes life feel like a dream," he takes a sip of his coffee, sees a reflection on its surface, although it was dark, so dark that light can't escape its surface, he remembered her eyes, he saw numbers in that reflection; 333 as he started to faint he whispered :"especially when you have insomnia."

Author's Note

Reviews are welcomed.

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

This was a thoughtful piece, despite the overlapping voices and contradictions. There were so many mentions of smoke and fumes, I could feel a slight narrowing in my chest. The question 'what did the author really mean?' is wrong, so you leave me to conclude on my own. It really does remind me of the half-conscious, melancholic scribbles of an insomniac person. Awake, facing the echoes of his thoughts.

"...everyone is daydreaming..." You are so right about that. Thank you for sharing a piece of stained, unadmitted truth with us. Keep writing.

-youoweyoupay

[M.Kilani]

Thank you my dear for taking time to read this... There's a catch in all Insomnia scenes that are meant to be vague.. But you pointed out the major mystery of the entire book... Which is the theme itself... Cigarettes and fumes took the spotlight in this one, unlike the others before, every item and voice symbolize something that is meant to be kept ambiguous... And is supposed to unveil itself through chapters.

There's a documentary called "waking lives" I believe you should watch it... The chaotic theme of it relates to this book somehow!
Thanks again dear,
Mohammad

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the real life feel of the story. Use of cigarettes, writing and thoughts create a strong lead character. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote