Occupied by the ghosts

Occupied by the ghosts

A Story by Kichu



‘You are late again!’ alarmed my amygdala repeatedly, ‘the doctor would have scores of others fighting for his time’. Although my stomach let a sheepish rumble, I ignored it glancing at the loaf of bread on my cupboard, will bite it when I return from the hospital.


Grabbing my wristwatch and tinkering with my belt, I bolted out, closing the door shut and pressing for the lift.


The local metro was crowded as usual, but no matter what the crowd, the gentlemen in the first class compartment wouldn’t occupy the seat for the handicapped. Even when the train is packed, that one seat near the door would stay vacant as if occupied by a ghost that everyone acknowledges.


The doctor didn’t look angry when I entered his cabin half-an-hour late, instead he looked morose, he asked me to sit and started presenting the test results sequentially.

At the point he said, “It’s stage IV.”
My ears switched off at that point as if on mute.
I couldn’t remember hearing anything of what he said after.


After the visit, I returned home, the rumble in my tummy grew louder, I reached for the bread. Light-green mushy fungal mass had spread to almost every loaf.
For a moment, the loaf of bread looked like a mirror, reflecting my whole life. Should not have wasted an entire loaf of bed, should have enjoyed it to the fullest when I had the time.


I got back into the metro, to get some groceries, and a loaf of bread.
I stood next to the ghost seat, but something written on its signboard caught my attention, a detail I never noticed in all these years,
Seat reserved for handicapped and cancer patients


Just then I got a call from my mother, I picked it up,

“Ma, I have good news and bad news for you,”

“Okay…. What is the good news?”

“I would no longer have to stand in the metro again.”  

With a chuckle, she replied “Oh, that is wonderful, now what is the bad news?”


THE END         

© 2018 Kichu


Author's Note

Kichu
Please occupy the below space with your comments :)

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Outstanding content inside this story!!
Wasn't boring even for a flicker...each words and lines were just amazing to read...the bad news you left unwritten, left on the readers to understand...which was actually easy to guess but thrilling at the same time...am absolutely agreeing to emma, this story needs to be read!! Thanks for sharing☺!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the review once again Tahsin. I am humbled. Feel free to share this with your friends .. read more
¿

6 Years Ago

I will and a xerox of this piece will be in my library!!
You're heartedly welcome😊!



Reviews

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Posted 3 Years Ago


Glad emmajoy shared this with me!! entertaining and suspenseful I enjoyed reading this. Nice job!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


I really liked this story...I can hardly imagine what a person feels when he gets to know that he is already in the 4th stage of cancer...You know your story had a flow which took away the reader along with it..Not even for a single moment , I found it boring..And the way you expressed yourself was just amazing..I really liked the plot..It was so different from what we usually read..Actually the very first sentence where you say alarmed my amygdala , for a moment I was in thought but the very next moment I understood..It was the most creative and interesting way that I had ever encountered so far while reading stories to say that a person is thinking something..Actually right from the first to the last sentence , I loved every single bit of it...You are a great writer indeed...I am eager to read more of your writings..
Keep on writing...

Posted 6 Years Ago


A dear friend sent a read request for me for your story and I trust her impeccable taste. I found your style of writing beautiful. you let the story unfold in a very interesting manner. Comparing unappreciated time of a life to a tray of buns is brilliant.
Welcome to writerscafe. I hope you make a lot of friends and enjoy writing here on WC .

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your wishes Mrudula. I hope I get to make many friends and also get to read some great.. read more
Mrudula Rani

6 Years Ago

You are welcome, Kichu. All the best.
my dear friend emmjoy sent me to your pages ;)
i like your Author's Note ... nice way to put it .. i recognized "amygdala" right away but could not remember what it is ..so looking it up ..my nurses education came sweeping back to me .. great stuff sir! very strong closing for me ...cancer touches most everyone one way or another ... the story is starkly human .. tragic with that touch of humor many people express in such tough situations .. well done says i! i pray this is not confessional .. but whether yes or no it seems something that has knocked on your door :( .. a couple very small things you might consider with the writing of this...the mold spread to all the loaves .. initially there is one loaf .. so i think you may mean the mold spread to all the slices ...in V4 last line it ends with "after" and i think repeating it in V5 L1 is weak ...
those two very minor things you might think about .. i think the theme of this is incredibly strong and relevant .. universal .. relevant ... so much so that the form doesn't enter into things .. its smooth but difficult reading because of the tragedy .. i am really glad you couple cancer in with handicapped conditions ... never would have thunk it ;) God bless you ... with health and peace and comfort
E.
ps. title and use of the ghost seat is brilliant!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A sad story written. You took the reader with you into the places and the thoughts. A powerful and worthwhile write.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your generous review CP :)
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.
Somehow, that comparison of life with the loaf of bread has stuck to me. This is indeed a brilliant piece of writing. Sorrowful in its content but it definitely reaches out to this reader.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

I am glad that you like it Dr. More to come. stay tuned.
Thoroughly enjoyed this short story with the details and the events. It is little mysterious and grabbing. Thank you for sharing Kichu.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the review Sami Khalil
An interesting and enjoyable tale with an unexpected ending... Neville

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the lovely review Neville :D.
Neville

6 Years Ago

my pleasure entirely sir..... Neville
I enjoyed reading this short story after a friend requested I give it a look. The ending had a strong impact. Good news/ bad news scenario. You know the bad is going to be bad. Thank you

Chris

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kichu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the wonderful review Chistine. I am happy you enjoyed the read as much as many of my o.. read more

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424 Views
15 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 8, 2018
Last Updated on July 8, 2018
Tags: love, Dark, Life, Sad, adventure, death, depression

Author

Kichu
Kichu

Mumbai, Maharastra, India



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