Here lays your freedom

Sitting here listening to the beat of the world

I look to the ballroom

There are dancers some keeping time

Others stepping on others feet

Some trying desperately to keep to that ungodly beat

They yell at you from the side lines

“Move those feet! Don’t dance feely! Dance as instructed or the worst will befall you!”

I sit here and watch

How do they expect you to follow through their intricate steps

When so many others step on your dance floor

And what of the glass they themselves have laid under our feet

And that awful beat stuck in repeat

Will someone stand and release them from this dance so thy may be free

Alas no

For I shall write and you may read

And finally understand

You are freed

Reviews

[G!o]

Lovely concept well written with some amazing lines. I love this and i adore how you finished. Good writing Kiari.

[Cole Hayley]

"I look to the ballroom, there are dancers some keeping time, other stepping on others feet"

A lovley write.

[Mockingbird]

brings to mind having to go with the flow and it is very oppressive to dance to everyone else's beat. it's good to remind us of our individuality.

[Mark]

The constrictions we allow to be placed on us are numerous. Love the last lines of this one Kiari. :)

[Pax]

freedoms...the images you wrote..made me imagine those times like in the movies...nice write my friend.

[Fréyjä Helv..]

Ok, the thought is good. The structure, I'm not feeling it. You might not wanna use the 'thy' word if your entire poem doesn't use old English. Or you'll build this weird atmosphere in your poem. But thought and concept, I thought it brilliant...

[Heromen Selena]

This is a good poem. I like the concept of freedom here. Nice job.