My Daily Escape

 December 3, 2009

 

My name's Kiana Mahjub, I'm thirteen, and I'm starting my escape. I'm going to add to this as though an update type thing in ways... I just feel like I need to be heard... I'll add a new thingy for everyday I have a chance to write... I can't promise much... I'm going to probably keep a personal one of these in a notebook in case of well...anything. 

I've always had my problems in life. And I probably don't handle them that well. I keep things inside myself. And when I let them flow out it doesn't work out that well...

 

Today;

Today was okay in ways. I went to school (which was all right...) I wore my hair curly today and it was rather awkward. I met Michael after school as always. No he's not my boyfriend... He's my friend Derricks boyfriend. Obviously meaning they're gay. Derricks family is really religious and won't let him see Michael and blahblahblah so I exchange notes between them. Which I don't mind at all. But I ended up missing my bus today which sucked. So... I had to walk in the cold to my house. Which didn't blow over that well.

I saw some guys I got high with once, and I ended up getting dragged in with them and well...eh... Basically, they ended up having to help me to my house. Well, Tyler and some dude who's name I always forget. But, I swear someone laced it with something because that s**t ain't normal... Well... I got home and layed down for a bit till I heard my mom come home so then I had to run to my room. 

Well...later, around six, I decided to go on a walk. While heading out I grabbed one of my moms cigarettes. When walking I found this tree my friend Shade and me climbed one day and I ended up falling out of it and blah blah blah. Well... even though it was pitch black and below freezing I climbed up it. I stood up there and then I had this weird feeling I get sometimes. The feeling of wanting to run and be free forever.

I've had these feelings ever since I watched the movie Into The Wild.  And I really just want to be free. I'll sneak out of my room at midnight sometimes just to walk around town and feel free. Sometimes I tell myself things like, "Just keep walking, Kiana, don't stop till your free" but I can't do that... Not yet.

If I do run away to be free, it'll be well thought out, just like it was in Into The Wild. So... that's what I'm hoping to accomplish out of typing all of this. I don't care if people read this, I just want something to say my thoughts to and this is most convenient. 

 

P.s.... none of this is going to be fake or made up. All truth. 

 

~Kiana GlitterGuts

Reviews

[Dan Hiland]

Reading this reminds me of how I felt at your age- which is about the time I started writing things. A lot of what you have written here could be expanded into something very interesting. Especially that portion about climbing a tree at night in the freezing cold. Walking around at night helps a lot of things to come out in the open, as well. Hope you're writing that stuff down, too.

I hope you are able to find a way to turn some of what you share here into stories or essays, because you seem to have a lot to say.

Thanks for sharing this.