Lost and Broken

I dream and hope for something better. I step forward to take that dream and make it reality. But then a dark cloud rises and snuffs out that hope. The dream cracks and breaks before my very eyes.  I reach a hand out and watch as the dust sprinkles through my fingers. Why? Why was this dream so wrong? How could this ideal not become reality? Why did this path not lead on? I cry. I cry over the pain. I cry in despair and grief at the thought of becoming lost again in this maze of pathways. Why can't I be this person? Why can't I  have this goal? The foreboding cloud of uncertainty and failure seep back into the cracks in my heart. I'm useless. What talent have I to give the world? Yes I can sing, but so can thousand more. Yes, I can write but so can others. What makes me different? What makes me better? I don't know. Disney can craft a fine story about following your heart and choosing your own destiny. Making the path you see fit. But what story do I have to lean on when there is no path. There is no destiny. There are no colors in my wind. I don't have hope. My determination wavers. My heart has taken so many beatings. I lose desire, Let me curl into myself and let me die. If there is nothing I can do, then why must my purgatory here continue. Why must I live in vain. No matter, what I come up with. I will never find what makes me special. I will never find what makes me whole. I have so many things I wish to do. But why must my dreams be the only ones snuffed out and turned to dust? I'm just an ordinary woman. I have nothing to offer the world. I have no uniqueness. I have dreams. I know heartache and grief. I know love and happiness. I know betrayal. I face them everyday. But to what end? What is my purpose. What is it I am to accomplish. This I do not know. I cannot see nor can I hear. I'm Lost and Broken.