A mistake Committed

A free-verse poem

"So, you are the one who preaches prophecies,

And you are the one who's optimistic,

So, why do you muse over the tiny thing,

When you know there's so much more to life?"

'I care not for myself but my family,

They care for this diminutive detail,

I've been mindless and exhausted,

But I curse myself for it.'

"You've given your best, I know,

No better could you do,

Worked hard you have, I am aware,

Be confident of your God."

'It doesn't matter if I give my all,

The output doesn't suffice,

No appeased am I of myself,

I've failed my family.'

"Practice more. You can improve.

You have the potential,

You can live your dream,

Comprehend and live with little failures."

'Practice, practice, practice!

Everyone says so twenty four-seven,

I've worn my fingers out,

Suspended all I could for practicing!'

"Are you so happy when you win

As gloomy you've turned

After this unconscious mistake?

You've gained more than lost!"

'Who cares what I gain!

They laugh at my loss,

I've nothing to be proud of,

I'm hopeless, a disappointment!'

"I can't say more, my honey,

But that the failures are essential

To be glad while winning,

I'm you Heart, honest enough!"

'As right as rain you are,

But I am the Mind and I govern,

I don't think you've been good enough,

And I am as honest as the Heart'

Author's Note

:) Please be truthful with the reviews.. ^_^ Thanks to all.

Reviews

[Misha]

Firstly thank you for sharing such a nice poem and secondly a person who is so creative to pen down her feelings in such a beautiful way can be disappointment at all. Just believe in yourself, live like you want to and love yourself foremost. See yourself as a winner and you are already halfway...keep writing and sharing.

[Khyati]

^_^ Thanks sooooooooo much for encouraging dear..

[RAOrourke]

"Practice more. You can improve.

You have the potential,

You can live your dream,

Comprehend and live with little failures
These lines ring so true, message well taken in your writing!

[Khyati]

:) Thanks so much, friend ^_^

[Alex Boyd]

Sorry for the lateness but truthfully I have already read some of you work... I love your imagination... Your choices on subject matter is also wonderful.... I especially enjoy "My encounter with God." Giving up writing very humorous... Keep up the good work I do wish to end up on your level for I am just novices whose looking for advancement...

[Khyati]

Alex! Liar! You want to end up at my level? Why do you want to come down?
I strive to be better and to be as good as you are...
And I thank you to the core for encouraging me soooo much :)

[Alex Boyd]

I don't even consider myself great until I'm published... I still need to work on my grammar.... All I have is great ideas for stories..... We all are writers my friend that should encourage each other but thank you for thinking so highly of me.....

[Khyati]

:) Thanks to you, friend, for reviewing my write-up :)

[George Peck]

This is very deep and moving it can seem to ourselves sometimes that we are a disappointing, but we are our own worse enemy. We are hard on ourselves I've felt like this poem a few times in my life then I realized I was putting myself down for no reason and if people really felt that way then they need to stay away. The poem as deep as it is is beautiful as well, flows great you can feel your a motion in it. Thank you for sharing I love it even if it's a bit depressing.

[Khyati]

:) Thanks soooo much :)

[M.E.Lyle]

I'm picturing a great classical battle between your heart and your mind. I don't know whose winning. I think you bring readers along with you on your struggle to discovering who you are.
It's hard to be critical of this piece because I can't find much to be critical about. It may have been a bit choppy here and there, but overall, a wonderful piece of work.

[Khyati]

oh! Thanks sooo much for encouraging! ^_^

[lovergirl]

always believe in your self even when no one else does , making mistakes isn't wrong it's how u deal with'em what counts , you shouldn't give a great deal to what people say live as you like and do what you like and most importante is have confident that everything will be OK :)
Over all , nicely done i liked this piece it's very meaningfull
Ps: Plz what do u mean by "I'm you Heart" ??

[Khyati]

It was actually the Heart of the person talking to him/her.
Thanks for the review :)

[lovergirl]

ah okey i get it now
you're welcome , my pleasure

[Khyati]

:) .......

[Sanjh]

hmmmmmm, first of all, you are not a disappointment. I know you don't believe this yourself, it's just a state of mind which comes into picture every now and then. Believe in people around you, use them as a support to reach to your goals, try hard and most of all believe in yourself. When anything bad happens, there are two choices, to cry over the mistakes you've committed or to find out those mistakes and make sure that you don't repeat it.

Nicely written, great going...:)
thank you for sharing...:)

[Khyati]

Thanks sooooo much bhaiya ^_^ You gave me words of encouragement :)

[Sanjh]

haaaaaaaaaan, maybe someday I'll start implementing these words myself too...:(

[Khyati]

:) We will help each other, ALLL along the way, Promise?

[Sanjh]

yeah, promise..:)

[Khyati]

promise :) and thanks again for commenting :)

[Hailey noice]

I love it, makes me want to follow my dreams and look to my friends and family for support.

[Khyati]

:) Thanks so much. :) Friends and family are life givers ;) Ain't they? :)

[Hailey noice]

Yes thry are.

[Khyati]

:) .......

[Laura Lynn]

This brings me encouragement to be right with God and figure out what that means and not to loose heart or sight of what is important and who and how to love both family and friends and unknown people and how we have a heart

[Khyati]

:) A great message you conceived ... Thanks for the review, my friend.