Chapter 6

Why the hell did I let Paul talk me into going out tonight? I looked terrible! I stood in my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, I had purple bags underneath my eyes and my eyes themselves were puffy and red from crying so much. I had red blotches all over my usually clear skin; I couldn’t let people see me like this. I decided to breathe in and out slowly to regain my strength so my face could go back to normal.

          After about 10 minutes, the blotchiness went away and my eyes were starting to go back to normal. So I brushed my long black hair and threw on a pair of jeans, t-shirt and sneakers and grab a hoodie on my way downstairs.

          Paul was standing at the door waiting for me and also chatting with my mother, who was cooking dinner for the family. He looked at me and smiled, “Ev, you look great!” I scoffed at him as I said a quick ‘bye’ to my parents and heard the door close behind me as Paul led me to his car.

          I’ve always loved Paul’s car, it was a 1999 black Camero with leather seats and a badass stereo system. I hopped in and put my seatbelt on as he got in and did the same, when he turned the car on it was like bringing a monster to life, only this monster was gorgeous! “Ready Evie?” he smiled at me. “Yeah I guess.” I was so not looking forward to this, but I was already in the car mine as well go to hell too.

          We finally arrived at what looked to be a club of some sorts…he got out and opened the door for me. “Thanks” I said trying to smile at him and stood next to the car as he shut the door. I was staring at the building and Paul caught my shocked look, “We aren’t going clubbing, if that is what you are thinking.” This broke me from my trance that I was in, “So why are we here?” “It’s what’s behind us is where we’re going.” I slowly turned around and behind us was a beautiful little diner that was decorated like the 50’s and had glass doors sparkling in the moonlight.

          “Shall we?” he motioned for me to walk forward and he opened the delicate glass door for me to walk into. A hostess guided us to a table and placed menus in front of us. “So what do you think?” Paul said as he sat his menu down and took a drink of water. “It’s great. Although I’m really not that hungry, Paul.” “That’s fine. You are at least going to order a milkshake and some fries; they have the best milkshakes here.” He winked at me as the waitress came up and took our orders and the menus.

          I looked at Paul with a puzzled look, “Why are you doing this Paul?” He seemed shocked by my question and it took him a moment to answer, “Well…” I cut him off, “Don’t give me that crap about feeling sorry for me and that you felt like you had too, because I was your best friend’s girlfriend.” He looked at me and smiled, “You are still blunt as ever Evie, but that is not why I am doing this. I will admit I do feel bad for what took place, but you are a friend of mine and friends don’t let friends go into a depression and die in their little purple rooms all alone.” I couldn’t help but smile at him; he had just described me and my room to a T.

          “Alright, I guess that’s a good enough answer.” I replied back to him as the waitress set down our food and drinks. I took a sip of my chocolate milkshake, “Wow.” “Told ya, greatest milkshakes in town.” He took a bite of his double cheeseburger. We sat there and chatted like old friends and he even got me to laugh a few times, but then he asked the dreaded question. “So what college are you going to?” I swallowed hard and said in a small voice, “I’m not going.” He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and didn’t ask why. I think he understood why I had decided not to go.

          I couldn’t go even if I wanted too. Austin and I had planned on going to the same college when he returned from Italy. We were planning on going to Harvard, I knew I wouldn’t get in from my grades, but I wasn’t going to tell Austin that. We had everything planned, from the classes; to the majors we were going to take. Then when he died, everything we planned basically went to hell. My world was now incomplete and utter chaos, and I couldn’t find a way out.

          We finally finished our meals and got back into Paul’s car and he took me home. My mom found an old sleeping bag for Paul to use. I told him he didn’t have to stay and that he should go home, but he insisted that if he didn’t stay I might do something stupid or get another nightmare and he could be there to calm me down.

          Well he was right I had several nightmares that night, every single one worse then the next. I ended up sleeping with Paul’s arms wrapped around me and I felt safe and protected and pictured that these arms belonged to Austin, I cried again. When I woke up the following morning Paul was awake and just stroking my hair to make sure I stayed calm. “Good morning.” He said as he gently put his fingers through my hair. “Thanks for staying last night.” I said sitting up as he took his arms off from around me and I sat on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, he was still leaning against the headboard. “No problem.” He smiled.

          Paul left after he made sure that I ate breakfast, and I waved goodbye to him and told him I would see him soon. I walked back into the house and my mom stopped me by the base of the stairs, “Paul’s a good guy. Maybe…” “Mom! Are you insane!?” I turned and made my way up to my room, crying again.

          Today was the day of the funeral, and I wore black dress pants, my black heels, and a black shirt that was short sleeve and low cut. It was Austin’s favorite shirt on me. I applied some black eye shadow and mascara and went downstairs where my family was waiting for me. I threw on my black pea coat and we walked out to the car.

          We arrived at the church where the ceremony was being held. I slowly walked into the auditorium and the coffin was opened to see a peaceful looking, Austin. He had been dressed in his black tux and a pink tie. He looked peaceful like there was a smile on his lips. He didn’t look like he had been in a car accident; he didn’t look like he even should be dead. I slowly made my way up to the casket and looked at him. I know that it sounds creepy looking at a dead person, but I didn’t see him as a creepy corpse, I saw him with warm tan skin, beautiful amber eyes staring at me with love, and a smile that could melt my heart.

          I hadn’t realized that I was crying when I felt a hand touch my shoulder, it was Grace. “God, he looks peaceful.” She said as she gave me a hug and surprisingly I hugged her back, hard. “I’m so sorry Evie. He was the greatest man there ever was. He loved you so much.” She whispered in my ear while we hugged one another. This statement only made my cry more. When she released me from her hug, she was crying as well and then told me she would talk to me after the ceremony. I stood there as several more people gave me there condolences and a few more hugs; the last person to come up to me was Paul.

          “Hey.” He said grabbing my hand so I would turn to look at him. “You going to be okay today?” I nodded slightly, tears still falling from my eyes. Good thing I wore waterproof mascara today. He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, “I’m here if you need to talk.” Then he walked away. Finally I walked over to where my parents were sitting along with Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. I took my place between the two sets of parents. The pastor walked up to the podium and began his speech, “Austin James Taylor, was a youthful, talented, loving, and kind man. He had so many ambitions that he wanted to complete with the love of his life, Evelyn.” He smiled at me, as tears rolled down my face. “Evelyn would you like to say a few words about Austin?” I nodded and made my way up to the podium.

          I cleared my throat and placed my hands on either side of the podium to steady myself. I could see so many friends of ours and all of our families gathered together. I started in a shaky voice, “As you all know me and Austin were in love…” I looked down at him in his casket and back up to the audience, “he had purposed to me on the day of our graduation ceremony and we were planning on our long and happy life together.” I struggled to keep the tears from falling, “He was such a wonderful man, he did about anything for anyone if they asked him and was always a friend when you needed it. I remember one day at school a young freshman girl was crying because some juniors had made fun of her clothes and hair. He had walked over to her and told her that she was prettier and even more gorgeous than those girls who were making fun of her. He told her that if they bothered her again that she could tell them that she knew Austin and then she wouldn’t have a problem with them again.” I smiled at that memory, which was when I first knew that I wanted to marry him and be his forever.

          “I would like to say one last thing about Austin. He was never selfish or proud. He never had a big ego and I loved him…so much.” My voice cracked at the end of the sentence and then I nodded to the pastor as I walked back to my seat. “Thank you Evelyn for that wonderful speech. We will now sing ‘Amazing Grace.” The music started and that’s when I lost it, I couldn’t bare to be here anymore. I exited without much attention and sat out in the lobby, sobbing.

          I heard a male voice say, “Evelyn?” I looked up through my hands and Paul was crouching beside me. “What are you doing out here Paul…go back in, I’ll be fine.” I sniffed and he offered me a tissue. I wiped the tears from my face and sat there trying to gain control of myself. Paul was holding my hand and something just felt weird and I decided I needed to talk to Paul about something. “Paul…” I said in a small voice. “Yes, Evie?” He looked at me with those blue eyes. “I was thinking about something…do you, well do you like me?” He looked at me with confusion, “Of course I do Evie. Who wouldn’t?” He smiled. “No…I know you like me. I meant do you like me like that?” “Evie…I love you like a sister.” I exhaled slowly and smiled. “Is that what you wanted to hear?” I smiled and said, “Yes, thank you.” He smiled back and gave me another hug.

          After the ceremony, we headed to the cemetery. The pastor said a few more words before they sent his coffin into the ground and I placed a yellow rose on his casket before I walked away from him…forever.

One month later…

          My depression had gotten worse and not better. I had tried killing myself four times and was never successful or was caught before it was finished. I did try the overdose thing, but my parents took me to the hospital and I had my stomach pumped before the pills could take an effect on me. Paul had chewed me out on what the hell I was thinking and Grace also did the same. I just didn’t care; I didn’t want to live anymore.

          I was in bed sleeping, when my mom woke me up. “Honey…we have something to tell you.” I turned over to look at my mom and she was smiling. “What mom?” I asked in a groggy voice. “Come down stairs.” She got up from where she was sitting on my bed and left my room. I rolled my eyes and got up and stretched, slipped on my flip-flops and headed downstairs.

          “What is it mom?” I was shocked to see my Dad still home, it was noon. “Take a look at this…” she handed me a folded up piece of paper. I unfolded it and started to read it,

Miss Evelyn Cook,

          We at Harvard would like to send our congratulations on being accepted to our prestigious school. We are hoping that you are excited as we are to be coming to Harvard, and getting an education that will carry you throughout your adult years. Hope to see you on our campus in the fall.

Sincerely,

Edward Morgan Sr.

          Before I could say anything my mom cheerfully said, “You got in!” I stood there in shock, how the hell did this happen?

 

Reviews

[17thWhitePrince]

WoW !!!
Again ... Such a beautiful chapter indeed !!!
So much sorrow still bleeds through the page !!!