Chapter 5

About 1 year ago…

          “I am so excited for prom this year!” Grace was looking at herself in a full length mirror at the mall. “That dress looks really good on you.” I said coming out from one of the dressing rooms. I stood next to Grace as I looked at a purple floor length gown with rhinestones all over the top and bottom of the dress with a little bit of a train in the back. “That is the one you should get Ev, it looks perfect on you!” “You think so?” “Yes, and Austin is going to love it too!” she jumped and down in delight. “Yeah, you’re right he will love it.” I walked back to the dressing room and started to get changed back into my regular clothes.

          “So has James asked you to prom yet?” I asked slipping into my shirt. “No, but I’m sure he will. He only has a month left.” We gathered up the dresses we were planning on buying and then decided to go grab a bite to eat at the nearby restaurant in town.

          “So you and Austin are going strong.” Grace took a sip of her water. “Yeah, I really love him. I can’t believe that I have actually dated a guy for over a year and haven’t even come close to thinking about breaking up. We have never really had any problems and most of the time if we argue; we work it out in the end. He’s such a great guy.” “I’m so jealous of you Ev, you found the perfect guy.”

          “Here are your meals ladies.” Said our waitress as she sat our plates down. “Enjoy!” she smiled and walked away. “Oh come on Grace. Give James a chance to prove himself to you. He is a great guy just has a few things he needs to work on, other than that your prince charming.” “Haha, yeah okay Evie…whatever you say.” We both laughed as we enjoyed our meal and continued to talk about the guys and prom.

          “Oh god, I have to go. I will see you tomorrow at school.” I said to Grace and I headed out of the restaurant to my car. I heard my phone going off so I saw it was Austin and flipped it opened. “Hey baby, what’s up?” “Oh, not much. I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight?” “Sure. I am on my way home right now.” “You out with Grace?” “Yeah, we got our dresses for prom today and then had a bite to eat. I’m leaving the restaurant right now; I should be there in about 2o minutes or so.”

          “Alright. See you soon honey, I love you.” “I love you too, bye.” I flipped the phone closed and climbed into my car. Tons of thoughts were going through my head…prom, homework, Grace, etc. I really needed some alone time with Austin, I had so much stress going on right now that I really needed to just relax with my man and be lazy.

          I finally arrived 20 minutes later. I got out of my car and was greeted by a smiling, sexy looking Austin at his front door. We exchanged a kiss as he led me inside and onto his couch. He turned on a movie and I made myself comfortable in his arms as he draped a blanket over us and by the time the movie had ended I had fallen asleep in his arms. I felt him slowly stroking my hair and dreaming of one day being married to him.

          “Evelyn, sweetie…” Austin gently shook me awake from our hours in bliss. “Mmm.” I said rubbing my heavy eyes. “It’s late; you should head home before your parents get too worried about you.” I slowly sat up and looked into Austin’s beautiful amber eyes. “Yeah, your right.” I let out a yawn.

          After about 15 more minutes of trying to wake up, we finally headed to my car outside. “You be careful and don’t fall asleep on your way home. Do you want me to follow you so you can stay awake?” “No, no. I will be fine honey. I’m perfectly awake now and will be till I get home and into my bed.” I smiled at him and as I did he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

          “I am the luckiest guy in the whole world.” “Oh really? Why is that?” I said in a joking voice. “Because I get to hold the most beautiful girl in the whole world anytime I want.” “Austin Taylor, you are the smoothest guy I’ve met, you may kiss me now.” He laughed at that and then we shared a moment of complete heaven.

          He opened my car door for me and I got in. “You be safe now. Call me when you get home, alright?” “I will.” He closed my door and walked back up to his front door. I backed out and waved goodbye as I took off into the night.

          I struggled the first few minutes to stay awake and was doing fairly well, when the sudden urge of sleep hit me and the next thing I knew I was on the side of the road in a ditch facing the opposite direction that I was going in. I climbed out of my car and my head was killing me. I touched it lightly, “Ow! Damn.” I looked at my hand, which was covered in blood.

          “Miss are you alright? I am so sorry!” a frantic voice came up from behind me, but all I could think about was, where was I? How did I end up in a ditch? I heard the man say, “The ambulance is on its way, I think you need to sit down you look really hurt.” I nodded in a daze and turned to look at my car that was completely upside down in the ditch.

          The last thing I remember was lights and sounds in the distance. I remember people, but they were so blurry to me. Then everything went black.

          I woke to a strange beeping sound…and I slowly opened my eyes. I looked down and there were tubes in me everywhere. My head felt like it was on fire and the light was killing my eyes. I blinked a few more times and the machines that were making that annoying beeping noise were starting to come into focus.

          I saw a figure that was slumped in a chair beside my bed, and then realized it was Austin. I took my vision from him to look around me. Everything was white, the sheets, my gown, the walls, even the door. I started to panic a bit. What happened? Why was I in the hospital? I guess my sudden jolt of my heart beeping faster made the machine louder and faster with its beeps, which seemed to wake Austin up.

          “Ev, sweetheart? Are you awake, can you hear me?” he took my hand in his. It felt so warm and good against my cold skin. “Au..stin.” my voice was scratchy and hoarse. “Yes, baby. I’m right here.” He brushed the side of my face with his hand and kissed my forehead gently.

Austin’s POV:

          It killed me to see her like this; I knew I should have driven her home tonight. She was so exhausted from shopping all day with Grace, worrying about homework, prom, and school. I figured she needed the time with me to ease her mind.

          I was right, as soon as we were on the couch cuddling I could tell she was right where she wanted to be. About half way through the movie, I could see her eye lids getting heavier and then realized when the movie was over that she was fast asleep in my arms. I gently stroked her hair and dreamed of more if these moments to come in our lives together.

          I finally decided to wake her up, even though I didn’t want too, it was getting late and I wanted to make sure she got some rest before our big day at school tomorrow. Being the gentlemen that I was I walked her out to her car, kissed her goodnight and told her to be safe.

          After she left I decided to head up to my room and relax before I got the call that she was home safe and sound. I changed into my PJ’s and climbed into bed, turned on the Sports channel and lay back onto my pillows.

          I laid there for probably a good hour when I realized that Evelyn hadn’t called yet. I checked my phone, just in case I missed her call, but there was nothing there. So I decided to call her myself. It rang and rang and nothing. Her voicemail picked up, but I hung up. Something felt wrong, but I didn’t know what it was exactly.

          I decided that maybe she crashed as soon as she got home and forgot to call. Oh well, I would see her tomorrow. I turned off the TV and then my cell rang. I immediately picked it up and looked at the number, it wasn’t one I recognized but decided to answer anyways in case it was Evelyn.

          “Hello?” “Uh, yes is this Austin Taylor?” a male voice answered on the other end. “Yes, it is. Who may I ask is calling?” “Mr. Taylor I have some news regarding your girlfriend Evelyn Cook.” “What is it?” my voice went into panic mode. “I’m afraid she has been in a serious car accident son, she was taken to the ER about 20 minutes ago.” “What! What hospital?” “St. Mary’s. She was in critical condition here, but that doesn’t mean she still is…” I didn’t let him finish his sentence I immediately hung up the phone and raced downstairs to grab my jacket and keys. I took off going 90 down the highway till I reached the hospital.

          I reached the front desk asking for Evelyn, they told me that I needed to wait in the lobby till the doctor came out to talk to me. All I could think was that this was my fault and how I should have drove her home. I sat in the lobby with Evelyn’s parents for what seemed an eternity, when finally the doctor came out and told us she was in a stable condition and had broken 2 ribs and received severe whiplash. Her brain had been a bit swollen, but they took out the liquid on it so the swelling was down and she was resting. Her parents went in to see her first, and after they visited I told them I would take the night shift and for them to get some rest.

          When I walked into her room, all I could hear was the beeping of those damn machines. I knew she was alive, but she looked like she was an experiment gone wrong. She was bruised from head to toe, had a huge bandage around her head and looked somewhat peaceful. I decided to sit down after a while and before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

          I woke to the sound of the machines beeping like crazy and noticed that Evelyn was awake. I pulled my chair closer, “Ev, sweetheart? Are you awake, can you hear me?” I took her hand in mine, it was so cold. Then I heard her speak and my heart starting to race. “Au…stin?” her voice was so weak and brittle but she was alive and I was so happy to know that she would be okay. “Yes, baby. I am right here.” I touched the side of her face and then kissed her on her forehead, staring into those gorgeous green eyes of hers.

Back to the present…

          Things weren’t getting any better. Austin had died about a week ago, and I still was in denial. I barely ate, and slept. Grace would keep calling me all the time, come over to visit me, but I didn’t want anything to do with friends or people that wanted to give me their condolences. I just wanted to be left alone.

          I cried everyday, in the morning when I woke up…during the afternoon…and every night before I fell asleep. The man I was engaged too was gone and will never be here again. I never took my engagement ring off, even though my parents said it would be better if I just sold it back somewhere. I couldn’t get rid of the last thing that Austin had given me before he died. This ring was a symbol of how much he loved me, tears started to run down my face again as I sat on my bed sobbing.

          After about another hour of crying, I finally calmed down enough to go downstairs to get something to drink. I walked into the kitchen where my mom was making breakfast for Dad before he left for work. I reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a container of grape juice and poured it into a glass. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you?” My mom turned around as she finished flipping the sizzling bacon in the pan. “Fine.” I took a sip of my juice and turned to start back upstairs.

          “Evelyn, wait please.” My mom pleaded with me. I turned around and stared at her, my face expressionless. “I know that you are grieving and you have every right to be, but honey you need to be strong and get over this. Austin would….” Just my mom mentioning the fact that I had to forget Austin pissed me off. “Mom, you don’t know the hell you are talking about! I will never forget Austin, EVER! You know damn well he was the love of my life, yet you stand there telling me that I need to move on!?” I raced up the stairs before I could hear her answer and slammed my door.

          I threw myself on my bed and began sobbing again, whispering between the tears, “Austin…I need you…please…” I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest and the pain I was feeling just kept getting worse instead of better. I just wanted to feel his warmth against my skin, hear his laugh, see his gorgeous smile, and hear his voice when he told me ‘I love you’. He was everything to me and now…now I couldn’t go on with life without him. I had to figure out a way to kill myself so I could be with him, forever.

          I went through several scenarios on how I was going to kill myself: First, overdose. I could raid my parent’s medicine cabinet and just take as many pills as I could. Second, I could run out into the street and get hit by a car. Third, I could go bungee jumping and tamper with the rope so I would crash to my death…so many thoughts of killing myself went through my head. I thought about shooting myself, have an animal attack me, etc.

          If I could just get rid of this pain that was tearing at me inside, then maybe I could still grieve, but not want to end up dead myself. The only way the pain would go away is if Austin came back and that wasn’t going to happen.

          I remember that night when Paul told me about the accident…(she goes into a flashback mode)

          “Evie it’s…its Austin.” “Wh…what about him?” my hands were shaking as my knees almost gave out. I felt Paul grab me and lead me to a chair. “A drunk driver ran a light and ran right into the driver’s side of Austin’s car, he d…died on impact.” Tears were coming down his face as he held my hand in his. I fell out of the chair and hit the deck wood with my knees, “No,no,no,no,no! This…this can’t be happening! NO!” “Evie, I’m so sorry.” He tried comforting me, but I just wanted Austin…

          That night as Paul was taking me home, we ended up stopping at the site where Austin had died. There was debris everywhere and then I saw Austin’s car, his yellow and black GT Mustang all crumpled up like someone had it with a huge baseball bat. The other car was sitting across the road and its front end was pulled all the way back to the front windshield. I was told that both Austin and the man in the other car were dead.

          I slowly walked over to Austin’s car, and looked at it in shock. My brain taking mental pictures of the damage, they had used the Jaws of Life to get Austin’s body out of the mangled up car. I could see blood spots inside and outside of the car. They were hauling away the other man’s car when we had arrived.

          I fell to my knees in front of the Mustang and just sobbed. I felt a warm embrace and knew Paul was holding me, but I could fell his body shake with sobs as well. Finally, an officer came up and told us that we needed to move. Paul had asked where they had taken Austin’s body, and he told them to the morgue at St. Mary’s. Still in shock, Paul led me back to the car and helped me in.

          The last thing I remember that night was the sound of scraping metal against the paved road as the tow truck pulled Austin’s car onto the back. I saw flashing lights in the distance and told myself to forget everything that I had seen; I didn’t want to remember Austin that way. (end of flashback)

          As days past by the pain grew worse. Austin’s funeral was in a week and my parents offered to help in any way that they could. I stayed in my room most of the time and got on the computer to check Facebook, where there was a group to join to pray for Austin, and people were writing on my wall, sending me email, and asking me if I was okay and how I was handling everything.

          I slammed my computer lid down and sat down on my bed. I grabbed my teddy bear that Austin had given me on our first date and wrapped myself up in a blanket. I cried till I feel asleep and then I dreamed of me and Austin.

          We were getting married, I was walking down the aisle of the church building with my Dad by my side and me and Austin were smiling at one another. My Dad gave me away to Austin and we took each other’s warm hands and faced the preacher who started the ceremony. I remember looking into those beautiful amber eyes of his and how handsome he looked in a tux.

          Me and Austin said our vows to one another and I could almost fell Austin’s touch as he slipped the ring on my finger as I did the same to him. Before the preacher could say ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’ I saw Austin’s face grow pale and cold. Suddenly he fell to the ground and there was a pool of blood around him, but I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

          I shook him and yelled at him to wake up, the audience was gasping in horror and then I realized that Austin was dead. He was dead in reality and he was dead in my dreams…”NO!” I screamed in my sleep, “No…Austin…NO!” tears ran down my face and then I felt someone shaking me, “Evie…hey…wake up Evie. It’s okay, shhh.” My eyes shot open as tears were running down my face. It was Paul who was in my room comforting me.

          He held me as I sobbed and screamed how he couldn’t be dead and how much pain he left me in. Paul rocked me back and forth and after a while, I finally calmed down. “Ev, you look like you haven’t gotten hardly any sleep. How long have you been having nightmares of…well?” “Too long.” Was all I could say as he handed me a tissue. “Do you want me to spend the night here with you, so you can get some decent night’s sleep? I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind.” I nodded and he said, “Okay, I will go ask. Be right back.” He let go of my hand and walked down stairs and I heard mumbling and then footsteps up the stairs.

          “They said it would be fine.” He walked back over to where I was sitting on my bed still slightly crying. “God…if anyone would have told me I was going to be here with you crying and comforting you about my best friend and your boyfriend I would have said ‘hell no’, but now I don’t really know what to say.” I grabbed his hand and said, “Thank you” in a soft voice.

          He squeezed my hand back, “Of course. I knew you meant a lot of him and being engaged was all he could talk about. So when you showed up at the party engaged I was so happy to finally see that you two were going to get married….” He paused, “But when I got that phone call…man…” he wiped his hand under his right eye, “I couldn’t grip the fact that he was gone and having to tell you…” he looked up at me with his blue eyes, “that was going to make it worse.” I looked up at him and said, “You had no choice, you were his best friend and you needed to tell me no matter how bad it hurts.” I was trying to keep my voice from not quivering, “I’m glad that you were there to tell me, instead of a complete stranger.” He tried to smile, but he just smirked a little bit.

          “Are you hungry at all?” He asked me with a twinkle in his eye. “Actually…I kinda am.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed, “We are going out.” “Wait…what? No, I’m not going out in sweats and my eyes all puffy. “Don’t worry, just throw on some shoes and brush your hair if you need too. I want to take you somewhere, just trust me okay?” He looked at me sincerely. “Oh, alright. Give me 5 minutes and I will meet you downstairs.” “Great!” he gave me a quick hug and then shut my door as I walked into my bathroom to make myself look somewhat decent.

 

Reviews

[17thWhitePrince]

What a chapter indeed !!!
WoW !!!
I liked it a lot !!!
So much emotion and pain !!!
WoW !!!