Chapter 1

The Caster Paradigm

Chapter 1 The Game’s Afoot

10,000 Years Ago
The crow’s cry echoed across the desolate land stretched beneath her midnight wings. The stench of the decaying bodies of the humans below warring with the fragrance of spring’s first blooms. A lone figure stood in the carnage watching the crow. The crow circled once over the figure, her curiosity piqued. The figure stretched a skeletal hand toward the crow, as though it were begging her to wait. She called out once more, her unanswered cry echoing further still.
The figure’s thin lips smirked; suddenly it clenched its hand into a fist. The crow screamed as she was crushed by an invisible force and plummeted to the ground, broken. She twitched in pain as the figure made its way toward her slowly, stumbling over the bodies in its path.
The figure bent down as the crow convulsed and died, blood pooling around the small creature. Sighing in boredom the figure poked the lifeless bird, pursing its lips in aggravation when the creature remained motionless. It grunted as it stood up and surveyed the carnage around it. The figure sighed then began to study a cracked fingernail, seeming oblivious to another person coming toward it, carefully avoiding the dead.
“That’s quite far enough, Soul Seeker,” The figure rasped, its voice giving no hint to its gender, without turning to look at the newcomer, a tall curvaceous woman.
The Soul Seeker, as she was called, flexed her angelic wings in annoyance at the figure’s tone of voice. Her right wing was as pure snow fallen on an untouched land, the other was black as the deepest cave seeming to absorb the light around it. Turning a blindfolded gaze across the scenery around her, the Soul Seeker sighed.
“You have finished then?” she asked, returning her attention to the figure. Her voice was melodic and at the same time commanding, “Have you killed them all, Paradigm?”
The Paradigm laughed loudly, throwing its head back. The Seeker was startled by the volume of the Paradigm’s laughter; she flicked her wings in annoyance.
“As if,” the Paradigm smirked, something akin to malevolent mischief danced in its red eyes.
“There will always be a remnant,” the Paradigm hissed leaning close to the Seeker, “if not, you’d be out of a job.”
A gust of wind hit the two figures as they stared at each other causing the black hair of the Paradigm and the white hair of the Seeker to swirl around them. The Seeker turned her gaze back to the corpses around her.
“Thank you for your misplaced concern, Paradigm,” The Seeker replied softly, “but should you one day, finally, decide to wipe out the human race, I won’t miss them.”
Chuckling, the Paradigm studied the Seeker, “True, but you would miss the game.”
“How long have we played this game, you and I?” The Seeker asked, sneering at the Paradigm.
The Paradigm, still smiling at the Seeker, replied flippantly, “I’ve lost track.”
“Perhaps it is time to end it then,” The Seeker suggested, folding her arms across her ample chest.
“No indeed!” The Paradigm laughed then paused in thought for a moment, “But it could use a little sprucing.”
The Paradigm looked its companion over thoughtfully, its unisex face scrunched, red eyes narrowed. The Seeker flexed her wings impatiently as she waited for her ‘companion’ to continue.
The Seeker clicked her tongue, losing what little patience she had, “Do you plan to elaborate on that statement?”
She watched as the Paradigm started walking away with its fingers laced behind its mass of black hair. Without answering her question it walked a few more feet and began to whistle.
The Seeker’s blindfolded gaze followed the Paradigm’s back as she waited for an answer. Millennia the two of them had known each other and this creature still managed to infuriate her to no end. The Paradigm stopped whistling and turned around slowly, a grin spread across its face.
“Let’s throw magic in this time.”

Cameron dodged the swipe of the enemy Sword, barely, but it was enough to get an opening. He pressed in and killed the man, stabbing straight through the Chaos’ heart. As the Chaos Sword fell, Cameron turned just in time to see his Caster’s phantom defeat the Chaos Caster.
The phantom of the enemy dispersed as its master died. Shaliah jumped in glee like only she could as her phantom went back into her body in a shower of golden radiance. Cameron was silently impressed at the strength of his Caster’s projection, not that he’d tell her. Still, not many Shadow Casters could manage as solid a phantom as she could.
“Did you see that, Cam?” Shaliah asked as she half-ran, half-skipped to stand in front of him. Her hair swirled around her in the wind like a golden halo.
“It was kind of hard to miss a twenty-foot Valkyrie skewer a twelve-foot lizard. You shouldn’t be so flashy in your execution, that’s a good way to die,” Cameron replied, sheathing his sword. He ran a hand through his black hair, pulling the bangs back out of his ice blue eyes. Not that it helped, the darn things just fell back again, blocking his vision slightly.
“Aw, Cameron, You take the fun out of everything,” Shaliah whined, crossing her arms and pouting.
“It’s my job,” Cameron began walking toward the outpost they had been ordered to.
“And you enjoy it,” Shaliah stuck her tongue out at him.
Ignoring her childish reaction, Cameron turned his attention to their surroundings, keeping an eye out for another Chaos ambush. The wind blew away the dust of the Chaos Caster and Sword as they disintegrated. Wondering, not for the first time, why only Chaos Pairs disintegrated when they died Cameron slowed his pace to match Shaliah’s shorter stature. Being six-foot-four his stride out did her five-foot-two. He figured they looked quite the pair, a twenty-four year old Sword carting around his eighteen year old Caster. As much as he nagged her, onlookers probably assumed she was his kid sister.
“Why did those Chaos attack us?” Shaliah suddenly asked, fidgeting with turquoise stones on the bracelet around her small wrist. Cameron had given it to her for a birthday years ago when they were children at the orphanage. He was amazed the small trinket still fit.
“They were a Chaos Pair, what do you expect?” Cameron answered, keeping an eye on their surroundings.
Shaliah pursed her lips, “Well not much past that, but still. We wouldn't have known they were Chaos unless they challenged us. So why do so?”
Her question took him aback. He hadn't thought of the conflict between The Order and Chaos much after leaving the academy. All of the Swords were taught the base history of the Era of Wars. The Chaos a festering reminder of a time before recorded history and civilized cultures.
“The Chaos are anarchist. They believe the powerful should rule and damn anyone that gets in their way,” Cameron shrugged, he hated when Shaliah retrospected, “I don’t think reason enters into the equation.”
He glanced her direction to see her chasing a butterfly. He sighed to himself, she was such an airhead. She began to wander off the road, her dress getting caught on brambles.
Cameron grimaced as he heard the rip, “Will you get back here, please.”
“Oh, pish posh, Cammy,” Shaliah replied, calling him by her favorite nickname. He grumbled under his breath but continued walking, still keeping an eye on her antics. They made it to the outpost and Shaliah rushed ahead, her skirt swirling around her, calling out to whoever was there. Cameron followed behind, as cool and calm and alert as ever.
“Helloooooo,” Shaliah called again to the top of the wall above the blocked entrance. Cameron joined her, standing in front of the grime-covered gate, as she called out once more.
As the two of them waited, Cameron couldn't help but grimace at the wall's state of desolation. Whole sections were crumbled, the holes boarded over with rotting wood. Pity flittered through his heart for the residents of this shunned, forgotten place.
“Ahoy there little missy,” a crackly voice demanded from their right, “why you have to be so flabbergasting loud!”
An old man sat in the shadows of the entrance, buried in a dilapidated rocking chair by grungy, rag worn blankets. Cameron figured his Caster’s yelling had startled the old timer out of his nap, or death, he really wasn’t sure which.
“Well, no one answered,” Shaliah replied, chewing on her thumbnail and digging her toe into the ground.
Cameron rolled his eyes at how fast his Caster could play innocent.
“Who be ye then?” the old man asked from his rocking chair, one bloodshot eye trying to stare menacingly.
“We’re the Castor and Sword you requested,” Cameron replied, pulling out his order papers. The old man accepted them ungraciously, glared one last time, and then began to read.
“Ah, I see, I see. Yes, mhm. Alrighty. You can go in,” he acquiesced, after what seemed like way too long to read a single paragraph summons, and handed back the papers. He knocked on the gate door with his cane. Cameron cringed as it creaked, rattled, and groaned open. Nodding his head to the old man Cameron took Shaliah by the elbow and led her through.
“I can walk by myself, Cammy, I’m not a child!” She whined.
“Says you,” Cameron replied, sighing but releasing his hold on her.
The wall reflected the state of the town it poorly defended. His heart sank as he surveyed the decay around him. Run-down, broken homes stared at him, windowless. The homes reminded him of all the other Edge towns in the outer limits of the Order’s domain. The land itself seemed to be struggling to survive, same as the occupants of the little forgotten town. Lands near Chaos Zones and territory were not ideal real-estate.
It wasn't his first time being ordered to the aid of an Edge town, and wouldn't be his last. Normally extermination problems were handled by the new recruits of the army, not Pairs, and certainly not Pairs of Cameron and Shaliah’s caliber.
To be sent to answer a rodent problem in an Edge town in Southlands, the absolute complete opposite end of the earth from Kalm, their home district, Shaliah had really screwed up this time. Cameron had told her not to do it, but she never listened to him. Really what was she thinking using her powers in the Empress’s prized rose garden to kill a drauken? Granted the four foot, fire breathing, lizards were a pain to handle, but she really didn't need to go all out on the thing.
It really hadn’t been their place to do anything to begin with, if Cameron had to be completely honest. They, like many other Pairs, went to support their team in the Sword Tournament. Shaliah had had one too many novelty drinks, and from what Cameron could remember, someone had mentioned the pest problem, and next thing he knew, his Caster was passed out drunk in the remains of the once beautiful Courtyard of Serenity.
Cameron cringed at the memory. Not a single bush was left unscathed. It took the master gardener four months to refill the ruts alone, and the garden still wasn't anywhere near its former glory. Of course that was only the tip of the rather large iceberg of accidents that always seemed to gravitate around Shaliah.
The orders the two of them had been so graciously sentenced with had to do with a pack of wolfenberres running amok in the area for the past few months. Wolfenberres weren’t horrendously problematic but the badger-like creatures tended to be a nuisance to farmers and small four footed herbivores, especially when they ran in a pack.
“Oh, let’s get something to eat!” Shaliah’s light voice caught him out of his musings. He looked up to see her running toward the smell of food.
Cameron followed her across the street. Wolfenberres didn't come out until right at nightfall. He looked up into the drizzle of rain and gauged the time to be a little after noon. Shaliah bought some gross-looking concoction, which Cameron was sure the brown bits therein were not beef, from the haggard man and started eating. He marveled at the strength of her stomach, shaking his head in silent amusement.
When Cameron was about halfway to her he felt a cold shiver run up his spine, a Challenge. He stopped, instinctively looking to his right. Twenty feet away was a man standing in the middle of the mud pit of a road, grinning at him. Cameron turned towards the man, narrowing his eyes. He gave Shaliah a sideways glance. She had stopped eating, halfway through a mouthful, and was staring in the opposite direction of the man at the end of the road. Cameron looked over his shoulder in the direction she was staring. A middle-aged woman with long black hair was approaching them from that direction. The hairs on the back of Cameron’s neck stood on end, a Chaos Pair had come to call.
He felt the wind from the Sword’s attack, sidestepping to avoid the blow. Cameron drew his weapon just in time to block the next. He stared into the black eyes of the enemy Sword who grinned evilly at him. The man was of the same lean build as Cameron, but not as tall. His hair on the other hand was stark white with a black streak down the right side from temple to nape.
“Cameron Gantervez and you are?” Cameron introduced himself calmly, studying the other man’s angular features.
“Eh, quite polite of an Order to introduce himself before the battle,” the Chaos jumped back, “Skrim.”
“Skrim? Is that your name?” Cameron asked.
“HA! Of course Cam-my-man!” Skrim laughed as he jumped to attack. His fighting style was completely different than any of the other Chaos Swords Cameron had fought before. His movements were sporadic, but as Cameron fought him, he realized his movements were, in truth, very precise.
“What’s the matter, Cam? Why do you smile?” Skrim asked as his attack landed, scraping across Cameron’s shoulder.
“Just enjoying the moment, waiting for my Caster to finish yours,” Cameron answered, ducking under a swing and slicing Skrim across the gut.
Blood arced off the end of Cameron’s sword as he spun away and around to face Skrim. The strange man merely cackled, seemingly oblivious to the pain.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You haven’t met Mistress,” Skrim retorted, pressing Cameron back with a flurry of blows. The villagers had disappeared, some making their way out of town, others to who knew where, but all away from the Swords’ dance of death.
“And I wouldn’t think Miss Sunshine over there would be much of a challenge to her,” Skrim’s grin, if possible, spread wider.
Cameron laughed, humorlessly, “Oh, you haven’t met my Caster.”
Skrim was slightly taken aback, his grin faltering. His surprise was short-lived as he smirked and continued his attacks. Screams erupted behind them as the remaining villagers fled in fear for their lives from the phantoms of the two Casters. Mistress, as Skrim called her, apparently was a Shadow Caster, same as Shaliah. This Mistress put full force into her phantom, not playing around. Shaliah responded in turn. Destruction was a given when two powerful Casters fought, and this battle was no exception.
Cameron couldn’t spare the concentration to neither keep track of the Caster fight, nor get a good look at the Mistress, but the glances he caught showed him she was a fairly well put together woman. She was about lower thirties to mid, with long black hair and pale skin. Her phantom, almost as solid a projection as Shaliah’s, was the opposite of her Valkyrie. It was a Succubus, a perverted copy of the Order’s standards, like all of the Chaos’ Castings were.
Sightseeing was cut short as Skrim relentlessly attacked, pulling all of Cameron’s focus to the battle at hand. Cameron defended as best he could, but the Chaos Sword’s fighting style was hard to handle. Luckily, Skrim overextended himself with a thrust that Cameron dodged. Spinning on his toes, Cameron brought his sword down hard and fast, severing Skrim’s arm from his body.
Without pause, and relentless as a storm Cameron continued to slice and dice Skrim apart. With one final slice, Skrim’s head rolled from his body, hitting the ground with a splat, showering Cameron’s already muddy boots with blood. With the enemy sprawled in a bloody mess around him, he started to go help his Caster fight, until he heard a chuckle from behind him.
Cameron glanced down at the severed head of Skrim. The eyes focused on him and a smile suddenly spread across the ashen face. Cameron jumped back with a startled cry. Normally, thanks to their extended stays in Chaos Zones, Chaos disintegrated when killed.
“Wha-” Cameron couldn’t speak, staring dumbly at the severed head.
“What? This surprises you Cam-my-man?” The head of Skrim laughed a high pitched cackle that grated on Cameron's nerves.
He stared, trying to comprehend the sight before him, when he heard a scream that sent his stomach plummeting. He turned, jerkily, like a puppet; not wanting to give credence to what he knew had happened. The sight before him was straight from his worst nightmare.
Mistress’s Succubus pulled her sword from Shaliah’s chest. She didn’t smile, she didn’t even smirk, Mistress just turned and walked away as Shaliah fell to the mud.
“Oh, too bad,” Skrim puffed out his bottom lip in mock sympathy as his pieces began disappearing in blue flames.
Anger rushed through Cameron replacing the despair clawing his throat. With a strangled cry he charged Mistress. She stopped, planting her feet solidly in the mud and calling her Shadow. Cameron had fought Shadows before, training with Shaliah mostly, but when he locked blades with Mistress’ he could feel in his soul that something was wrong.
The succubus pursed its lips at him like it was asking to be kissed. He felt his strength draining and his eyes began to blur. He tried to pull away but the succubus caught his wrist. Cameron struggled to no avail, he sank to his knees. His sword fell from his hand as the succubus continued to drain him. All of a sudden the succubus was gone, Cameron fell in an ungraceful heap at Mistress’ feet.
She regarded him with an expression of pity and disappointment. He couldn’t focus on her, he willed his arms to move, anything, nothing heeded his bidding. Mistress glanced past him to Skirm’s head. She stepped over Cameron, mud dropping off her boots to land on his face. The cold muck slid down his face as he watched her kneel and grab Skirm’s cackling head by the hair.
Cameron vaguely heard Skrim’s protest of pain as Mistress began to walk away. The head, hanging by its ash blond hair, shot Cameron one last grin. His consciousness lost its grip on reality. Next thing he knew someone was shaking his shoulder. Cameron jerked awake glancing around him wildly. A man he didn’t know was asking him something but Cameron didn’t hear him; he didn’t hear anything as his eyes locked on the still form a few feet away.
He stared at Shaliah’s motionless body. He crawled through the muck to her side her golden hair tarnished by the mud, matting to her still face by the pouring rain. He sat back on his heels next to Shaliah, her blood slowly mixing with the mud and rain, he knew beyond any doubt she was dead. The Connection was gone. Tears refused to fall from his eyes as he stroked his Castor's cheek already turning cold. Gently he lifted her into his arms, ignoring the few villagers remaining, and started walking out of the town.

10,000 Years Ago
“Magic?” The Soul Seeker stared at her companion in contempt, hands on her hips, “Like we haven’t tried that before.”
She scoffed as she walked after the Paradigm who seemed to ignore her, “You do remember what happened the last time, right?”
“Yeah I know,” the Paradigm said over its shoulder, stepping over a bush tangled with vines.
“That time we weren’t even needed, they wiped themselves out in less than a couple millennia,” The Seeker sneered, her robe caught on the bush and pulled her up short until she disentangled herself.
“This time will be different,” the Paradigm called back to her as it stopped on the edge of the bluff and stared out across the plains.
The Seeker came and stood beside the Paradigm but didn’t see what caught its fancy. She looked from the Paradigm to the landscape before them and back, confusion ever increasing. Green grass danced as it was caressed by the wind rolling across land. The Paradigm smiled softly as the wind from the plain hit the bluff they occupied, teasing their hair and causing the Seeker to swear and flex her wings in annoyance. A small village by a river, that cut the valley like a blue ribbon, lived its days peacefully here, ignoring and being ignored by the world outside its valley.
“This time,” The Paradigm whispered, “there’ll be rules.”

Author's Note

edited a few things. hopefully it flows a little better and maybe sheds a tad bit of light. maybe not.

let me know how it is :)

Reviews

[Arutha]

51 views and no reviews! Sheesh! What's this Cafe coming to? ;-D I got your back, FF for life, lol.

I've never read the Hunger Games, but I'm wondering if this has some of those elements? Either way, it seems extremely creative. I love the dialogue between the Soul Seeker and the Paradigm. They have a curious banter that leaves me wanting to know more. I also really liked the battle with Skrim and his Caster. Another intriguing mystery there, as well. I think that, by creating those strong desires to get to the bottom of such mysterious plot components, you've done a fantastic job of sucking the reader in, and not just with a single piece, but with the whole thing, which is impressive (about as impressive as this ridiculous, run-on sentence ;-P).

Okay, so there are pieces in this when your pace and level of detail is precisely like what I would expect from a professional-grade novel. The whole intro with the Soul Seeker and Paradigm was very nicely executed. When we get to Cameron and Shalia, though, I feel your pace starts to get a bit impatient. Trust me, I know the feeling all too well.

For instance, when you get to the description of the town, you just sort of write it off as "forgetable," but I encourage you to take some time and really get the reader behind your MC's eyeballs, allowing us to see what they see.

Then, when you get to the scene with Skrim, I feel like the pace mellowed out a little, but I would still like to know more of the subtelties: details on the scene where the fight takes place, details about the fight (more than just the knowledge that Cam is slicing Skrim up and whatnot... which was still awesome, by the way), etc.

So the crow flew away, but then the figure caught it, which was a bit confusing. Maybe, "Ignorant of the danger, the crow took flight, beating its wings as it lifted off the ground. Without warning, the creature's skeletal hand shot forth with inhuman speed, plucking the bird from the air. The creature smirked as it pulled the crow's quivering form toward its thin, pallid lips." Okay, so maybe that was over-board, but you get my drift.

"It took the master gardener four months to refill the ruts." I feel like you're trying to say that it took four months to re-grow the roses, which would make more sense, but pouring some dirt into some holes feels more like a job for an afternoon.

Superb story, and very creative idea. I can see you have quite a bit more already written, and I hope to have some time to check it out.

[Dreamer]

thank you Arutha. yes i get what you're saying about the descriptions being out of balance, with the town the details of the town weren't important, (and i just haven't gone back and edited since i added in the Paradigm and Seeker :P )
the Paradigm didn't grab the crow out of the air, it crushed the crow with i guess magic.
and the whole rose garden thing, i couldn't think up a reason for them to be sent on mundane duty, i'm sure it'll change eventually :D it probably should have been "it took the master gardener four months to regrow the garden to almost it's former glory" or something like that
again thank you very much for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters :D

[ToiXiC]

I won't pretend to be an avid writer I pretty much only do it when I run out of stuff I'm reading (or money to buy books) but I do however read loads of fantasy books. This is one of the best first chapters I've read in a while it really grips you as a reader. I love the parts with the paradigm and soul seeker I think they have the perfect amount of intrigue and leave you just enough to want to know more. However it sorts falls off a little in the details with the main character environment. We know so little about where he is. The fight itself is well written and I enjoyed it a lot but it feels so fast. We came to this village it doesn't matter which village, then these guys attack us my partner dies and they leave. I of course have the rest of the book to read and it's already complete so I don't expect you to change it or anything lol. Great work

[Dreamer]

Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate your feed back, I do intend to flesh out the beginning chapters more. I have done a little but they still need sprucing. This is not a complete book yet, still working on it. Something called life tends to get in the way quite a bit 😜
I hope you enjoy the rest of the book as much if not more than the first chapter!

[Warlon]

This ting r teh aweomez!!1one!!one! Uberl33t and haxorz! one!

[Dreamer]

thanks little bro :P

[Alex93]

This is so deliciously good! The writting syle it just grips you. Its dark and scary, and I can not wait to read the rest of of your book. Please tell me you'll publish it so that I can buy it.

[Dreamer]

lol hopefully i can finish it :P but i'll try!

[Ashleigh Nicole Evans]

Hi Dreamer,

Okay, first off, I LOVE how subtly you introduced magic in the opening paragraph. It was wonderful imagery, having him clench his empty fist and having the bird get crushed in turn. Very clever! One thing I didn't get though, is why he did what he did. Was he just being sadistic? Did he assume it was a messenger bird? Does he merely have an aversion to crows? I think it would benefit the reader (and the character) if you expand on this a little before changing the subject to his meeting.

Okay, when you said the Soul Seeker's wings were angelic, I pictured two snow white wings (and had to stop my imagination from giving her a halo, to boot :P). After reading further, I realised that what you had actually meant was angel-like wings so perhaps, in order to not mislead your reader, you could revise the adjective angelic?

I am a bit confused about this, if the Soul Seeker can see through her blindfold, why is she wearing one? I think you need to elaborate on the necessity of her blindfold, otherwise it's unnecessary.

I noticed that you increased the tempo and pace of your writing in the second half of the chapter. While this is a great technique to use when highlighting action scenes, in this case, I felt as if you had sacrificed description and information for pace. For example, I wished you had elaborated a bit more on exactly how Cameron had killed the man in the opening paragraph. The reader needs to be shown so we can use our imaginations to fill in the scene but here I was left floundering because I had nothing to imagine. Was it a head wound, a slash to his mid-section, his chest being pierced? You needed to provide us with some detail here as well as, for example, the town. Fine, it may have been forgettable but your reader never got an impression of it so how do WE forget it. Also, I find myself confused on what a castor is. I kept imagining a patronus from Harry Potter but you do need to flesh out what your readers see when you mention castors and Chaos Swords, etc.

All in all, though, I really liked your story and I think you write really, really well. Your stories flow and you do not have the tendency of many writers to tell the reader what is going on. Very enjoyable read and I think you have a good thing going here. Just aim to give the reader all the necessary information. Assume we are morons (lol) and it should be okay.

Hope this helps:)

Cheers!

[Dreamer]

why the Paradigm did it i guess would be to show that it has no attachment to that world.
I don't know, I need to rewrite it, at the time it was a neat idea i guess.
What I had meant with angelic was feather wings, it seemed a better description at the
time :P
You'll see muhahahaha
The parts with the Seeker and Paradigm were written quite awhile after the other part
and I have been meaning to go back and rewrite this chapter for sometime. And the different
Casters are explained later in the story, but yes I understand that i need more detail >.<
Thank you so much for the review Lubaina!

[Ashleigh Nicole Evans]

You are very welcome Dreamer. And like you said in your response to Gosia, better one truthful reviewer than a hundred yes men. And like I said above, I think the story line is wonderful and you are a very talented writer. But we are all here to learn and grow, hence the purpose of constructive reviews. Good luck with the rest of the book. I am sure that you will reap the fruits of your labour in days to come :P

[Gosia]

Oh my... You have a whole book here. All right, I'm getting to reviewing.

I think I've just read the best introdution to the story among the authors on Writers Cafe so far. The opening scene was mysterious, magical, somewhat disturbing and ccertainly caught my attention.

In my opinion the part where you're introducing your characters would need a little bit more descriptions, because it looks almost like a dialogue. Adding a sentence about the person's reactions, weather etc there and there should do the trick.

I love how you constructed the whole chapter, having the Soul Seeker and Paradigm open and close the chapter. It's a nice touch and gains my appreciation.

Overall I'm interested in your story and once I have some more free time I'll definitely read the rest of the chapters with pleasure (leaving reviews of course). Thumbs up, Dreamer.

[Dreamer]

Thank you Gosia, I've been reading your reviews all day, I was just at work so I couldn't write back :P

[Gosia]

You must want to break my neck ;-)
Seriously, Dreamer, you've got power in this book (and one bitchy reviewer).

[Dreamer]

lol i'd rather one truthful reviewer than a hundred yes men :D
and no i don't want to break your neck, how will you review my fixing if i do that? :P

[Kianna]

Dear Dreamer,

This sentence is fragmented and awkward, "As the crow flew over the land a lone figure stood in the carnage and watched her. Stretching out a skeletal thin hand towards the crow like it was begging it to wait. The crow flew on ignoring the figure."

Here, "That’s quite far enough, Soul Seeker" I found you could delete the word, "quite."

You should implant a comma after the word "chuckling" in this sentence, "Chuckling the Paradigm studied the Seeker, " and replace the comma behind "Seeker" to a period.

This sentence is confusing, "Millennia they had known each other and this creature still managed to infuriate her." I know what you meant to say that it had been a long time since they knew each other, but they still surprise each other. You can say, "Although they had known each other forever, this creature still managed to infuriate her."

This sentence is awkward, "He glanced to watch his Caster finish the enemy, her golden wings spread wide and spear pierced through the gut of the enemy Caster."

This is a run on, "The phantom of the enemy dissolved as its master died, Shalia jumped in glee like only she could as her phantom went back into her body." Replace the comma with a period.

I was a little confused as to who was talking some times, mostly during the part between Cameron and Shalia. I feel you should slow down and let us slowly through your world. I didn't understand what a caster was or what a Chaos was (I could infer something like a zombie maybe). There are some areas I feel could use some detail and would have been the perfect opportunity for you to execute some like here, "The town was uneventful and quite forgettable. It looked like every other town in the outer limits of the Order’s domain. Forgotten. Being one of the border towns between the Order and Chaos, it was just that." Although I like that you gave a characteristic to objects, I would have liked it more if you had elaborated. Also, the detail for your characters dwindled throughout the story. I would have liked to know what Cameron and Shalia looked like. What does your world look like? I can understand that some things are not important, but identifying with your character's senses and world is important.

Make sure you use pronouns work to your advantage so that it tells who is doing what like here, I was a little confused as to who was what and who was doing what, "Cameron dodged the swipe of the enemy Sword barely but it was enough to get an opening. He pressed in and killed the man. He glanced to watch his Caster finish the enemy, her golden wings spread wide and spear pierced through the gut of the enemy Caster."

One more thing make sure you don't capitalize words that do not need to be capitalized like here, "Cameron dodged the swipe of the enemy Sword barely but it was enough to get an opening. He pressed in and killed the man..." and here, "We’re the Castor and Sword you requested"

Now, onto what I loved about this. I absolutely adored the Seeker. I liked your opening really; I found it was intriguing. I loved the white wing black wing thing (I wish I thought of it first). I do also like your dialogue between the Seeker and the Paradigm (still working through my dialogue). I like their names and everything. Maybe you can use that as a prologue instead of the first chapter and cut out that middle section. I don't know, but I liked your start.

I also liked your finish a lot too. I liked the overall content and idea.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless

[Dreamer]

As the crow flew over the land a lone figure stood in the carnage and watched her. Stretching out a skeletal thin hand towards the crow like it was begging it to wait. The crow flew on ignoring the figure.
The figure’s thin lips smirked and clenched its hand into a fist. The crow screamed as she was crushed and fell to the ground broken. The crow twitched in pain as the figure stumbled towards it slowly.
That was the whole thing, I don't know what you mean by fragmented.
I used the quite there to give it a sense of the two's relaitionship as being passive aggrassive.
THat's not my style of writing.
It was more of the Seeker thinking to herself for the audiences benefit.
Those parts need sprucing, I plan to go back and add in details to explain that her Casting type is Shadow.
I'll rewrite it.
I plan to come back a rework those parts.
The reason sword and caster are capitalized is because they are being used as titles.
Originally this was just a prologue, ask Wolven how bad it was when I first wrote it :P
Thank you for the review I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters :)

[Dreamer]

I humble take back the first part of my response, after rereading the sentence I realized what you meant by fragment, I will fix it :)

[Kianna]

Good luck to your editing and when I have time, I may get to the rest