What They Don’t Tell You

I do NOT take credit for this piece. This was written and shared with me by my daughter, Morgan, who granted me permission to share here. Written about her older brother and my oldest, Jakob RIP💙

Morgan’s poem

What they don’t tell you.

They don’t tell you that one day you’ll wake up and not even think about them.
They don’t tell you that you’ll forget they’re even gone because the fear of that actually happening to you is completely unreal.
They don’t tell you that some days your entire body is in pain because your heart is breaking into tiny pieces.
They don’t tell you that the marks you’ve given yourself over the years, will reappear again.
They don’t tell you that the thought of their name will bring tears to your eyes.
You pray for hope. You pray for guidance. Most of all, you pray that you’ll wake up one day and learn that it was all a dream.
They don’t tell of the nightmares. They don’t tell of the shadows you see and pray will be them coming to see you.
They forget to mention that when you got that call, your entire world would stop spinning.
They think you’re handling it.
“It’s been 10 months, she’s better.”
They think they know how you’re handling it but truthfully no one knows.
They don’t know of the tears you’ve shed because all you wanted to do was scream but nothing came out.
This isn’t their fault.
They just don’t know.
grief.
I have decided to embrace grief.
Grief only exists where there was love first.
People talk about grief as emptiness but it’s the exact opposite.
It’s full.
Heavy.
“It’ll get easier in time.”
But what they don’t know is every ounce of happiness is now a bad drug, laced with a twinge of sadness.
But, your scars will scab over.
You have to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.
You’re allowed to hurt.
One day you wake up,
and you stop wiping the tears that fell from your nightmares.
You wake up and you come to terms with it. You wake up and it seems normal. Something you never thought would be,
is now just your life.
This pain you thought would never subside,
just becomes your daily mind.
What they don’t tell you.

-BW