Something Deranged

Some lyrics I wrote describing how I've been feeling about recent events.

There's changes in the world
and I'm standing still.
Instead of making something change
I go for a cheap thrill.

Now I'm rolling up a dutch
cos im thinkin' way too much
bout how all I wanna do is punch a wall.
Then the feeling subsides as I try to get by
but I've only put my demons on hold.

I can't relax
I can't fall asleep
I've got something horrific haunting me.
People close to me can see the change,
Ive turned into something deranged.

Now I'm sitting at the bar
on a Wednesday night at quarter to three
and a cloudy haze fills the room.
I can barely see.

I'm tryin' to down these beers
since they help suppress my fears.
B***h just name your price, all I wanna do is feel alright.
Then the feeling subsides as I try to get by
but I've only put my demons on hold.

I can't relax
I can't fall asleep
I've got something horrific haunting me.
People close to me can see the change,
Ive turned into something deranged.

I want to be the man that I know I can be
but I've pushed you so far away that you'll never see.
I lay in my bed with a half empty bottle in my hand
and hope to dream that one day you'll understand.

Author's Note

I know a few words are misspelled in ways that sound more like slang than proper grammar, also I forgive if maybe the flow doesn't seem right at the moment.