For Andy

I lost my cousin, Arnaldo Robles, this past April (4/23/08). He put up an admirable fight against cancer, which was more than any 28 year old should have to endure. I loved him from the first time I saw him (I am 4 years older) and I always will.

I am never going to be the same...

The idea of life without you shatters my soul,

makes me hate myself for squandering

the time that we could have had together.

Instead of forever, I am faced with never

And I still can't come to believe...

 

One of my earliest memories:

Watching you in your crib.

You were a perfect little baby.

I learned about possesive.

As grown-up things complicated,

They whisked me away, but never faded

my love for you...

Andy, you will always be

That perfect little person to me.

I was fascinated then,

And through the years, that hasn't changed.

But now... though tears,

I see my world rearranged...

I would find myself trying to bargain with the Most High,

Checking inventory to see what I could offer

just to keep you with us longer.

Not wanting to see your mother cry,

I wanted to keep our star here on earth,

To never give you up to the sky...

I still don't understand WHY.

 

And though it may get easier to accept,

though it may become easier to stomach my regret,

Never will I forget.

For your impact was strong,

even though you were quiet.

I never knew how much one could miss silence...

Faith gives me the hope and the comfort to see

That although you are missed,

You are no longer suffering.

You are never further than a memory away,

and I know my love floats up to you

in Heaven when I pray.

So I keep you here in my heart always

until I see you again, one day.

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU.

Reviews

[Denise]

This is a beautiful poem . It really touched my heart. It shows how he was loved by the writer and how much he will be missed. It really bought tears to my eyes.

[Robyn]

This is such a sad poem, the emotion is raw.
"Andy, you will always be, That perfect little person to me." is an absolutely heartbreaking line.
I like how you ended it, a nice little glimmer of hope.