Depression

My first attempt at poetry... my realisation that i was being used... Not by you, but by the people i thought were supporting me. It just shows how easy people will turn away when something shiny comes along. Its not that good, but i think its a poem...

Status change,
A mind gone blank,
A life that can never compete.

A broken heart,
Filled with regret,
That wont look itself in the eye.

One man's dream,
Anothers folly,
The quest to re-raise a pen.

Lacklustre longing,
For the wrongs to be rights,
A bitter silence,
Of a notepad laid bare.

Tried to regain...
Failed to fulfil...
Doomed once more to the spotlight.

Smiling fans,
An eager crowd,
None admitting their fears.

Realising his folly,
He fades to the back,
His works dwindling away.

His once-fans laugh,
As they look to the back,
The new meat taking his place.

None remember,
The quietened boy,
That once took his pen to the stage...

None will remember,
Why he stopped writing...

...Only for acting his age

Author's Note

This is my first attempt at poetry, you can now appreciate why i dont put them up.

Reviews

[Pink Poison]

Actually, I think this is very good. You don't give yourself the credit you deserve. I think that you just aren't used to the flow of poetry, and perhaps are too close to the piece to view it objectively. Your image of a broken heart that "won't look itself in the eye" and "a bitter silence of a notepad laid bare" are absolutely poetry. They are the bones of feelings and if you can say so much with so little, kudos. I have read far worse poetry from very popular famous writers. Cut yourself some slack and keep writing. You have a talent for poetry that you shouldn't deny.

[poetic soul]

its an amazing start for poetry! :) nice one......

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[C. C. Burl]

I think this is a lovely poem! I like the tercets; I've always been intrigued by three-line stanzas. If this is your first try at poetry, you sure get the buck. (My first poem was a terrible mess!) I loved the beautiful imagery, as well as the content. I have also on many occasions discovered a conditional friendship or a friendship where I was being used. It hurts a lot. So thank you very much for the pretty poem, I hope to read more! Happy New Year, C. C. Burl.

[Kiara]

actually, this was impressive :]
i agree with epiphany apropos
you dont give yourself the credit
you truly deserve......
thanks for sharing! -arabella

[[untitled]]

This is good. A lot of great imagery and emotion. Nice work, you should keep writing and posting. It's like fine wine. :)

Blessings,

Lucy

[Wildecat]

I think you did a fine job and we all have to start somewhere. Nice write.

[Khance]

I dont know if should post here, but in answer to the depression thingy...

Yeah, i was too lazy to put it into a story format, because then you lot make me do the thinking for you. I wrote it as a poem on a whim because some of you wanted to read a poem by me. I dont necessarily know if i achieved that, but I would like to reinforce the point that i dislike writing poetry because i have to try to write it.

Fantasy comes naturally to me, and i write stories as easily as i can breath *cough*
Anywho... thought i would say that, dont be expecting any other poems from me, they dont exist, this was the first thing i tried to write... its unique :)

Thanks for all the helpful reviews.

[J.Black]

Ha, alright alright this was a pretty good attempt at poetry. I won't tel you it was terrible because it wasn't and I myself is not the best at poetry, but ATLEAST I have the balls to post it up regardless.
With that being said, post more. Even if it's super raw, atleast it shows your trying and your on the right path.

So it was packed with imagery which I liked I must say.
"A broken heart,
Filled with regret,
That wont look itself in the eye."

Those lines were brilliant.

[Ignorance Was Bliss Eve..]

I really really like this alot.
Very well put together, and My two fave stanzas

"Status change,
A mind gone blank,
A life that can never compete.

A broken heart,
Filled with regret,
That wont look itself in the eye"


Words can't even describe to be honest.
I beleive you should be fond of this. =)

[Lee E. Powell]

Man, you are too hard on yourself. Now I have to say, I know nothing about poetry, I really don't like it and would never go buy a book of poetry.

But I really liked this! It was filled with so much imagery and emotion, which so much poetry today lacks. good job!