Chapter 4

We started walking, neither of us were saying anything just enjoying the silence as we walked; I had no idea where he was taking me and I really didn't care, I was already in over my head.

Finally he reached for my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine. It was amazing the way our hands fit together like they were one hand. It was as if it was the most natural thing in the world and we had been doing that our whole lives. We were even walking in sync, it was really all very surreal. Oh and the tingling I had come to crave, once I had accepted it, felt so good. It was warm and seemed to go straight into my soul. I knew that no matter what happened from this point on, this single touch, I would always remember and I told myself if this was all I could ever have it would be enough. 

Yeah, I was lying to myself about that, this touch would never be enough but I was willing to let it be for now. I knew the road for us was going to be hard. I was pretty sure he was hiding some hard secrets and I knew I certainly was. I had stopped paying attention to where we were walking due to the fact my mind was filled with so many thoughts, worries and hopes, that until I stumbled slightly on a stick did I noticed a change in the ground. I looked up and realized we were in the forest. The same forest from my dream the previous night. 

Startled, I gasped and jerked my hand back and stepped away. I couldn't help but look at him knowing my eyes and face showed complete bafflement. When I did that I swear I heard him growl softly which caused me to look at him even harder with a degree of fear along with confusion. Could he have known about my dream somehow, my secret fear? With those thoughts swirling within my mind, I began to back away even more. 

After a few tense moments I noticed he hadn't moved, so with all the courage I could muster I slowly raised my eyes to look at him. What I witnessed was astounding. His face showed sheer horror as well as extreme confusion, though it was the horror I saw in his eyes that not only frightened me, but made my chest ache with a pain I have not experienced since I was a small child. I didn't know what I'd done to make him look like that. All my emotions must have been clear on my face because Max immediately stepped forward and grabbed my hand.

"Ivey, what's wrong, I am so sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to, I swear I would never hurt you. You are too important to me!" he exclaimed with a passion that rivaled a gladiator. It was like he was needing me to see into his soul to read the honesty in his eyes. I did believe him only I didn't understand why.

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Well it's now or never I guess. I know Ivey has things she is hiding from me I can see flashes in her eyes but I was willing to give her the time to come to trust me enough to share that with me, but I had to share my secrets with her now, Zeus was at his limit and wasn't going to wait much longer. He didn't care she was human, he just wanted his mate and to take away all her pain and suffering. At this point I had to agree with him. Ivey's display when she realized we were in the forest only made us more determined to figure out her past and show her she never had to be scared again.

I knew this was going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It killed me inside because if I told her and she rejected our bond there would never be another one for me. She was it. While she could eventually move on with her life maybe find another love but for me it would be a death sentence. I would either go rogue and have to be put down, or I would slowly loose the will to live and get sick until my body couldn't fight anymore. For Alpha's the symptoms would take over much faster then an average wolf. Regardless of her decision, I do not want Ivey to witness any of what could happen. Even though I could hear Zeus whimpering just at the mention of being rejected but he was also threatening to seize control and move forward. He had no doubts she would accept us. Zeus kept telling me Ivey was special and to have faith, she isn't what she seems, but he senses she doesn't even know who she really is or what she's meant for in the near future. She would need our courage, love and support from not only our pack but many others that would seek her out in the near future, of that Zeus was sure. He was growling inside that Ivey wasn't fully human though she didn't know it, it was like a block was placed over her to allow her to live a normal life, one she wasn't meant to live. 

He assured me the moon goddess knew what she was doing when she chose our mates, so she had to have had a good reason for giving me a human one regardless of Zues's warnings, so I am going to lay it all down on the line. If she needed time no matter how much it hurt or my wolf demanded I not give it to her I would give her the space she needed to come to grips with what I was and what we are to one another. It was the only way, because I knew I could never live my life without her. 

So as the saying goes - here goes nothing. I slowly turned to face her and took her other hand in my hand that way if she wanted to run I could stop her. Her eyes were huge, her body was trembeling slightly, I could tell she was terrified. I knew I needed her to know the whole truth but I also wanted to feel her skin when I told her and be able to smell her scent. She didn't realize it but her scent and just touching her calmed me so much and it made my wolf happy to know our mate like our touch.

"Ummm Ivey, there's something I want to tell you." I said to her quietly, I was having a hard time looking into her piercing green eyes. My nerves were at an all time high and my stomach was churning, but I knew I had to continue, our lives depended on it. I wasn't even sure she heard me. She just look up at me with those big beautiful green eyes and tried to smile. It was in that smile I was able to see our future. A future I could have with her no matter what trials or repercussions we would face once this came out; as long as I bore my heart to her honestly and with humility and no forms of accusations or pressures. I knew that she would eventually accept me for what I am and she would accept our bond. I also saw I would need to break down her walls and show her I would accept anything she needed to share with me and I would always be what she needed me to be. She would never be scared again. So with that I gained the courage to do what I was about to do. 

"Ivey, what I'm about to say may seem completely far fetched and if I was you I wouldn't believe a word I say. I know you don't know me but I hope you can find it in yourself to hear me out completely before you decide you never want to see me again." I told her in the most humbled manner I could muster.

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What in the world, was all I could think. I'm watching Max stand before me asking me to listen to him but it was what he wasn't saying that crushed me. Behind those words there was such anguish, pain and uncertainty that it reminded me of exactly what my heart felt like knowing what I would eventually have to tell him if I ever wanted something solid with him. Almost like his whole being depended on this one moment, on what I would do when he finished whatever he was going to tell me. It tore at the fiber of my being. I already knew I would do anything he asked but I vowed right then to myself no matter what he said to me I would not under any circumstance show him fear, disgust or any other emotion other than understanding and acceptance. I would want that same respect when it came my time to bear my soul. The man standing before me broken deserved that at least.

So I answered the only way I knew to and said "Max, whatever you have to tell me is fine, I can't explain it but I know this moment will change my life and I am ready to accept it. I don't understand the way I feel about you already so anything you say can only shed some light on why I feel as though a boy I don't even know is somehow now my whole world." 

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With that simple phrase she made me feel like everything would be ok eventually. Yes, I knew she had no idea what I was going to say but I was now confident that we would be able to get past my side and have the chance at the bond that mates should have. So here goes nothing....

So before I started I took both her hands in mine. This was for two reasons, one so she couldn't run away and two because just that simple touch calmed me and gave me the strength to go on and bear my soul, my secret to her. 

"Ivey, you know how you said you didn't understand the way you felt about me because you didn't even know me. First I need to tell you I feel the same way, and the reason we both feel this way is because were mates." I paused so I could gauge her reaction. She looked confused but she still was with me. 

"There are things in the world that people would rather not believe exist. I am not fully human, I'm a werewolf." I cringed as I said that because I knew now was when she was going to run screaming - but hmm.. wait she's not saying anything, she's still staring at me confused there was something else in her eyes hidden that I wasn't even sure she was aware of. She nodded waiting for me to go on.

"I'm not the type of wolf nightmares are made of I'm what's called a bloodline wolf's our whole pack and the many other packs around the world are bloodlines. We don't shift only on a full moon though during a full moon our wolf is at it's strongest. Our emotions can easily trigger a shift or we can shift at will, but we try to always be careful and never shift in front of humans. My wolf is me and I am my wolf. I control my human emotions and Zues, my wolf controls my animal side but we come together and meld into one." 

I decided to continue as fast as I could because I could sense her inner struggle to grasp this reality and I could feel her body beginning to sway and betray the brave front she was trying to portray. "We live and try to blend in with humans the best we can.Just as the rest of the paranormal society has done for a millinea. In our culture each werewolf is given a mate. It's like what humans would call a soul mate. It's our other half. The person that was made specifically for us. Ivey, angel you are my mate. It's why you feel the way you do. It's our bond. It pulls us toward each other like gravity. The moon goddess blesses each of us with the perfect counterpart to who we are. Everything about a mate is made specifically for each other. To compliment and make the other one better. A whole piece." I stopped to take a quick breath, my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was coming out of my chest, Zues was pacing nervously because he wanted her to accept us. I just needed her to listen for just a little bit longer.

"I knew who you were the second I stepped in the diner and caught your scent. It called to me. You smell like the most heavenly gardenias and honeysuckle on the planet. It's only just begun, as we grow closer and we begin the mating process our bond will strengthen and the love we will have will never diminish and only grow with time into something that will seem like fairy tales were made from it. There will never be another female other then you for me." I wanted to go on but I could see she was starting to go pale and her eyes were beginning to grow cloudy. Oh s**t!, she's going to pass out. 

At that moment I felt her knees buckle under her and she started to fall to the ground but I was able to catch her before she hit. So I scooped her up into my lap, cradling her while I sat there just staring at my beautiful angel. God she fit perfectly in my lap, every place her body touched was tingling. 

Unfortunately I was beginning to realize something else was straining in my jeans making it very uncomfortable to sit the way I was. This was so not the time for that to happen but I couldn't help it, being this close to her had my wolf going crazy. Well, both Zeus and I would just have to deal with our hormones because I was not going to risk not being able to touch her for even a second and besides Zeus was howling in such joy at being this close to our mate, that the though of readjusting just wasn't going to fly for either of us.  

I just wanted to sit and enjoy how lucky I was and only time would tell now if she would be willing to hear the rest of the story but I would wait for as long as it took and enjoy this closeness now while I could and my wolf needed to shut up and deal because the human in me would not force this upon her. We would be happy with whatever time or part of herself she gave us. So I sat there stroking her hair just watching her until she woke up. I noticed something as I was stroking her hair and her neck that I wanted to ask her about soon.

 My heart skipped a beat, maybe my dad was onto something about her having some wolf somewhere in her bloodline, because right there on her neck, next to where I would place my mark, was the faint silver outline of a crescent moon. Though it was diluted and almost hard to miss but it was  like any other unmated  she-wolf's mark from a different pack but it was supper faint so I couldn't really be sure. 

There was somethig so very familiar about the mark but I couldn't place where it was from, but maybe there was a lot more about Ivey then I originally thought to begin with. Zeus was purring in my head loudly telling me what a fool I was that he'd tried to warn me Ivey wasn't all she seemed. So it seemed my mate had a few secrets buried in her head that she might not even realize. Zeus claimed the mark was something that hadn't been seen in ages and was said to be very powerful but he couldn't believe he was actually seeing it. He refused to tell me what he meant just told me when the time was right I would know everything. He also reminded me just because he recognized the mark didn't mean he knew everything he just had serious suspicions on what it meant. I would have to do some research to understand exactly what it meant for us and what it meant for my dads suggestion of her actually changing. Though looking down at her in peace in my lap all I could do was  smile lovingly at her and I sat back to wait.

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I know I told myself whatever he said I would be ok with because deep down inside I felt like this boy was a part of me, and I knew I also had some dark secrets I was keeping as well as the voice in my head telling me I wasn't ready to know everything yet but in due time everything would be revealed to me but I would need Max by my side to help me get through the coming months. I had learned to trust the voice. It was like a inner part of me, never leaving and always there to guide me when I needed it's help. I learned long ago on that fateful night not to question the voice because he not only saved me but gave me the strength to do what I had to do. But he said Max would be a major part of my future; I didn't know how it nor I knew this but I just did, but seriously, what he was saying just couldn't be possible. Was this some sick joke he was trying to play on me? Something from what he was saying was causing a part of my head to pound like it was trying to remember something that could have a huge affect on both of us. The voice was silent for once but seemed to be also straining at holding back a memory. Almost as if I had heard this somewhere long ago but that memory I was trying to pull was buried so deep I just couldn't seem to get to it. I knew I was already in to deep with my heart. I had made a fatal error and torn down the walls I had built to protect myself from getting hurt; but he just kept talking and as I watched him closely for any signs of dishonesty I couldn't see it.

Oh hell he's telling the truth, he's a werewolf. 

As soon as that realization hit I felt the blackness begin to swallow me whole, my knees went weak and I knew I was going to pass out. Oh god please don't let him think I was disgusted by what he was. I honestly don't think I was, it was just to much to take in. My god his eyes are so beautiful and by some strange grace of a moon goddess he was all mine. That was the last conscious thought I had as I let the darkness take over.

As I slowly began to wake up I started to remember the craziest dream. I seemed to be having those a bunch lately. Gosh maybe I need to get more sleep or maybe that extra tip money instead of shoes I needed to spend it on a spa day because if I was so tired that I was creating alternative realities, I was really overworked.  

As I tried to stretch I suddenly realized something was holding me down. Not forcefully just cradling me in almost a cocoon. My eyes shot open and before I could stop myself I screamed.

"Ivey, Ivey IVEY angel..." someone was yelling and shaking me. I looked around frantically before my eyes landed on those beautiful blue eyes and immediately I knew I hadn't been dreaming. Everything that I thought was a dream was real. I immediately for whatever reason threw my arms around Max and clung on for dear life. I was shaking uncontrollably but I couldn't let go, I didn't want to because as long as I was in his arms I knew I was safe.

"Ivey, angel look at me!" Max tried to coax me out from the crook of his neck, but I shook my head and buried it deeper moving myself into his chest inhaling his scent. For some reason that seem to bring a wave of peace over me and I felt my heart beat slowly start to calm down. 

With such care, he cupped my chin in his hand and raised my head so I was looking him straight in the eyes. He was searching my eyes for something, probably to see if I was repulsed by him but I wasn't. I was still confused and I had this nagging feeling like I had heard about werewolves and the paranormal world somewhere long ago but at least I knew I wasn't crazy and I found comfort in the fact that what I was feeling wasn't just one sided, he felt it to and it was apparent on the look he had on his face. He was looking at me with such concern and love I couldn't wrap my mind around what his eyes were showing me. No one had ever looked at me like that. 

He slowly traced my face with his hands as if he was memorizing every part of my face. He moved his thumbs up and down my jaw and traced them over my lips then down my jaw to my neck gently massaging where that sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder met. Never once taking his eyes away from mine. It was such a sweet act that if I hadn't already been in love I would be totally in love for sure now even though we were still sitting on the forest floor, we could have been on top of the Eiffel Tower for all I cared his gaze had me mesmerized and I couldn't help but wish he would kiss me.  

Wow, my mind was moving fast. He was staring at me with such intensity that even if I had wanted to look away I couldn't I was trapped in that gaze. I know we had so much to discuss but at this one moment the only thought in my mind was what would it feel like for him to kiss me.

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God she's so beautiful and she's mine. I can't believe how lucky I was, so she fainted when I started to tell her about myself but I could handle that and now seeing the way she was staring at me; those big green eyes trying to see into the depths of my soul, I knew we would be able to get through anything. I wanted to take things slow even though Zeus was howling at me to claim her now that she was ours but I couldn't do that, she wouldn't understand that part yet but I wonder what she would do if I kissed her. I knew I needed to ask about the mark I'd seen but I couldn't seem to push my focus past her lips.

Her lips were so close and they were parted just so that I couldn't help myself if I was going to scare her off then at least I could resign myself if I at least got to kiss her. So as I kept her eyes glued to mine memorizing every aspect of her eyes I tilted her chin and pulled her head forward just slightly and as I did she let her eyes close and I slowly lowered myself to her lips.  

I was so afraid she would pull away but as soon as I brushed my lips onto hers she let out a little gasp.  The feeling of electricity flew through me and that sound broke what restraint I had left. I had to taste her, it wasn't about being soft anymore. I needed to feel her, our lips began to move in-sync with one another like we'd done this a million times but I needed more. I traced my tongue along the seam of her lips asking for entry and when she granted it, it was like being hit with a ton of bricks, her sweet flavor flew inside of me I couldn't get enough. 

I wrapped my arms around her tighter not wanting any space between us. She fit together with me perfectly, like a glove. She pressed herself into every available space so there was nothing on us not touching. A little moan escaped her mouth into mine and I fell, I fell harder then I ever thought was possible. My wolf was howling so loud I couldn't hear. My mate, I couldn't believe this wonderful perfect person was my mate. Finally as hard as it was I pulled back. I knew if I didn't I would risk doing something I knew she wasn't ready for.

She whimpered softly her face was flushed and her lips were red and swollen from our kissing but I had to look at her, I had to see her and for her to see me to see what she meant to me. I would give my life for this girl and to think I haven't even begun the claiming process yet. Ugghhh I groaned to myself, Zeus was demanding I do it now but I needed to explain it to her first. I didn't want her to run away because now I knew I would never be whole again if she wasn't by my side.

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So this is what fairy tales mean when they tell you the prince sweeps you off your feet at the ball. To say the kiss rocked my world was an understatement. Who ever thought a kiss could do things to a body that you didn't even know exist.

All I knew or rather all I cared about was that for right now he was mine. I realized in all honestly it didn't matter what he was I saw all I needed to see in his eyes to tell me the boy was all I'd ever need. I no longer needed to be alone I just needed him. It wasn't a need like your favorite pair of shoes but it was like the need to breathe.

I knew that from now on I would spend the rest of my life showing him that even though I was only a human and I wasn't a completely a whole person due to my past. I was going to be everything he could ever want and more; because this one boy now had the one thing I guarded above anything else and that was my heart and with that benefit he would also get the other treasure I was so careful at guarding. He would be my first and my last.  

I only hoped I could be as strong as he's been and I could open that part of me that I had buried for so long, because if I didn't share that with him I would never know if he really did love all of me and he would need to understand the reasons for some of the way I may act or for the reasons for some of my fears. I knew it would be a long road but I was willing to take the plunge.

Author's Note

If I miss any grammarical errors please don't hesitate to point it out. I will try to update regularly. this is Book 1 of a trilogy so I really want honest opinions and any ideas you think could make the story better. all critism is definitely appreciated