I forget

An internal struggle is raging in my soul... I'm not sure if I'm the person I thought I was....and I don't know how I feel about that.

Today I will show them fire, i will blow their minds in ways they couldn't imagine; ways I couldn't imagine.
Today I set out to inquire who it is I have become and to meet the person I am to be.
I've had glimpses of her, or maybe those were past lives coming back.
She seems so clear to me some days, yet others like a feather in the wind....drifting. Don't drift too far.
I want so bad to have my needle and thread ready like pan, but I left them somewhere with my heart, and for my own sake I've forgotten where.
My memory is only reliable for one thing, that's forgetting. I think...i don't know really, I forget.
As elusive as she is, she is me and I've no choice but to seek what lies within.
Today my memory is reliable for bringing back to me My mistakes.
The past has a way of shinning it's logic in the most unlogical places, like the present.
My past mistakes hold me back, they whisper sweet regret in my ear and bathe me in the scent of my own bad choices. It is so strong that I get lost and want to retreat to those oh so familiar ways, as bad as they are.
I've always been reliable for one thing, that's running. It's the easy choice it seems, but really it's not. It's the hardest choice to make. To drop all that is dear and close.. Maybe it is easy, I forget.

Author's Note

Does it seem finished?

Reviews

[Ayushi Jha]

Kudos to you! It was indeed complete and touching.