You kissed me first

The hands on the clock started racing each other, I begged them to slow down but they just got faster. I threw the stupid time teller, it was smashed into pieces yet those hands kept racing. I swallowed my pride enough to get on my knees, letting the broken glass puncture me, and I begged, "please just stop", but begging does not stop time; it only wastes it. Tears raced down my face faster than the hands around the clock, however, I didn't care enough to stop them. The shattered glass inside my knees didn't hurt the slightest bit, or maybe it did, but the pain in my chest was much more excruciating. Ticking, ticking, ticking in my head. The pounding never stops and the migraine overwhelmed my brain. Time doesn't stop for beggars.
With no purpose in looking pathetic I stood my shaky body upright. I knew you were leaving but I didn't know when. All I knew was that if the clock stopped maybe you would too. You said you wanted to travel the world England, France, Ireland, Germany, Japan. Nothing could hold you back and trying to convince you would end in more bitter tears. You said you wanted to live in Thailand but you don't even speak the language. You always liked to be alone and you're the smartest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
I'm selfish. I've always wanted you to myself, every time you met a new girl I was the biggest critic. If you leave I know you'll be so happy but I want you to stay close to me. If you're across the world we can't look at the moon together. We won't be able to talk during the day because you'll be sleeping. We may never hold each other again. Why couldn't you have told me what I was getting into when we met? Hell, you probably did. I don't know how I'll say good bye to you when the time comes. I don't know how I can judge your lovers from across the globe. I don't know how I can tell you how stupid you are when I don't know what you're up to.
I can't stop this f*****g clock still. The sun rises and it sets and repeats. The moon will be full and then reduce almost nothing. I don't know why I can't stop it. We've stopped it before, just for a few seconds. You pulled me close and our lips touched and I swear to you the clock stopped, the sun was a candle light, and the moon froze when it was exactly half full; maybe half empty. The years after that was full of accusations on who kissed who and how we both despised it. But I know you loved it and I did too because the time stopped.
So when you leave I will call you selfish and I will scream at you in a fit of rage. I'm going to ask you how the hell you could leave everyone behind. I'm going to cry as if my entire world is collapsing only to swallow me whole. I'm going to call you names and stomp my feet like a toddler not getting what it wants. I'm going to hold you like I'm holding onto my life and soak your shirt with tears. But you know me. I understand and I love you. I want what's best for you and this is most certainly best for you. Good bye's are not my fortè but you'll understand that. So right now I want to tell you I hope you enjoy this life you deserve and whenever this good bye is I know it's what you need and deserve. Lastly, you kissed me.

Reviews

[Outlawless]

Having experienced this myself, oddly enough said person moving to Thailand it brought back a lot emotions. How I was so selfish and threw a huge temper tantrum and masked my emotions with drink. I can never take back my misrepresentation of love viewed by her as hate.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Interesting. The greatest enemy and friend at the same time. How doi you stop it? How does it speed up? How to manipulate it? I liked this.