Coward's Puppet

A morose girl screamed in the middle of the tempest, knowing that her inability to swim would soon allow water to fill her lungs with the salty taste of regret. Regret of the things she didn't do and regret of the things she foolishly did. She had fallen deeply in love with a coward.
He was a boy who appeared as perfection, yet, he had a blemished mind. He let her screams fill his ears as he remained still- safe. The coward felt no murderous guilt; only curiosity of how the next 2 minutes may play out. "Puppet" he thought to himself, he adored that she obeyed him until his last forceful push. A sly smirk was born on to his face and her screams were no longer heard.
The ocean had swallowed her whole and she was unaware of whether or not the tempest continued on the surface. The silence soothed her as it prepared to take her into a deep sleep that she would not awaken from. She remained civil as she closed her eyes and allowed the sea to crawl down her throat and into her lungs. The beautiful ocean was the remedy to her life and her last thought was not of her cowardly lover but instead of her mother putting her to sleep one last time.

Reviews

[Craig2591]

I don't think it's missing anything. I like stories that leave a lot to the reader's imagination. I like a story with mystery. I like this story.

[Cheesypoetry]

Really loved it ! I think if you wrote a book or something with a attention grabber like that i was totally read it !

[Krizito]

Well I guess love does kill,especially when you're the puppet. Though I'm kind of curious what got her to that point anyway. Great story.

[Susanna]

This would be a great prologue for a book. It grabbed my attention.

[Armanis]

I feel as if this short story, though very excellent in detail is missing something. I want a beginning. I want to know how he played her as a puppet. What makes him a coward. Some of these things that can help us better understand the character and protagonist better. We are literally thrown inside a pond. In stories you really don't have this freedom unless it somehow serves a purpose. If you want to leave it as it is, it is much better written as a poem.
As a poem, it needs to be reformatted.
As a story of some sort, it needs a lot of work

[Inject Positivity]

Well i found something unique here, i love short stories and this one is very beautiful....The use of words like 'salty regret' made the story more stand out....I think the background and the description was quite brilliant....The use of simplicity was quite good....I really loved the title of the story.....Thumbs up!!!!