The Last Time

A Story by KeyMagick

The Last Time
The last time. The last time i took the train to meet you halfway. Shifting my weight in my seat. The butterflies in my stomach wouldnt let me sit still. I just wanted to get there. Excited to see your face. The last time you left my house. I walked you to the train, up the stairs, to the train door. I watched you get on the train. My heart went with you. The last time we layed down, face to face. Staring into each others eyes. No words, just feelings. Trying to reach down and pull out each others soul. The last time you looked over at me and smiled a real smile. We sat on your bed watching Harry Potter eating the meal you just cooked for us. I looked over at you to steal a glace but you caught me. You stopped eating and smiled at me. A smile that said im happy you are here, im happy you are mine, i care about you. That smile could mealt my heart. The last time we kissed so hard i couldnt breath. 2am and we are up alone in your room. I wondered if you felt what i was feeling. "Do you feel that?" you asked "what?" i said playing dumd, i knew exactly what you meant. " That urgency, that i have to have you now feeling, i never felt that before. I like the way you kiss me." I smiled and kissed you again. The last time you reached for my hand. In Trevors car. You picked me up from the train station. I had just had an asthma attack at work and was sent to the hospital. I was scared to get on the train, worried i would have another one. You must have heard this in my voice. You asked if i wanted to meet up with you and said Trevor would drive me home. I sat in the back while you sat in the front seat. You reached behind you, asking for my hand. I loved that. I loved that you wanted to be close to me. I moved closer to the edge of my seat and gave you my hand. I looked out the window into the night and thought to myself how did i get so lucky? The last time you pulled me close to you. I had gotten into a fight with my mom and you said i could spend the night. We did laundry well into the night. We got back to your house exhausted. Layed in bed watching Youtube videos. You looked at me and said "tired" i replied"who, me?" You pointed to yourself and gave me this innocent look, one i have never seen before. You turned over and faced the other way. I lay awake, unable to shut my mind off. I felt your hand tap me and grab my arm. You pulled me close to you. The morning came way to fast. The alarm went off, you looked at me and said "thats for you dude." I got up, got dressed and was doing my hair. I looked over at you sleeping so peacefully. You opened one eye and said "come lay back down for a little while." I crawled back into your bed and you graded for my hand again. Pulling me towards you, you said "Come close to me." The last time I went to your house. Something was different, i could feel it. The last time you made me dinner. You made a potato and some veggies. We wacthed a movie and you noticed me whiping off the veggies. "Whats wrong, are they to spicy?" you asked. I shyly nodded my head. The last time we sat in your kitchen. Once again, we sat up well into the night. You doing homework and me writing. Eariler in the night we watched Finding Dory. You asked if i would do the dishes. I agreed feeling like an idiot for not offering sooner. You walked by my chair and kissed my head. I put my hair in a bun and my hair tie broke. I stood up to do the dishes and you came up behide me and pulled my hair into a bun for me. "Thank you babe." I said. The last time you called me babe. Outside in your hallway. We stood out there feezing as you smoked a cigarette. I looked down and saw your slippers. Black slip ons with a think metallic sliver strap over your toes. "Oh i like your slippers!" I said. "They are from Victorias Secret, ill get you a pair babe." you quickly said. So fast i wasnt sure thats what you even just said. The last time i woke up next to you. Monday morning, we both have work but cant seem to wake up. All of our alarams keep being snoozed. I finally get up and get ready. I have a few minutes to spare and remembering the time you asked me to come back into bed with you, i look over at you. I see you open your eyes and hope you will ask me to lay next to you. You dont and my heart drops a little. I crawl back into bed and get as close as i can to you without you noticing. At the last minute, you wake up. I look at you and say Good Morning. You turn to me and throw your hands up showing me a peace sign. You come back into the bedroom with oatmeal. "You should really eat something." you say to me. Always worried i dont eat enough. "Im not hungry." i say as i get myself together. The last time you kissed me. You walked me to your front door. Gave me a quick kiss and said "text me when you get home." and then you were gone. Disappeared behide the metal door. I tuned back to look, just to make sure. I tried to push the feeling in the pit of my stomach away, but i knew. You mentally checked out weeks ago. The last time you dyed you hair green. Violently green. A few days later you told me we should just be friends. I think back to that time as i sit here and listen to you tell me you are dying your hair green again. I smile but panic fills my chest. Just like last time, the next day you say you cant do this anymore. The same reasons as the last time. I look away from my phone for a second. Blurry eyed, i think to myself "damn that green hair dye."