Black Cigarette Afterthought

It might confuse u?

Black Cigarette Afterthought

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dive so deep

until I sea the pressure

In my life haste’s the ruler, but there’s nothing to measure

No time for lying,

no time for pleasure

Can’t cover naked truth,

But I always try to dress her….

So Lets bare the facts….

 

 

My train of thought is going off track….

“Your bound to trip when carrying luggage”

 

 

Tripping over lines overstating the subject

Paid the price so much and waiting for budget

Cuts into the writers wrist leaving me touch less

No more paying…. With these coined phrases?

How would I save myself?

Kevon Crute

 

 

I know this might to some pretty hard to understand, so if your confused you can ask in a comment or message me..

Reviews

[FuMiko]

I love it. The flow is absolutely perfect, and it seems a piece meant to be read aloud. Perhaps confusing to those that expect to rush through a poem, though this is definitely one that would slow you down.
A great write, and something to definitely be proud of.

[Apryl Skies]

Impeccable use of word play and flow. I like the reading of thoughts like stacked pennies. Very nice. I get this, I do but there are a few rough patches that could be helped by simple punctuation. I "sea" some tiny intentional word play that to some might seem like typos but knowing what your doing and being one to pay close attention to detail I can still see a few places that may need a correction. "Can't cover naked truth,

But I always try to dress her�." in one word...CLEVER! love those lines.