Chapter 3

Jock meets Vianna in the market place.

JOCK

Your mother has been worried sick about you. I was given a fine whipping for letting you sneak out like that.

VIANNA

Mother needs to learn that her daughter is growing up and needs her space.

JOCK

But you're her daughter?

Vianna looks at Jock confused and rolls her eyes.

VIANNA

Forgive me Jock but I'm tired and I really would love to slumber.

JOCK

Don't you even care about my whipping?

VIANNA

I'm sorry about you were whipped.

Jock pulls his pants down and bends over. Vianna's eyes almost fall out of her head. Townsfolk are disturbed.

One WOMAN takes a basket from her LITTLE GIRL and barfs in it.

Jock pulls his pants up.

JOCK

Sorry? There are no words. Come I'll you off to bed.

Vianna follows still looking quite disturbed at Jock.

Vianna begins taking off her clothes. Her dress is so big she removes almost six layers of clothing just to get it off.

Once she is in her nightgown her door flies open. It's her mother QUEEN BUMBLE.

Bumble is a middle aged woman wearing a sparkling gown and tiara.

bumble

Vianna! My darling little girl I was so worried about you.

VIANNA

Well mother I'm fine.

Vianna turns to her mirror.

VIANNA

(To herself)

Unfortunately.

Bumble walks down to her.

BUMBLE

I thought Jock had lead you to your untimely and horribly violent death. I'm just so glad that your okay.

Bumble squeezes Vianna's cheeks. She gently pushes her mother off.

Bumble strokes Vianna's long blonde hair.

BUMBLE

Come sit. Let me pamper you a little.

VIANNA

It's okay mother I can brush my own hair.

BUMBLE

SIT!

Vianna flinches and sits at her mirror. Bumble begins brushing Vianna's hair.

BUMBLE

I didn't mean to startle you my dear but you know how concerned I get about you. Your the princess and the future queen of Feble. I cannot afford to replace you.

VIANNA

You won't have to mother. I'm sorry.

BUMBLE

That's a good girl. Now remember what you have to do tomorrow?

VIANNA

Yes mother I'll get right onto fixing the outhouse.

Bumble shoots into confusion.

BUMBLE

What! NO! That's Jock's job. You have to practice your demeaning and death stares for two hours tomorrow morning.

VIANNA

Oh that. Mother I really don't see the point.

BUMBLE

Well I do. My mother made me do it and so you will too. Bright and early Vianna.

Bumble heads for the door. She turns to Vianna.

BUMBLE

Bright and early.

Bumble exits and Vianna mimics her.

VIANNA

If she thinks I'm wearing that hokey crown she has another thing coming.

Lylass is laid up on the bed pressing an icepack to his forehead.

Leelass enters.

LEELASS

Dude I got you some more ice for your head.

Leelass throws the pack at Lylass and hits him hard in the groin. He sequels and rolls off the bed.

LEELASS

Oh that's my bad. I'll get you one for your nuts.

Lylass helps himself back onto the bed.

LYLASS

No it's okay really I'm fine.

Leelass shrugs and picks the other pack up off of the floor and begins eating the ice from it. Lylass holds his groin.

LYLASS

So this plan with Feble. Run it by me again.

LEELASS

It's simple. We ride into the town as beggers and plead with the town council about getting a meeting with the queen on the grounds of our sick mother. When they agree to let us into the castle you take care of the meeting and I find the bow steal it and blow out of there.

LYLASS

Why can't I steal the bow?

LEELASS

Well because I'm just a little more skilled than you.

LYLASS

Come again? I seem to recall me saving your bacon a numerous amount of times.

LEELASS

Name one.

LYLASS

Well.

DRAMATIC FLASHBACK SEQUENCE.

Lylass pushes open the creaky door and enters slowly. The small house is filled with ornaments and expensive china.

He begins putting things into a hession sack. Through to the kitchen Lylass sees Leelass tied up and hanging upside down from the ceiling.

An angry old WOMAN holding a sickle to his throat chastises him.

old woman

You young whipper snapper. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

LEELASS

Look lady I already said I was sorry. So if you cut me loose that would be fantastic.

OLD WOMAN

So you can rob from me again (a beat) ha! Not in this lifetime. Your going to be my slave.

The kettle begins to boil and the Woman trudges over to it. Leelass spots Lylass stealing the ornaments in the living room.

LEELASS

(Whispers)

Hey. Get me out of here.

LYLASS

(Whispers)

No.

LEELASS

(Whispers)

Why?

LYLASS

(Whispers)

Because it looks funny.

LEELASS

(Loudly Shouts)

Your an a*****e!

The Woman spins around to Leelass.

OLD WOMAN

Excuse me!

LEELASS

Oh no not you I was talking to.

Lylass is nowhere to be seen. Leelass grins at the Old Woman.

Lylass is smirking at Leelass who looks less than impressed.

LEELASS

You know what (a beat) I'm going to bed.

LYLASS

Goodnight my fair brother.

Leelass shuts out the lamp.