A child's summer rain.

7.17.2007 (3) [university ave, urbana]

 

A child’s summer rain.

 

pitter patter

pitter patter

pitter patter

                        pout.

 

All this rain, and all this rain.

            I just want to shout.

 

hey you.

didn’t you know

that this is my summer,

not yours?

 

fizzle fizzle

crack crack

whizz bang

                        boom.

 

All this thunder, and all this lightning

            Now I’m stuck in my room.

 

please, oh please.

let the sun shine

let the kids play.

 

woosh woosh

pitter patter

pit   pit   pat

                        tweet.

 

All the wind, oh, all the wind.

            Makes the rain retreat!

 

thank you! thank you.

i’ll share the summer with you

but maybe, just sometimes

can you make it rain when I sleep?

 

 

 

 

Kevin M. Reader

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

"pitter patter"...the original onomatopoeia...yay.

The simplistic rhyme scheme increases the sense that this is a child's narrative voice...nice technique - plus all the sounds and wishes.
A fun read.

Thanks for posting it.

p.s. "lighting" (not sure if you meant lightning or not?)

[rachel D]

the format works really well for this write. i like the simplistic words, like that of a child. this was fun for my head and my heart

[Brette Medb]

I loved the flow of this, it was so cute! It was definitely a child's summer. Innocent and sweet. Great write.


Brette

[Gandré]

ha ha a fun read, dazzling cute playful way to speak out a frustration. loved the words "woosh woosh".

[Dead Angel]

hahaha i really like this poem!! i can relate at the moment because its been raining a whole lot where i live and i've been dying to go to the beach. this was a very cute poem!! i like how you make the sound of the rain and the yearning to go outside and play. great job!!! :)

[A. Dylan Okopny]

love the onamatopias (sp)...my favorite: pitter patter
Its like being a child again! Good job!
A.

[Jillian Alexis (has bee..]

i enjoyed this a lot.
i love the ending..
it made me feel like a child again,
thinkin rain rain go away come back another day haha
great write.