Good Intentions

We mean good, but sometimes it doesn't come across that way.

It seems my good intentions

Spun out of control

And despite personal expenses

Remain dissonantly unwhole

 

It seems a rush of blood

That bled itself dry

Brought my mind a flood

Ravaging on terms of a lie

 

And that’s where they die

In the spun out drought of

A swan song cry

Out with it boy, into the fresh autumn night.

Reviews

[Ms. Gruye]

not bad, my friend.
You've got a control of your words and a good eye for editing.
on a whole this works as a decent piece of poem.

i would ask you to chase your ideas a little further and offer us a snippet of imagery to accompany your concept.

[Natasha]

Beautiful.
You kept your rhyme scheme in line, the flow is quite smooth, and the imagery was excellent.

You're an awesome poet, Kevino.

[Theresa]

Very well written and flows perfectly. It speaks volumes in only a few verses.
"It seems a rush of blood
That bled itself dry
Brought my mind a flood
Ravaging on terms of a lie"
Love this verse.
Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.

[*~Kristy~*]

I loved this! The words flowed, smooth as silk. I loved it.