My Biggest Fear

This is something that motivates me.

Some of us are motivated by love.  Some are motivated by money.   Some by family/friends.

 

I am motivated by fear. 

 

By my fear of losing it.  I mean, REALLY losing it. 

 

 

 Losing what?

 

 

MY MIND.

 

 

When life  becomes difficult and I feel stress.   I get headaches, or a lack of sleep .

 

My fear is losing my sanity. 

 

I worry I will make decisions that will cause others to take away my freedom. 

 

My freedom of movement.   My ability to come and go at will.   

 

I value my ability to 'get up and leave' when I feel the need.

 

My biggest fear in life is becoming so irrational as a result of high stress and then not being able to deal with everyday things.  

 

Insanity. 

 

 

And being placed somewhere where others control me and not ME controlling me.

 

 

Many decisions I make in my daily life reflect my need to avoid any possibility of this happening to me.

 

I try to not think about this every day but its always in the back of my mind.

 

 

Author's Note

This is a deep seated fear of mine.

Reviews

[Betty]

Of the many things in life the most i fear is loosing sight of what is real and what is not, which in other words mean INSANITY!! I can relate to your fear in many ways as i myself have been cradling it for some time now... "I try to not think about this every day but its always in the back of my mind.".
Thanks for sharing this wonderful writing.

[lee von cleef]

Ya my Dad told me if I didn't like the Track I could load and go, somewhere else. Dementia tough stuff, to live in the present, the real now, with the rest of the slate clean, I think tougher to watch, yet I don't have to unravel the fishing knot of thread broken spool in my head, just my mothers frustration line to the clouds....

[Steve]

Thanks for reading and adding good thoughts here. I appreciate that greatly.

[A.E. Surdam]

Powerful and full of intense feelings. Great write.

[Steve]

Thank you! It felt good. And its true too.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Fear can motivate or restrict one from truly living... it is a complex emotion... if or when it gets out of control, insanity can dominate your mind, body, and soul... stress can be the root cause.. You need to relax and enjoy the simple things in life... Great expression. :)

[Steve]

I think I do enjoy simple things. I am a happy person most of the time. Its just genetics I think. My family tree is an interesting one....

[Robbie~xoxo~]

don't we all have somethin interesting?.... :D

Nice release of thoughts. :)

[Steve]

Thank you again. This WAS a nice release.