My Biggest Fear

This is something that motivates me.

Some of us are motivated by love.  Some are motivated by money.   Some by family/friends.

 

I am motivated by fear. 

 

By my fear of losing it.  I mean, REALLY losing it. 

 

 

 Losing what?

 

 

MY MIND.

 

 

When life  becomes difficult and I feel stress.   I get headaches, or a lack of sleep .

 

My fear is losing my sanity. 

 

I worry I will make decisions that will cause others to take away my freedom. 

 

My freedom of movement.   My ability to come and go at will.   

 

I value my ability to 'get up and leave' when I feel the need.

 

My biggest fear in life is becoming so irrational as a result of high stress and then not being able to deal with everyday things.  

 

Insanity. 

 

 

And being placed somewhere where others control me and not ME controlling me.

 

 

Many decisions I make in my daily life reflect my need to avoid any possibility of this happening to me.

 

I try to not think about this every day but its always in the back of my mind.

 

 

Author's Note

This is a deep seated fear of mine.

Reviews

[Betty]

Of the many things in life the most i fear is loosing sight of what is real and what is not, which in other words mean INSANITY!! I can relate to your fear in many ways as i myself have been cradling it for some time now... "I try to not think about this every day but its always in the back of my mind.".
Thanks for sharing this wonderful writing.

[:o]

I believe you speak of something we all go through. I myself have experienced such trauma of the mind. At times I have to just let it all go. An interesting poem here.

[Valeriya Nahirnyak]

For me it's quite simple .. I stress, I make bad choices, sometimes I lose my freedom but I always win my control over situations and become free again as it should be !

[Steve]

By 'lose my freedom' I mean that I worry I could be incarcerated or locked up for losing it.
read moreBy 'lose my freedom' I mean that I worry I could be incarcerated or locked up for losing it.
Thank you for reviewing. That was kind to leave a nice comment.

[Valeriya Nahirnyak]

Well you shouldn't worry much about it, things just happen the way they must happen.

[Valeriya Nahirnyak]

But I totally understand your fear (: It became clearer at the second time reading .

[Steve]

I'm so glad. I was worried this one might be considered strange or wierd.

[Valeriya Nahirnyak]

It requires understanding yes, but still it's good.

[ChristiannaPujol]

Love the typography. It really gives it that extra effect. I can also relate very much to this. I, too, always think about the "what ifs" of life. Everything can be gone in an instant so it's good just to enjoy what you have now. Keep writing! :)

[Steve]

Oh thank you! That is a wonderful comment. This was a rant I guess about a deep seated fear...

[Sweets]

This made me think deeper into that subject. It makes a lot of sense to me, I'll read it over and over again :)

[Steve]

Thank you pretty lady.......

[Steve]

I appreciate you reading and thinking about this. :0)

[Sweets]

No problem, it's a pleasure reading your work!

[MOON]

Seems to me most of us are motivated by fear and insecurity, not being a full packet of chips that's scary indeed!

[Steve]

I agree. (I think!) Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Renny]

We share almost the same faith in fear, if we conquer in the end then we rejoice. But if comes in the reverse, nothing changes because we had already feared it.Good Write!

[Steve]

Thank you Renny! I appreciate your nice review.

[NA]

I lost my mind years ago....great read!

[Steve]

Thanks for reading and commenting! That is great of you.

[Muse]

I don't know...I've thought about this a lot. When I'm old...Alzheimer's really doesn't sound like such a bad thing. Losing it in that aspect means being ignorant to it all. Losing it "physically" being strapped to a bed, paralyzed or wheel chair bound feels like a scarier thing to lose.

[Steve]

Thank you so very much. I have read some of your work and I feel privileged to have you read something I wrote. I appreciate your thoughts.

[Muse]

Of course...and thank you for reading me. :))

[Steve]

Your writing is excellent. You are dramatic and intense.

[Muse]

I've been called other things too...abrasive...Satan worshiper...obnoxious....lol

[Steve]

You seem to be expressive and different. Vibrant and colorful.

The hell with those who are judgemental.

[Steve]

And, you aren't boring.

[Viccy Rogers]

I love how your use of font, size and colour help to enhance your point and make the text seem more dramatic so it stands out more! Maybe you could add a one-line paragraph at the end to make one last point that leaves the reader wondering more about it?

[Steve]

Please tell me more. What kind of point?

[Viccy Rogers]

Whatever you feel would be the most interesting! After the last sentence, maybe something like 'But it may not be enough...' or something that implies that despite the decisions he's made, the character is still constantly threatened and is losing his mind. I just feel it needs a final trail of thought that leaves the ending more open and mysterious! Other than that though, it's really great:)